You and CG are on to something there. Although we don't want the headache that crazy BMs bring, most of us do enjoy wonderful marriages and or relationships with our DH/BF. This one is a lot harder than how we normally play this, let's see why I appreciate BM...

1. She was such a horrible mother and wife that DH APPRECIATES the little things I do to make our lives better.

2. DH is a wonderful communicator (she says that he didn't communicate).

3. DH is a great help around the house (cleans better than I ever could). BM stated that he was too militant in expecting a clean house.

4. I am LEARNING patience. I am proving to be a below average student :), but I am still learning. I used to get straight FFFFFFs.

5. I appreciate and value the healthy relationships in my life and don't hesitate to share that with friends and love ones.

6. No matter what screw ups I do, she always manages to TRUMP me. Almost like a sibling (ICK) rivalry.

7. I appreciate, value and respect HONESTY even more. No one is perfect, but being able to say "I messed up..." or "I am sorry" means a lot to me.

8. Showing me that I have the inner strength to win Ms. Olympia if it were a body building competition.

9. Showing me that there is always more than one way to skin a cat. I have had experience with mental illness with both friends and family, but I have never had it to this extent. So, I am learning to be more tolerant, not accepting, of foolishness, differences, and whatever else she throws at me. My means are not always conventional, but they almost always get results.

My new StepMother's Motto:

When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.

1) Screwing around on DH, Now he's learned from her I never fear of him cheating
2) Bringing me closer to God. With her and the skids in my life I find myself praying more
3) Making me more greatful for my family. I thought they were screwed up but I see now no one's family is as bad as BM's white trash family
4) giving me a backbone. Before her and the skids I would do anything for anyone and I was always backing down and never standing up for myself.
5) Making me realize that things worth having are worth fighting for. She didn't want DH while married to him or the year after they divorced but she sure did want him for the first four years we were married.
6) Letting him go so he was free to do as he wanted and meet me in the process
7) Teaching me patience, after all she's the one who taught the skids to be the way they are.
Showing me I have willpower and that I can use it to hold myself back from beating the ever loving crap out of her.
9) She's taught me to love the state of Georgia with all my heart! She HATES Georgia, doesn't like coming here and is afraid of driving here so she keeps her butt in North Carolina. Yipee!

~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~

I might not have as many as some of you but i'll try.
#1) yes, leaving DH and letting ME find him ( I agree with the cheating comment that dreamer wrote I trust him completely)
#2) letting me be the aunt to all the NEW babies that are joining his family (DH has 6 sisters)and the FAVORITE DAUGHTER INLAW
#3) teaching me that I have morals and values,I graduated from high school,owned my own home,all my children are with the same man (and planned) and work everyday at a job I hate to take care of my kids.
#4) teaching me that i don't need a mans money to take care of me
#5 she maybe met him first and had the first years of his life but, I'm looking forward to spending the rest of his life with him.
#6) ok,giving my DH the opertunity to be a father,DH and I won't be having any together.

A few things come to mind at the moment.

1.)Just the fact that her actions stirred up in me a need to defend myself against other people. The need to defend myself to people in general. I had always been rather timid but with a temper that switches on instantly. With a wild glare in my eye. When it came down to it - she thought I would tuck tail and run from her because of my outward appearance. It backfired in her face. SHE finally became the last straw of being treated like crap by people. I do thank her for that. For showing me my own strength. For showing me that people will treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you.

2.)I'm thankful that despite her crazy whacko actions - I believe that she does love her children. She'll react in a devastating way when she's focusing on herself. She's done some really rotten things to get back at DH and hurt her kids really badly in the process. She'll focus on herself and how she's not doing too well or getting exactly what she wants. Though I KNOW that she does love them. We all have faults. I'm sure if you asked her I have millions of them.

3.)I'm thankful to her for showing DH who he doesn't want to be.

4.)For showing me not to trust EVERYBODY. She showed me that if you give people the benefit of the doubt and they don't deserve it - you'll be burned most of all. An old leopard isn't going to change her spots unless it benefits the old leopard. Even then it may be temporary or until it no longer suits her purpose. I'm more reserved and careful.

5.)She showed me that everyone isn't going to act in the most civilized manner possible.

Thanks for

1. Thanks for helping me to see that I cannot be friends with everyone in the world, and that the world is not going to end just because someone is talking badly about me to other people.

2. Thank you helping me learn to accept that I have no control over some situations and that its no biggie. As long as I do my best, what other people do is their problem.

3. Thank you for helping me to see that I'm actually not such a bad person and that I can hold my head up high.

4. Thanks for helping me toughen up and learn to believe in myself more.

I actually sent her a list like this a couple of years ago, funny huh...

1. Thank you for forcefully teaching me to be more patient than time itself.

2. Thank you for teaching me that I CAN'T get along with and please everyone, and that sometimes it's more important to do what's right for ME.

3. Thank you for helping me to become less naive about the trustworthiness and motives of others.

4. Thank you for teaching me to watch all of my credit reports and private accounts like a hawk. While originally it was to keep the BM out of them, I have avoided unwanted fees and court battles over collections that were not legitimate.

5. Thank you for showing BF that you truly can't "settle" for someone and be happy. Now he knows what true happiness is because he is with me, and he thanks me for showing him that.

6. Thank you for giving me something to talk about at work. The girls are always asking if there's been more drama with the BM lately.

