Crazy BM is trying to stop me from picking up SD from school
We found out today that BM took my name off SD's school pickup list. So what is her reason for taking my name off? "I don't know her. She's not picking up my child." You don't want to know me you idiot and you have made it perfectly clear for 5.5 years! We have 50% custody so what we do is not your business hooker!
I like how she just wants to pretend that I don't take care of SD, like I don't put clothes on her back, food in her mouth and a roof over her head. She is so selfish and self centered that she will use her child to prove the point that she is angry. YES WE GET IT YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU ARE FRIGGIN MISERABLE AND NO MAN WANTS YOUR PSYCHO ASS!!!! The whole world knows, so shut your damn mouth and mind your business!!!!
Anyway, sorry for the turrets, DH just simply had me added back to the list. I'm sure on our next week custody, the dumbass will have it removed again. I swear, if she isn't busy spreading STD's, she has to find another way to spread misery to the world. The most ironic thing about the whole situation, is that when SD was small, BM had her boyfriends picking up SD from daycare. But that's ok!
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OMG.. I would be livid!!!
OMG.. I would be livid!!! What did the school say when your dh called them to have you added??
PSYCHO!! isnt your last name the same as sd?
They said there was nothing
They said there was nothing they could do to keep her from taking names off, but there is nothing she can do to keep DH from putting names on. So it'll just be like ping pong. The lady at the office said to DH "Yeah, there is something wrong with her (BM), but there was nothing we could do." So everyone knows she is a douche!
Yes. This is another point that I hate, she and DH were married for 1 year, and 6 years later, she still has his last name. So unfortuantely we have the last name until someone marries her, which nobody will because she is PSYCHO!!!!
Thanks for listening to my ranting lol
Your DH can put you back on
Your DH can put you back on and explain to the school that it is his wish that you remain on the list. She really can't stop you from picking the kid up if that is what your DH has directed.
I know she can't stop me,
I know she can't stop me, but she is always doing her best to cause drama. Here is the other nice thing, she threw her shit fit at the school when SD was there with her. And then threw out some choice words about me to SD for god knows how long.
The pettiness of some BM's
The pettiness of some BM's is stupefying. So she doesn't do her job as a postive role model, but will harp on something stupid, as if that's what makes her a good parent. She's being petty at her child's expense. A child should be able to count on stability. This woman sounds like a real mess. I can see why you are so angry.
"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."
Thanks CL, it helps that I
Thanks CL, it helps that I now have people that understand how frustrating it all is!!! I wish I would have found this place and all of you sooner.
Hey there rainbow.bright.
Hey there rainbow.bright.
My stepdaughters' mom not only would not allow my name on the pickup list. She took DH's off the list and listed her boyfriend of three months in the father column.
Her reason? Perhaps to cause the drama you speak of. Perhaps because she is threatened. Perhaps it was to make her new boyfriend feel important. I really am not quite sure.
Was I mad? Sure. It's typical of her though. I also know that me getting all riled up will give her that which she wants. Me all riled up.
I won't give her the power to ruin anymore than that initial instance of shock. Then I lay it down, and remedy the situation and go about my day.
I've wasted more than my fair share of time trying to understand why she does some of the things she does. I try not to take it personally. You said it yourself, your husband's exwife doesn't even know you and she hates you. So that tells me that she hates the IDEA of you than the actual person. She is struggling in her own way with you being part of her child's life. Is she right? Heck no, but try to understand this has so much to do with her and her own insecurities than it ever does with you as a person.
Save your energy and time for the beauty in this life instead of the madness and darkness of one lost soul. Perhaps she will follow your lead when there is no more reaction on your part.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Thanks CG! I have to say I
Thanks CG! I have to say I love your insight. Fortunately, she has no idea that any of the things she has done over the years bother me, because she and I don't talk and DH doesn't speak to her anymore because of the potential for conflict. DH and I just bitch to eachother about her. And now I can bitch to all of you and you all make me feel sooooo much better!!! I love it here!
With much love coming your
With much love coming your way...
She knows. She wouldn't do it otherwise... and regardless of whether or not she knows it... you ARE all riled up.
She wins in that instant.
She's accomplished covering you in all her anger, pain and frustration because you are left feeling the same. It takes more than just a venting session to shower that off.
I'll leave you alone after this, but this bitching of yours is only a temporary relief. To free yourself of being affected by such pettiness, you have to delve inside and learn to expect what she throws your way.. learn that you are the key to releasing yourself from your own frustration.
Much love to you and yours.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
She wins a lot. I win
She wins a lot. I win ultimately because all in all, she is the only dark spot in my life. And I can fix that, at least I hope I can over time. If I can just get to the point of NOT CARING!!!!
You can fix it. You hold
You can fix it.
You hold the power in the palm of your hand.
You have to want it though. You have to want not being angry more than anything else.
In that moment, forgiveness and understanding will reign. Indifference soon to follow.
As Yoda says.. anger is the path to the darkside.
Don't give into the hate or you'll never be released from it.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
OMG...what a flippin' pain
OMG...what a flippin' pain that BM is. I would be fumming mad!
I would suggest something...perhaps the school could look into implementing a rule that any parent/gardian that suggests his/her spouse for pickup/drop off their child is the only one that can remove that spouse from the list. By being married to a parent makes you an equal guardian of the child....ie...she wouldn't be able to remove DH from list therefore she can't remove you. Then, if the ex attempts again to remove you the administrative staff can direct her to your DH regarding the matter. I'm sure the school would love this idea...and its fact driven so I think it would be an logical rule to make.
