My birthday was last week. On that day, we received news SS18 was accepted to a jobcorp out of state, with his admission date being the 20th.  I was excited and relieved but also apprehensive. Knowing SS18, I waited for something to happen for him to be unable to go. I even thought to myself that he was likely to get off the bus and run away possibly just to tell us he was kicked out.

I told DH to make sure he knows where SS is by checking his phone location, just to make sure he makes it to the state and stays there.

SS still maintained his crappy schedule. He would wait for DH and I to go to sleep at around 8-10pm, and it was then that he would leave his room and go to the living room all night. He’d watch tv, eat, and pretty much stay up until about 5am, then he’d go back upstairs to his room. I reflected that if we had still stayed in the 2 bedroom apartment DH has, SS would not likely have been able to get away with a schedule like that because it would be harder to get away with (apartment is one floor, 2 bedrooms, and you would have heard if someone watches tv all night in the living room).

I hadn’t spoken to SS18 for about a month, I deliberately kept it very short with him after he texted me that “rant” and “sound like a broken record” and that it’s all useless because nothing changes. In those texts, he wanted me to “compromise” and not force him to go to a jobcorp. He wanted to figure it out from home, which I refused based on the fact that he’s been unable to accomplish anything under my home these past 11 years. And since DH suddenly wants to be an on the road truck driver, and obviously didn’t want to take him along, I too refused. He’s not my kid, and not my responsibility. I always told them that as soon as SS was 18, everything would change because he’d technically be an adult. I kept to my word and I don’t know that anyone was ready for it.

In any case, I hadn’t spoken to SS for about a month and I asked DH if I should say anything before he left. DH told me that since the final text SS gave me was a response to my saying “The best form of apology is changed behavior” and SS says “With changed action as well which I will do both. I will prove it to you”. DH said I should remind SS of that text and give some encouraging words.

That morning, I got up at 5am, SS was sitting at the table in the dining area looking at his computer. I began talking to him and reminding him of that text and saying I know he can complete this, he is more than capable. He refused to even look at me. Just kept staring at his laptop. I look at DH and said “You see this? He didn’t even respond.” DH then asks him if he heard me, SS18 says yes and DH tells him he needs to acknowledge that I spoke to him. I then started in on how that is rude and disrespectful and we are at this point due to his own actions. He stood listening, did not say one word, not 1. Didn’t look at me at all.

But he left. He’s gone. And it feels great.