I have been the SM of 4 boys for tens years now. They are all grown now. Over the last ten years, 3 of them lived with me and their dad.

Long story short, the youngest 2 have been a struggle to endure. Even now as twenty-something young men, I dread when they call their dad; it nearly always ends in arguments because we won't support them financially. They also, on nearly any occassion, blame me for their inability to get help from their dad. (The oldest son and I get along great, by the way. He's responsible, successful, rational, not on drugs, etc.)"

The younger 2 are nightmares in my book and I have a hard time 1) staying objective when they call and curse out their dad and 2) not sounding like the "wicked step mom" when I point out to dad what they do to him. I run the gammet of emotions from total indifference to sheer disgust.

When they were under our roof, I supported them, nutured them, stuck up for them, scolded them, was everything I thought a mom should be. But now, I'm just so embarrassed to even claim them as my own, which they are the closest thing to my own that I will have.

Is anyone else out there with a similar situation? Or am I on the far end of the spectrum of normal family life?