Uhm yes I have the same exact problem my SD looks just like her mother and I do ask him all the time what the f was he thinking she is nasty and I don't mean her facial features alone her everything her manners or lack of her hygiene, her lack of couth, etc.... And my SD is 11 and looks like bubba with her stupid lip hanging out that is because her mother let her drink from a sippy cup and have a pacifier until she was over 5! Not to mention that she has her mothers lips that as with age the childs will also grow more unattractive as with the other facial traits that she has gotten from her mother ( at the childs 10th bday party her BM sister gave her a 8*10 pic of what everyone there thought was of the child, but it was a pic of the BM on her 10th birthday ) :barf: And yes she reminds me of her lying stupid mother , but that is just a minus for her later in life. I also have a daughter turning 1 and some times she looks a little like her ( around the mouth (not the lips )) and I cringe and then say there is no way that they can share that when she looks just like her mother , not to mention that the only trait that her rude ass mother wants the child to have from my husband is the " big breast" that run in his family and so you can see what as the mother her priority is for the child ugh I feel your pain }:)

I tried befriending the ex and it only led to horrible issues. She used everything against me, and against my husband. Didn't matter if I said our favorite color was blue. There would be a phone call screaming at my husband about wtf is he thinking having a favorite color of blue. It got so bad that four years ago, after spending 3 days crying about the awful things she said to me (once again) about how I don't care about the kids and blah blah blah. I said that's it. This was after years of picking up the kids, dropping them off (while my hubby worked shifts so they could see him when he got home), going to sporting events, music concerts, and countless other things. They were old enough to understand. If I could go back, I'd leave her alone, and if she was on fire, I wouldn't cross the street to pee on her to put her out.

But, I'm sure there are moms out there where this has worked.

As far as looking like the ex - that would be the oldest. And when she acts like the ex, I want to scream. The other two look like my hubby so they weren't allowed to stay home on the weekends - they HAD to come to our house. BM could've cared less about them when they were growing up. Different story now. Guess the ex realized that you can't be a supermom if you don't have the kids to pretend to dote on.
I'm hopeful that the antics of the BM will someday catch up to her. But, as time passes, my hope is dwindling!!

My SD looks just like her mother too! I of course, can't stand her mother. BM has no ambition in life, she's a friggin cow and she's literally the stupidest woman I've ever tried to carry on a conversation with. I couldn't be friends with her even if I didn't hate her so bad....she's stupid and I'm a college educated woman who tries to keep up with current events. We have absolutely nothing in common except SD and DH. I ask him all of the time how in the world he stayed married to her because she's an idiot and my husband is also an educated man who keeps up with current events. All he can say is "I was young." I took a picture of SD on the first day of school. I take one of all of them on the first day of every school year against the same wall. When I downloaded the picture I couldn't believe how much of a resemblance there was. I just have to ignore the fact that I hate BM so much and concentrate on loving SD because she is a part of my wonderful husband. *sigh* Sometimes that's easier said than done.

Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

I am realistic about the fact that my step kids have features of thier BM... as well as their father. I look at their faces everyday & love them more & more. They are beautiful children (inside & out). It's when I stop & think... I mean really think about it.... I may hate the woman who mothered them for all she has done to cause their problems as well as all the drama in our lives, but without her I wouldn't have 3 wonderful step kids to love everyday. Just wanted to bring the positive to counter the negative.

Ok, ok.... I just had a moment of insanity where I actually said something nice about my fiance's ex. We're all allowed 1 mistake, right? I'm alright now.... let's get back to reality & her b.s.

What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger!

Both of my SK's are beautiful.My SS is a very charming, funny,and a goodlooking young man,and he has had his eyes open from the very first day that his mom abandoned the family.He loves his mother, but she has stripped him of all respect that a son should have for his mother, and he refuses to allow her to manipulate him,she tried that in the beginning and he very swiftly told her how it would be,that if she ever tried that with him again,(or his family,once he is married)
she will never see him again.SD on the other hand is blind to the fact that mom is controlling her every move.I am just guessing here, but I think it stems from the abandonment issue, not once, but twice.(they were living with BM's parents)She had promised her everything under the sun to get her back, including promising BM would not get back together with the man she ran of with and married,just as soon as both divorces were final.we went on vacation,SD came too,when we returned,BM had run off with the same man AGAIN! not a note or anything. It just about destroyed SD.When she finally tracked her down it was to hear that she ran off because SD was driving her crazy, that it was all her fault! I know this because I was listening on the other line.It took everything in me to hold myself back.SD didn't want anything to do with BM until things went sour between her and 2nd hubby,(she could not stand the fact that HE had 4 other children,she harrassed them and BM,until they moved out of state,
just to get away from this woman) she then focused all of her manipulations onto getting SD back.I really do think SD is so mixed up inside,and terrified that BM will abandon her again if she doesn't do EVERYTHING BM wants her to do, her thoughts must be "I had better do everything she wants or she will throw me away again" for a man! Now,she is so engrained and molded into the perfect reflection BM wants,that now she has the same reputation that BM has.Even though SD is now grown,she still idolizes BM, when in fact, the one constant in SD's life has ALWAYS BEEN HER FATHER.He would lay down his life for SD,but all she ever does is take and continue to take. I really don't know if she will ever change.

hangingin

SS is spitting image of BM. It's just off putting because idk, I had a failed pregnancy  and ever since then those feelings of being "jealous" that he has a kid  with another woman have gotten pretty strong. The kid looks nothing like the father . When I see him I honestly think "why was he born and my kid wasn't?" I think I need therapy because it's very mean but that's just how I feel. I can't change those feelings. I won't act on them but they're there. 

It's also his personality. He is nothing like the father and it kills the father, he won't ever admit it but the kid has his moms sullen bitchy personality. It's like he's raising a kid that's got nothing from him and under terrible circumstances. Can't imagine anything more unpleasant tbh