Have you ever heard of a BM
Have you ever heard of a BM were the schools administration gets a restraining order on her? Yup, that happened with skids BM. Obviously they saw what a wack job she was and she tought she had the power to talk down to some people and the principal said no more. How embarrasing is that...?
If BM were to ever do that to us (if she was in the same state has us) my SO and his attorney would rip her a new you know what! (Figuratively speaking of course)
CP
LOL that is hilarious
LOL that is hilarious though. I bet you got a good laugh after that happened!
You are right though, I think we are going to have to talk to our lawyer. AGAIN. It's so rediculous that she can't do something as simple as shut her gd mouth and mind her own business. How hard is it?
Yep... had that one happen
Yep... had that one happen too.... she cursed the school administrator out when she couldn't get her way. First got hi kicked out of that school. I managed to get him back in... so long as BM never set foot on their property. She then started making harassing phone calls (and her mom as well). Got him kicked out for good that time. She is a piece of work I tell ya. Sounds like BM in your case is as well.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
STD's... taking your name
STD's... taking your name off the pick up list as school. Are you sure you aren't just copy and pasting my old posts
I have the exact same issues. I have learned over the years to just take a deep breath and understand that I can't control her. She is going to be crazy no matter what kind of sense ANYONE trys to talk in to her. It sucks... and it causes accute cases of turrets. Trust me, I FREAKING UNDERSTAND.
Hold your head up high... be the best parent you can be, and who cares what she thinks. She is nuts anyways.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
HA! Oh I wish I was copying!
HA! Oh I wish I was copying! Wow, so we have the same kind of BM. I don't understand how the world continues to spin with this kind of nastiness.
I feel like I've finally gotten to the point where reasoning and trying to be sensible with her do not work. Unfortunately, I cannot stop the turrets and murderous daydreams when she spews her psycho into trying to control my life with my DH and my SD. If I could just be neutral and not give a crap that would be great. Any helpful advice there?
I am afraid you won't fund
I am afraid you won't fund much advise from me on being neutral and not giving a crap. I just can't seem to do that. I have; however, gotten a little better at the self control. I have had this problem with just calling BM and telling her how stupid she is when she does these things. It has caused some pretty nasty battles. While, the way I see it, it was her stupid move in the first place that caused the nasty battle, of course it was my fault for voicing my opinion. SOOOOO... now I pick my battles. She is very controlling with SS's teacher. She does NOT want me communicating with her. So, I (as I do with all of my kids) send the teacher emails rather than stop in to talk to her. I just keep it a little more quiet than she does that I have open communication with his teacher. That way she doesn't jump my case about overstepping my boundaries. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. And I am the one that monitors grades and homework and such in our house.
Like I said... choose your battles. She often makes an already bumpy road, compleletly unbearable... but that is just who she is, I can't change her.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
That is exactly what it is!
That is exactly what it is! She can do whatever she wants, but has a shit fit over the dumbest crap. Drives me up the wall.
Great thoughts there, we are going to go ahead and have that done. Damn lawyers, they charge so much to write a stupid letter!!!
Does the school have a copy
Does the school have a copy of the custody order? Your H could give it to them and tell them that you are not to be removed ever again. Maybe it would help or at least let the staff know what a crazy person she is.
No they don't have the new
No they don't have the new one yet. It basically just says DH shares half and half custody, rotating weeks, and neither parent is the 'primary residential parent'. So you think that will help? Providing that?
It can't hurt.
It can't hurt.
We had it added to the
We had it added to the custody paperwork. No one is to adjust school transportation rights without the approval of the otehr parent. Meaning, she can't just add and remove who can and can't pick him up, without DH's approval, and vice versa. She has had some shady boyfriends that we don't want SS riding in the car with (DUI's etc..) we didn't want her adding just anyone to that list, OR taking me off... again and again, like she did in the beginning. I have so much paperwork from that. Which is why the judge approved the clause in the custody paperwork. Made her look stupid and hormonal.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
(No subject)
Well unfortunately if we
Well unfortunately if we tried to do that she would not approve DH to put anyone on the list, and would not approve me to be on the list for certain.
BTW, SD has told me and DH that "Mommy picked me up from school drunk." She also has a DUI from before SD was born. But we were told there is no evidence and she didn't get caught unfortunately.
I wish she would fall of the earth. I don't ask for much.
I hear ya, trust me! I have
I hear ya, trust me! I have begging and bargained with God to no avail. She is still here... Sad that the child KNOWS how to tell mommy is drunk. I don't know that my kids would recognize that... then again we are pretty silly sober, so they would probably assume we were just being silly.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
BTW I just don't understand
BTW I just don't understand what is wrong with some of these BMs. Who gives a shit who picks up the kids on BF custody days--as long as they have a license. It is soooo dumb.
I used to think the same
I used to think the same thing until BM's boyfriend got pulled over and arrested for a DUI with SS in the car. Then we started caring who he was in the car with at ALL times. There are certain circumstances that I can understand. Spite is not one of them though!
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
My stepsons' mother would
My stepsons' mother would keep them on the phone for a good 20 min or send them to walk the dogs when I went to pick them up. They are just Psychos...oh well.