D.O.N.E. Done!!!!
So, some of you know that DH and I have been having problems with SD and her treatment for depression and ADHD. She has been refusing to take her medication, at first saying she just forgot, then finally coming out and saying that she was purposefully not taking them. Her behavior issues got terribly bad and she became very irrational and paranoid. We talked to her psychologist about it at a recent appointment and came up with yet another strategy for getting SD to take her meds. DH is supposed to be giving them to her and watching her take them every morning. That lasted 3 days. Now, he is leaving her notes on the bathroom mirror. Today, I walked into the bathroom to see the note still hanging on the mirror and today's pills still in their slot in the pill box. WTF! Is it really too much to ask of DH to take the two minutes, at the most, that it would take to get her damn pills and glass of water, take them up to her room and watch her take them on his way out the door for work? Geez friggin' Louise!! Is it wrong that I think this should be DH's responsibility? She is his kid. They both get up, or at least she is supposed to get up, before 7 am to get ready for work and school. I am still in bed at this time as I stay up late every night for school. And, again, she is HIS kid! I am fed up with her crap, and I refuse to be the one that has to treat her like a preschooler because she no longer wants to have to listen to anyone other than herself. She has turned into a lying, manipulative, disrespectful little brat and I am so tired of putting up with her crap. I have tried and tried to talk to her about the importance of taking her meds and how much it helps her when she does. I have also recently found out that she is not eating breakfast or lunch because she thinks she is fat, which she isn't. I have dealt with eating disorders in my own life and I have seen what can happen when they take control. I have talked to her about it many times before and she just doesn't want to hear it. I just don't know what else to do. I am frustrated and sick of the drama she keeps bringing into our lives. I know she is a teenager and that is part of the deal, but I was never like this as a teenager. I have asked my parents about her behavior and they never dealt with anything like it from me or my sisters, so I do not think this is all just typical teenage crap. Calgon! Take me away!
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Comments
If your SD is on depression
If your SD is on depression meds, it is extremely important that she takes them EVERY DAY. You can't mess around with them. I would call her doc and let him/her know that SD is not taking them every day and what repercussions it has for her mental health.
You are correct, it is not asking a lot for your DH to take one minute of his morning to make sure his daughter takes the medication she needs to stay well. And it is not YOUR responsibility- it is HIS. And notes don't work- he has to SEE her swallow the pills. (Doesn't he know that she could easily take them to school and SELL them if she wanted to? Dumbass.)
As for the eating issues- do NOT push them with her. I have THREE SDs. They are ALL majorly weight-obsessed and have body issues, even though they are pencil thin. And it's all due to their BM, so there is NOTHING I can do about it. All I can do is offer healthy food choices while they are here and show them that it's actually "ok" to eat as a woman and to have "curves" (and I'm a six 6). The less you get "in her face" about it, the better- just lead by your good example.
Eating disorders are a form
Eating disorders are a form of control for some. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am dealing with the eating thing and medication for ADHD for my SS10. SS10 is actually hoarding food in his room and not eating, he is underweight and under height for his age. He is also hiding the meds he is supposed to take to BM's in his room. Good luck with it all. And I agree with you, its HIS kid, not yours. DH should be making sure that your SD gets her meds. It is also not safe to let these kids take meds on their own. I know of 2 kids that overdosed and died from taking too much of thier meds (and these kids were trusted to take the right doses on thier own).
I think I've met your SD. And
I think I've met your SD.
And your DH. At least their universal twins.
Pace yourself. I would highly recommend going to a counselor for yourself to deal with letting go of all this stress on you for things that unfortunately we have no control over as SMs.
I don't know if you know my history or not, but these kind of issues led to the end of my marriage.
Good luck and many hugs your way.
Thanks. I am making an
Thanks. I am making an appointment with my dr. to try and get referred to the therapist on staff so I can try to work on my stress and things. My DH is usually in agreement with me about things as long as I talk to him about it. Sometimes I am worried that he will get upset with what I say or how I feel about something, but he is always so understanding when I actually come out and just say what I have to say. I don't give him enough credit most of the time. I am really hoping that things with SD will get better, but I'm not going to hold my breath. She is so damaged from things that her BM has done that I don't think she will ever be able to completely get past it.