Haven't been on here for a while and too be honest I'm grateful the kid isn't a terror lol
but he is a pain in the buns some times.
I haven't really spoken with his dad in depth about the difficulties I have with engaging with his son since I have given myself permission to not worry about it. After I found this site and had some feed back, I decided I am not horrible for not loving this kid like my own or going over the top, crying for days in attempt to try to be smof the year.
I do the basics - yep lazy I know, but its the only way I can stay sane and not over think everything.
I make food, turn the tv on or have him read a book and take him along with me to see my mom (he really likes seeing her). I even listen to his rambles and pointless questions, even if its the same topic all weekend (but being a kid, he doesn't have much to talk about). I make sure his room is clean, teeth are brushed and he's dressed. and the most important part - he's alive lol
After we drop him off I will tell his dad what I have on my mind that has been bothering me and he listens and nods along. Weather he listens or cares is on him. I made a point to verbally express my thoughts so I can say it vs harboring it and my guy does a good job accepting it. I just have to remember that communicating with him about how I feel is the main thing - if we aren't on the same page or understand each other then we aren't working as a team.
we get him this weekend and I am trying to let it be a fact vs a feeling (like dread, going to jail, etc...) lol
last time we had him my guy let him play a video game that his dad nor I have played in over a year, it isn't a bad game so I didn't care, we honestly didn't think he would like it, BUT HE DID - so when this kid had questions about anything and everything he asked...and asked....and asked. it didn't do any good to tell him 'I don't remember s8 - I haven't played it in a while.'
he told me that his day care had a college thing and the speaker told the class 'if you have a question, ask it.' IDIOT I want to slap that guy. I understand what he is saying but some kids will end up like Jim Carrey in say yes movie. taking it seriously, like a dare. I was at a point where I wanted to go in my bathroom, lock the door and just stand by myself, not talking, for like 10 minuets lol.
on top of that certain things are getting worse, like his bad habit of interrupting when you're talking to someone and ''looking'' like it was an accident when you look annoyed, at this point you have to stop what you're saying ask what he wants to say, nod along or answer, then go back to the original conversation. I want to get up and walk slowly away lol I address it and tell him to stop because its rude. it only works for an hour :/ plus, other habits are forming! (this one is on his dad to nip). he starting wearing nothing but
his under where around the house! ewww!! (his dad is at work) If he can get away with it then I'm going to start doing it too! his dad doesn't even walk around our house with his undies on.
this kid KNOWS better!!
I wish he would think.
we went to a book store and he came up with 3 books that were below his reading level. my mother and I tried to tell him to get something more challenging, but he doesn't want to. one of the books was a flat out NO, it was about game characters and their stats (not a book!!). we shrugged our shoulders and got the other two. then when we were dropping him off and he asked me help for a word his dad caught a look at the book and asked if it was new. 'yeah..' 'S8- why did you get a book with 10 word on a page, next time, you're getting a real book.' 'it is a real book, it has more than 10 words on a page.. see?' (didn't work, one point for me lol).
I will say this, a cute moment. my mother, ss and I were in a store walking and s8 randomly tells my mom ' I am surprised you're not dating anyone ''name,'' you're a great person.' SEE he does have a good heart!! or he's learning how to manipulate to get what he wants.... (you never know) till we can confirm if any motive exists, I'm gunna call that moment sweet.
Comments
Haven't been on here for a
Haven't been on here for a while and too be honest I'm grateful the kid isn't a terror lol
but he is a pain in the buns some times.
I haven't really spoken with his dad in depth about the difficulties I have with engaging with his son since I have given myself permission to not worry about it. After I found this site and had some feed back, I decided I am not horrible for not loving this kid like my own or going over the top, crying for days in attempt to try to be smof the year.
I do the basics - yep lazy I know, but its the only way I can stay sane and not over think everything.
I make food, turn the tv on or have him read a book and take him along with me to see my mom (he really likes seeing her). I even listen to his rambles and pointless questions, even if its the same topic all weekend (but being a kid, he doesn't have much to talk about). I make sure his room is clean, teeth are brushed and he's dressed. and the most important part - he's alive lol
After we drop him off I will tell his dad what I have on my mind that has been bothering me and he listens and nods along. Weather he listens or cares is on him. I made a point to verbally express my thoughts so I can say it vs harboring it and my guy does a good job accepting it. I just have to remember that communicating with him about how I feel is the main thing - if we aren't on the same page or understand each other then we aren't working as a team.
we get him this weekend and I am trying to let it be a fact vs a feeling (like dread, going to jail, etc...) lol
last time we had him my guy let him play a video game that his dad nor I have played in over a year, it isn't a bad game so I didn't care, we honestly didn't think he would like it, BUT HE DID - so when this kid had questions about anything and everything he asked...and asked....and asked. it didn't do any good to tell him 'I don't remember s8 - I haven't played it in a while.'
he told me that his day care had a college thing and the speaker told the class 'if you have a question, ask it.' IDIOT I want to slap that guy. I understand what he is saying but some kids will end up like Jim Carrey in say yes movie. taking it seriously, like a dare. I was at a point where I wanted to go in my bathroom, lock the door and just stand by myself, not talking, for like 10 minuets lol.
on top of that certain things are getting worse, like his bad habit of interrupting when you're talking to someone and ''looking'' like it was an accident when you look annoyed, at this point you have to stop what you're saying ask what he wants to say, nod along or answer, then go back to the original conversation. I want to get up and walk slowly away lol I address it and tell him to stop because its rude. it only works for an hour :/ plus, other habits are forming! (this one is on his dad to nip). he starting wearing nothing but
his under where around the house! ewww!! (his dad is at work) If he can get away with it then I'm going to start doing it too! his dad doesn't even walk around our house with his undies on.
this kid KNOWS better!!
I wish he would think.
we went to a book store and he came up with 3 books that were below his reading level. my mother and I tried to tell him to get something more challenging, but he doesn't want to. one of the books was a flat out NO, it was about game characters and their stats (not a book!!). we shrugged our shoulders and got the other two. then when we were dropping him off and he asked me help for a word his dad caught a look at the book and asked if it was new. 'yeah..' 'S8- why did you get a book with 10 word on a page, next time, you're getting a real book.' 'it is a real book, it has more than 10 words on a page.. see?' (didn't work, one point for me lol).
I will say this, a cute moment. my mother, ss and I were in a store walking and s8 randomly tells my mom ' I am surprised you're not dating anyone ''name,'' you're a great person.' SEE he does have a good heart!! or he's learning how to manipulate to get what he wants.... (you never know) till we can confirm if any motive exists, I'm gunna call that moment sweet.