WHAT GOES AROUND.....
Hey my DH stopped cs and now is taking BM to court for cs, I bet she is pissed. In case you do not know, we have been in court for 2 years fighting for placement and we won, before it was every 3 days. Now DH does not have to pay her 150 a week like he has been for the past 2 years and she will have to pay us!!!! Eventhough I am suppose to stop reading her myspace I did the night she got served with court papers and it said, haha, isnt life just one big game? I am wondering what that is suppose to mean, because life is not a game, does she have something we dont know. I know she applied the courts decision and now we wait to see if the courts listen to her appile. But in order to re do the case there has to be evidence we lied and or something unlawful done, which it was a 2 year court battle what can she claim?? I know I should stop worring and enjoy life and for the most part I am, but I just cant believe how well she is taking it. I think she is happy to live the single life but still be able to call herself a mom, she goes out with her friends all the time, I guess that should make me happy, I need to want her to be happy so I can move on, I feel like a break up and it will take me 3 years to get over her.
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She will have to pay
probably no where near what you had to pay--BMs never do, but anything is better than having to pay out.
Is that honestly how
Is that really how you look at parenting...getting back at one another and paybacks? That's not what parenting is about! I can't tell you how many times I would have loved to "pay back" my ex for the nonsense he has put us through, but it's not right.
I agree 110%!
"Putting the kids in the middle is ABUSIVE. But laughing your ass off when the shoe is on the other foot is LIBERATING. Don't like it? Be nice to those who may be change places with you one day..."
What these women are doing is abuse, plain and simple. I know I've said this before but PAS should be a crime that, if committed, comes with SEVERE consequences and it's a shame that it's not.
BM is supposed to pay us CS. DH paid her CS when she had custody so it's only fair that she now pay him CS because we have custody. It's only fair.
Agreed
It is only fair. I don't think Danyelle was off by saying payback is a B. It is, it's supposed to be. BM can't moan and groan about CS when that was all she was about getting before. Now she will have to suffer the financial struggle that she put the others through. I don't think any of Danyelles comments were about parenting.
Rosedeer
I hope you come to a place soon where you have no desire to read her myspace. That must be hard because if my SD's BM had one where she wrote about me it would be awful tempting. I think it's completely normal to feel some sense gratification after all you have been through. I remember that feeling all too well. I got the call at 4 pm from DH's atty that BM had conceded the night before we finally had a real trial date after almost a year of playing pre-trial poker b/c DH was in a conference call at work. The atty said in a very pleased (yes perhaps smug- he is a SF too) "SHE'S CAAAAAVING!"
We were actually a little disappointed to not have the opportunity of watching her grilled in court, or given notice she would need a psych eval (likely why she caved- so she would have to get one.)
It's a normal feeling. Embrace, indulge, enjoy, and rejoice. Then find some healthy closure and have the best "revenge" in you getting to live day to day without her occupying your mind every minute!
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
hopefully in our case she will have to pay...
It hasn't gone to the first hearing....due to delays and the depositions are this coming week. BM won't know what hit her. She can't help to lie it is in her nature. BM lowers her income to qualify for state benefits and get a big tax return even though she makes money. The attorney is going after her potential and in our state you can. If she chooses to go to work (instead of using the kids,her pretend illness getting out of work) then she makes a lot more than what her tax returns say......which she either lied in bankruptcy court...she filed this year...or in this case.....
BM makes more on the hour than DH so this hopefully won't be the situation....its not like she makes less. There's a formula.
not as awful-sounding as you think
BM has done exactly that to my BF for years. I will relish being able to do it to her. I hate that everyone wants to feel sorry for the unfit BM but loves to crucify a deadbeat dad.
i just had this conversation last night
In the hopes of keeping the peace and making things go as quickly as possible, we are asking no CS from BM for SD. BM flat out said she would not pay, and since she opts not to work, what can we do? Anyway, I was talking about this with BM's dad, and I said "if FH and I had a baby and he decided to stay home with the baby, do you think ANY judge would sign off on him not paying CS to BM, even if she agreed to it???" NO WAY! But that's exactly what we're asking a judge to do, cause POOR BM can't be expected to contribute anything to the raising of her daughter right? She doesn't feel like she should have to either.
I'm just interested to see if we get the CS back from the last month she's been living here. A decent human being would have sent a check, I mean, god forbid SHE actually pay us, but at least she could pay back the CS we are currently automatically paying her for the kid living with us(yeah right).
Oh to be as evil as BM, I would love to send SD to BM for every extra, sports equipment, field trip money, new clothes for school, school supplies, EVERYTHING, just like she did to us. No point though, she'll just tell SD too bad.
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
Call CS and inform them of the case
I forget- has there been any court activity yet? If the case is active on the dockets you can request the CS be impounded until the case if final. They will still withdraw it, but put it in account and not distribute it to BM. Then once the ruling occurs and is filed they send the money back to FH. Now we didn't do that until BM conceded, but they went ahead and withheld into an acct until the final order was filed. It took a little while to get it back, but by the time she conceded she was barely seeing SD for a few months. So it was better to know BM wasn't collecting at least.
I hope the judge rules CS regardless of your willingness to forgo it.
Not sure if this varies state to state/county to county. But it's worth a shot.
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
I live in NY and my state
I live in NY and my state does the same thing, they are holding the cs we pay bm until the final order is in, then dh will get it back and then she will have to start paying us. I dont care if anyone thinks it is awful I agree with most of you and she gave birth and should have to pay. My dh had to pay 150 a week for the past 2 years and they had split custody and split placement, but since he made so much more than her he still had to pay, no we have placement so she better have to pay, I do not care if she can afford it or not, I guess she will have to stop going out all the time and buying cars and new clothes!!!