I raised three bio kids on my own for 17 years when I stumbled upon him! Although his idea of a romantic gift in a new air conditioner or an oil change, it is always done with the soul of a man taking care of his lady. It is always for my comfort or safety that makes those less than heart stopping gifts all the more precious. Through three years of courtship he brought me into faith, forgiveness and acceptance and became the ONE person in this world that loved me BEYOND anything I had ever experienced and I thank GOD daily for him.
His situation was not filled with divorce or resentment, he was a widow. A car accident in which his former wifes mother was driving the vehicle, ran into a train and claimed the life of his beloved and the mother of his children. The grandmother lived and as sure as I am of anything, with a huge amount of guilt even though it was, as stated, just a horrible UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT.
However as alot of people do, mistakes were made. My husband not being the most female understanding person on the planet, didnt know what to do with two pre-pubescent little girls and therefor he allowed the maternal grandmother to step in and kind of claim the role of the primary caregiver. The girls slept in the home of their father, however most all other needs were met by the grandmother, from purchasing clothes and female products to making them meals at night before their father came home from work. She readied them for school events and took care of birthdays, and their father just primarily existed through the motions of gifts and life. Unfortunately NO ONE addressed the grief they were all dealing with, and without any sort of effort they spent many years existing and not living.
For three years their father spent a majority of his lonely time with a woman that had four children of her own. Only seeing his own lonliness, he allowed the girls to live their lives in the comfort of their grandparents, while he tried desperately to put his feet on the ground of his hopes and dreams with another person even if he didnt see that it was pulling him away from his own children.
Reality or fate finally stepped in and this man and I met. We found great comfort in each other and began a relationship. Then I finally met his children. WOW! Both fairly attractive girls but WOW!Both dressed in clothes that were more appropriate for a grandmother, neither of them able to look you in the eyes and have a conversation, and both socially behind most of their peers. Both in high school, and thicker girls, they wore athletic bras, and hunched over and didnt seem to have a clue.... what was going on in the real world! My heart broke for them, and for the things they were missing and that this man I had grown to love was missing in knowing these young women. This was going to be a journey for ALL of us. And I didnt know if I had the patience, but I sure had the love.
I will continue more later... dinner calls!
footnote: MAN AM I GLAD I FOUND THIS PLACE!