Bm's have balls don't they....
I am always in awe of how BM has the nerve to say and request some of the things that she does. She never ceases to amaze me.
On Wed. H picked SS for the one night a week visit we get. BM starts off with why does Mrs. Teacher have a line for you to sign SS report card. H says well I guess it is so that she will know that I saw it. BM then says well his grades are none of your business!!!! WHAT? He is my business when you need money or SS is acting out but I am not privy to know his grades. Your CRAZY! Then she says why is it that all of these Holidays are falling on your weekend(if Monday after or Friday b4 visitation weekend is school holiday the visitation is extended)? H said what do you mean Martin Luther King day she said not just that but all of them so you need to think about alternating those days with me!!! again WHAT???? we are figthing you for more time and you expect us to give up the extended day we have with him because you said(not really she is hateful to the core when she tells us not asks us)! She calls H yesterday afternoon after she has picked SS up and tells H that SS better be back at her house by 6 Sunday or else!!! WHAT??? are you threatning me? It just so happens that the school holidays as well as Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor day will be on our weekends this year. I just cannot grasp her actually expecting us to alternate those holidays with her when she has had SS past 3 years for Halloween the past 3 years for Christmas morning the past 3 years for all of Thanksgiving excpet 2 hours in the afternoon. I cannot grasp her actually thinking H would give up the time with his son...he is taking her back to court for more time why would he give current time up?
BM has had to answer the discovery questions finally and I believe she is getting worried as the discovery asks her a lot of stuff she knows she is guilty of and states direct excerts from our documentation of things that SS has said about what goes on there. She never has anything bad to say about H and I except that we try to be perfect parents. We are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. She is mad cause when we see SS and he is down and out we ask what is wrong and he spills the beans and she has told him not to tell us anything. Now we do ask when he is down what is wrong and he tells us and we talk to him about it. H comforts him when he tells us something crazy that BM does as H knows her better than anybody and knows she is CRAZY.
I feel so bad for SS. He leads 2 different lives. When he is with us he is always cheery, picking and playing and loving and only time he walks on bottom lip is when he has gotten in trouble. When we pick him up at BM's it is like he is nervous wreck: bitting his nails, pacing the floor, scratching his head and dark circles under his eyes. He is spitting image of his mom when we go and get him. When we get home he tries so hard to love and play but usually falls asleep within 2 or 3 hours.
everybody please pray for us and my SS that we get the extra time with him we are asking for so he can have a more consistent sense of normalcy in his life other than 1 day a week and every other weekend.
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My heart
and prayers go out to you guys!!! He is so lucky to have 2 people in his life that do really care about what he needs and feels. Keep at it.. he knows he is loved!
My SS lives 2 extremely
My SS lives 2 extremely different lives too. He has this really lazy/party-all-the-time mom. When we get him on Fridays, he looks like, well, a poor kid. We ask him when he last showered and he'll say something like,"Oh not that long ago, Tuesday!" I think his mom's goal in life is for him to be some awesome little skateboarder guy. That's not him at all. He is a studious, nerdy, smart kid, who is slightly feminine. But at Mom's house he pretends he loves skateboards and he can't even stand on one. He comes over here, actually showers and looks clean, and puts on nice neat clothes and it's just a different child with totally different interests. He wants to be on the computer and play golf (his dad, my DH, is a golf pro). Not one word about skateboarding or anything like it. They had to do an "All About Me" poster for school, and he put ALL skateboarding stuff on it. It's so sad. He knows his life is completely different at each parent's house and he pretends accordingly. I can't help but believe that over here he is a litte more actually him, since he can't stand on a skateboard, has never once brought over a skateboard, or mentioned one in any way.
Hi Crayon
I just read your response above and I am laughing so loud at my desk about the stupidest thing on 2 legs. I needed that laugh today!
Ditto for SS. Two different lives in two different Galaxies.
We are fortunate that rather than EOW(E) SS does three visitations per year totaling 7wks. (5wks summer, ~1wk Winter, 1wk spring)
SS comes back rather harried, haggard and depressed because all he hears about is how THEY (BioDad and SPermGrandMa) can't afford to pay his CS (BioDad does not pay a cent, GrandMa and GrandPa do) and how it is not fair that his StepDad (that would be me) is rich and gives him things that he does not deserve and that his half sibs (the youngest three of BioDad's four illegitimate spawn) do not get the nice things that SS gets.
SS undertands very clearly that I am not rich and that the level of privilege that he, his mom and I enjoy is a direct result of the combined team work of two professional parents with a combined two undergrad degrees, two graduate degrees and two professional certifications and an ongoing life time of diligence and hard work.
But noooo, to the SpermIdiots SS and my wife are just lucky that Mom married a rich guy. For them it is never about preparation, hard work, good decisions, diligence and accomplishment. It is about how they are always the victims of an evil boss, an unfair system, an evil repossessing/foreclosing bank, an overbearing CPS that takes all of their money to give to the evil mothers of BioDad's four out of wedlock children....... Wah, wah waaaaaaaaaa And my wife and SS are just lucky. The lucky man is he who knows how much to leave to chance and luck is where opportunity meets preparation. They totally miss the part about being accountable for their own actions.
Hmmmm, does it ever dawn on them that if BioDad would keep his Johnson in his jeans and actually worked full time as a plumber rather than chasing skirts, dumping all of his money in to his low-rider, and spending part of nearly every work day playing video games that he could provide a decent life for himself and his existing children? Nawwww, that would mean that the poor situation that BioDad is in is his own fault and the result of a truly notable level of crappy parenting by the BioPaternalGrandParents ........ and that would never do.
Grrr!
Best regards,