I found that when I started writing more today that somethings seem like babble as you actually dont understand the dynamics of what I walked into. So I am going to try to explain a little better....
As I stated Bio mom was killed in an accident in which her mother was driving. BioGrammy made it through it, but the mother was killed instantly. The girls were 8/10 at the time. My now husband and his wife, basically followed these people wherever they went. They lived and still live just a few blocks from where we currently reside. These people are strict baptists... HOWEVER if someone tells them that they are not doing the christian thing or that they are wrong they boycott the church they are attending and move on to another one. I blame ALOT of this all on grief, and the fact that the mother never recieved professional help after the death of her daughter. I also believe that it is the reason that they stepped in so far into the grandaughters lives. Trying to make up for what they no longer had. In the beginning the grammy would make meals for all three. My H was in school and working full time and so she enabled him to continue what he was doing. However the oldest began to learn the art of manipulation. If the grammy was making something she didnt want to eat for a meal, she would protest and grammy would make her an entirely different food. When my husband protested and said she can have what everyone else is having, is when the troubles started. They basically told him to go away so they could do what they wanted, but he still needed help with the girls as he had a full boat with a full time job and full time school. Thus began accusations that he was having an affair with another student that rode with him to class, then they began accusing him of doing it prior to his wifes death... and they said these things to the kids.
As sure as I am there is a GOD I assure you that my husband then nor ever would cheat on ANYONE. He is strong in his faith and is the farthest thing from a womanizer you can imagine. He is a good man and well rounded, even if in his grief he dropped the ball. He will tell you today it was a mistake, however he has and continues to learn which makes him an exceptional person in my book.
Now for whatever reason, my husbands family too dropped the ball. BioMom was very close to her family and more geared towards them. Most of her events were planned around them and as they lived around the corner it kind of just became a way of life. SO when biomom passed, because of convenience and location, my husband tried to resume his life like normal. His mother was trained in counseling and didnt intervene. And my husbands siblings were off doing their own thing.
Now as for the girls, the oldest.. Medusa was more like her mother and grandparents. Easily persuanded to believe delusions and judge people. Anyone that drank was a drunk, if you smoked cigarettes, you were a druggie, and if you had children and were not married you were a whore. And as frequently as these judgements came out of their mouths, she too learned to allow her loose lips to swing. Now the youngest, Cinderella, was kind of same in the start, however her lips didnt over ride her basic intelligence. She listened first. However, just like her father she didnt communicate with others her feelings or ask questions about things she didnt understand.
That being said the players are now.... grammy_ bio mom mothers
Medusa_ evil step daughter
Cinderella_ the angel child
the three Ds are my bio kids
Now I dont expect anyone to follow this blog, it is for my own personal therapy, however, due to the fact I am starting at the beginning of my journey, you may find yourself lost. I will try to topic things the best I can.
This place is amazing and I cant state enough how happy I am to have found it!