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What SD15 Really needs to hear!

Roseybird's picture

Submitted by Roseybird on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 9:50am

SD15 texted DH asking about getting her 'hair done' this weekend when she comes. She really has no sense whatsoever. She doesn't even realize that the urine she left in her room stunk up my whole house. Well, my DH finally talked to SD15 about how nasty it was to do something like that. He told her it was disgusting and she owes everyone an apology. I was like 'Yeah, I'm going to count on that one.' Anyway, I am at a lost of words what to actually say to her when/if she does apologize. Here's what I had in mind:

"SD15 that was the most disgusting thing you have ever done. How nasty are you. How disgusting are you. You make me want to puke. I'm through with trying to be a positive person in your life. Keep going down the path you are going - the ending is not really pretty - Psych ward for LIFE, or either juvy (juvenille detention) until you are 18, then prison. You want to disrespect my house, my children, my husband - stay away. Stay with your BM and continue to be nasty, vindictive, evil, ugly, manipulative - keep that shit away from this home. Because I choose to obey my husband, I still allow you to come to my house after you tried to burn it down. Little do you know, I could go to the local police department, file a police report, and have your ass put in jail for attempted arson and endangerment of minor children. Trust me, I still haven't decided if I will do it or not, as you know I NEVER ACCEPTED your apology. Anyway, your best bet is to keep your distance from me. You see, I can get CRAZY too, and who knows what I would to do you if I have a flashback."

This is really how I feel...

Comments

Geema's picture

Submitted by Geema on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:36am

Wouldn't be awesome if their biodads did make them stay with BMs when they acted like total jerks around new family and other bio kids??? Let BMs deal with the drama they create. You have the right to stand up for yourself and your household and your other children too! I mean when the skids make it impossible to be around by trying to light the house on fire, I think you are more than justified. The manipulation, lies and psychotic games for constant attention have got to stop sometime. If biodad is too weak, then let him deal with it on his own. You've done everything you can for years and it has gotten nowhere. You shouldn't have to be subjected to the constant mental abuse and neither should your new baby. Try to take the higher ground and vent here though. Tell her she knows she has done things that are harmful to others, her own family. That you will not tolerate it in your house any longer, but you are willing to get her some help when and if she is ready. Sadly narcissistic people rarely ever admit the problem is with them. I remind my biodad when he makes up his usual excuses for SS that more than half of kids today have divorced parents and it is no excuse for skids to act like crazed psychos(I use gentler terminology with him, of course). It's almost the norm nowadays to be in a blended family. Why should DH reward this 15 year-old for being a creep to everyone around her with a new hairdo? Fifty percent of that money spent to pay for that expense is yours as you are the other half of the head-of-household.

Roseybird's picture

Submitted by Roseybird on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 12:14pm

No, he's not paying to get her hair done. Hopefully, she will now stay with BM this weekend and not come 'visit' us.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 2:44pm

I would just play dumb. Maybe show her the toilet-let her know that that is the proper place to urinate-show her how to flush. Then I would tell her that I got her a very special cup to drink all of her drinks out of when she's there and then I would produce the pee cup with her name taped to it.

Yme's picture

Submitted by Yme on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 3:01pm

UGH!!! My SD13 uses pee and poop games to manipulate our home!!!!! She will flat out urinate on the floor/on our laundry/in our drinking cups/and other disgusting things!!!! She has even pooped in her room and in our yard! I of course reported this behavior to her psych therapist and psych dr!!! She is on thin rope at our house and ALL I want is to protect my family...We already sleep with our bedroom doors locked as per her psych dr's advice...Just praying that she doesn't try to burn our home down althought I wouldn't put it past her.....BUT I WILL CALL THE COPS the very 1st time this happens!!! I realy thought I was the only one with a Skid with POTTY issues!!! No one knows nasty til they deal with this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roseybird's picture

Submitted by Roseybird on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 3:15pm

UGH! Yes, they are GROSS. I keep asking myself, who does things like this? Did you not learn manners? I guess I wouldn't have been as angry if I didn't have 2 young boys that was influenced by her behavior. Don't get me wrong, I am still pissed off, but more pissed off that my sons are around this stupid b*tch of a HALF sister. SD15 sees a psyc as well. But Lord, I pray for her if she ever does anything to hurt my boys. She thinks I am 'crazy' but she hasn't seen 'CRAZY' yet, mess with my boys!

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 3:11pm

That is flat out digusting. Pissing and pooping in their rooms as TEENAGERS!! I am truly sorry you have to deal with THAT nonsense!!!

Yme's picture

Submitted by Yme on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 3:49pm

My SD13 is bipolar with mixed other psych disorders...Genetics from the BM fuled by GUILT from the DH that KNEW the BM was PSYCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO has not made for a happy past 10 yrs!! He knew better!!!!!!!!!! GUILT GUILT GUILT!!!!
Best advice we have ever been given was in a parent only support group for parents with "challenging" kids....It was directed to my DH...another father told DH flat out that HE MUST make SD13 understand without a doubt that IF she EVER puts her hands on another member of our family that HE WILL call the cops and that SHE will be taken away....I thought "sure"...I doubted that DH "Heard" what he was being told...but SHOCK of SHOCKS during our very next family therapy meeting DH told SD13 in no uncertian terms that IF she EVER touched one of us of threatened to touch one of the family members HE WOULD call the deputies!!!!! SHOCK is all I can say.....That needs to come right from your DH but if he is unable to do that YOU need to make the ground rules CLEAR as DAY to your SD15!!! YOU have to stand up for your Babies!!! If damage comes to one of them you can never undo it!!
(DH is scared to death that I am leaving him after I put my foot down and made him believe "NO MORE"...so for the time being DH has really stepped up his game!! Thank God!)
BTW: I'm sooooooo glad you arent dealing with a poor helpless baby from your SD15.....Just one of God's little blessings!!