7. Thank you for being so crazy that you drove me to find this website. I've made some great friends here. I truly believe that there have been times I would not have been able to make it through without this site.

8. Thank you for showing me how good of a person I truly am. I have only lately begun to realize that not everyone is good at heart, and not everyone has others' best interest in mind when they claim to. I am grateful to BM for having opened my eyes.

9. Thank you for bringing me closer to my parents. I appreciate and love them so much more, knowing that they loved and cared for me and raised me to be a strong, independent, intelligent, responsible woman. Without having BM to provide me with such stark contrast to myself, I would likely never have come to this realization.

I can't think of anything else that it positive, so I guess I should stop now

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

1. Against all odds, contributing 50% of the genes of a great kid.

2. For being a bossy mean and insensitive mother to her daughter, which as made my treating the girl with a little dignity and taking even a small interest in her life make ME look like the coolest person in the world.

3. For being such an ignorant loud mouth that no matter what the situation, I always come out looking like a million bucks in comparison.

4. I'm told she didn't always look like a mean troll doll, but gaining 75 pounds per pregancy and keeping it on well, let's just say here's ANOTHER avenue that I always come out looking like a million bucks, and am NEVER, EVER insecure as a result!

5. For leaving my fiance so he and i could find love together, and being such a horrible girlfriend to him, that he loves and appreciates how different than I am in every possible way.

Thanks for setting the bar so low, I can't help but be a goddess........lol......that really wasn't in the spirit....sorry....I will try again.......thanks for putting me through so much crap that I feel sometimes I can take on anything.......oh this isn't working....lol.....just kidding guys....I agree with all of you....

*Every town has an Elm Street*

all I can say is I am thankful that FH realized what a biatch his ex is/was and that she never failed to prove it over and over again.
did i do ok???

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

1. Being so blind to the great person she had in her life (my FDH) thus, ruining their marriage, giving me the opportunity to meet him & fall in love.
2. For refusing to "grow up". Her tantrums, although very annoying, show me how much I can control myself in times that I thought impossible. Also proving to myself that I have grown into a very respectful individual. I have never bitten my tongue this much in all my 30 yrs! lol
3. I sat here for about 15 mins trying my best to think of other nice things.. it's getting harder! LOL So, I'll stop here and add that I agree to pretty much everyone's above

Here's mine:

1. I would like to thank Bm for making me so upset that I felt the need to blog about it and hence create this website to help me and others.

2. Thanks for showing me that you don't have to actually give birth to be a good parent.

3. Thanks for being such a crappy house keeper that Dh thinks our house is immaculate.

4. Thank you for being so lazy that you would sooner let ss live with us than to make the effort to better yourself and your lifestyle.

Dawn

I can't think of any more original to add (you may all gasp at Sita's loss for words!)

So I will simply acknowledge my favorites that I couldn't have said better myself-

"Thanks for setting the bar so low, I can't help but be a goddess"
"Thanks for leaving my husband"
"I appreciate and value the healthy relationships in my life and don't hesitate to share that with friends and love ones."
"Thanks for helping me to see that I cannot be friends with everyone in the world, and that the world is not going to end just because someone is talking badly about me to other people."

And the NUMBER ONE (I think...)

"Thank you for being so crazy that you drove me to find this website. I've made some great friends here. I truly believe that there have been times I would not have been able to make it through without this site."

Love to you my beautiful Step Sistas!

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

Ummm

Bm,

Thank you for having "the grass is greener on the other side" mentality and discarding my BF for such. It's taken some time, but he's realizing he's stonger than he ever thought possible and someone can care about him without wanting something from him. Thanks for setting him free.

Hope it bites you in the a**...

Oops. Guess I'm done.

"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
Dorothy Parker, 'But the One on the Right,' in New Yorker, 1929
US author, humorist, poet, & wit (1893 - 1967)

Thanks for making me look good just by being who you are.

Thanks for gaining 100 pounds while you were pregnant with SD, so that I looked really great by comparison.

Thanks for showing my husband what he didn't want so he could find what he did want (me).

thanks for:

being an inadequate mother so now i have to fix all your damage.
taking all our money.
trying to take more money.
giving up a man that is goodooking, loyal and sexy.
raising a child that is spoiled, pouty and self loathing.
not using birth control.

sorry, i'm bitter. maybe i'll feel differently in the morning.

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

BM caused me to grow up a little bit. She forced me to find an inner strength that I didn't know possible all the while causing me to tame the demon inside me that would have normally laid her out where she stood.

She has made me realize that no matter my efforts, some people are just jackasses.

So when the world can't help but compare her and I...I take solace in the fact that she now cowers in my shadow.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Thanks for screwing up so that I ended up with ALL of the things you tried to rob him of. In the divorce you took the house which you let go into foreclosure, you took his money, you took his peace of mind and some of his self-esteem.

You left the door open for me to come along and meet the man, fall madly in love, show him that he is wonderful and appreciated (thus building his self-esteem) and for us to live sometimes happily ever-after. I now have the house (bigger one), nicer cars, the kids that I didn't have to ruin my body for, nice vacations and the love and attention of a GREAT guy.

P.S.: It is not about the material things for me, but BM ONLY sees the material and tries to compete with us because of the things we have.

Yeah, we are looking at the glass as half full. When what every woman needs is a crazy, bipolar ex-peasant in the picture so that we can be fully appreciated and treated like the Queens we are.

Step Mother's Motto this week is:

You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.