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If only I would have known

rainbow bright83's picture

If I could go back in time and warn myself of how much of a nightmare having step kids is..... I can almost picture the PERFECT family. Don't get me wrong, I hear amazing stories of blended families and I am even envious of it. My husband is the step parent to my older son. I am the step "parent" of my husbands two terrible little demons. The oldest one (who is 18) is by far the worst. Even when she was younger she was a lying, thieving, manipulative brat.
You see, she was 10yrs old when she first decided she didn't want to live with us (me and my husband), so she called CPS and reported to them that I was using Meth, and that we worked her like a slave on my grandparents farm. I was about 6 months pregnant and the whole experience strained my marriage. My husband didn't want to believe that his daughter would do something like that so put the blame on his Ex-wife.
Then shortly after that I suspected his youngest daughter of being inappropriate with my son. I couldn't prove it, but about 2 years later she was caught in the schools bathroom molesting a younger girl. And again my Husband didn't want to believe it.
At this time, lets just say my marriage wasn't great.
Speed up to about 2 years ago. The older demon was again living with us (she flip flopped between the ex and our house a lot). She became pregnant (I had suspected and shared my suspicions with my Husband, which led to a huge fight), she miscarried right before a quick abortion could be scheduled due to her being in high school. About 5 months later she was pregnant again.
She quickly moved out and started telling people how abusive her father was and how he had nothing to do with her. She also would tell people that I threatened to stab her in the stomach if I saw the baby kick.
What?!?
Between pregnancies I had Prescription drugs stolen, many different guys in and out of my house while I was at work, money stolen, and needles found in my son's room. This was all brought up to my husband, every time it ended with a fight.
Present day, I have had to ban the older demon from my house. If she comes over she stays outside. She only contacts my husband when she wants something, which right now is a car. She shoplifts constantly.

The younger demon has ADHD (which my husband refuses to giver her her medication when she is here), is a compulsive liar, and a thief.

And yet after everything that I've had to endure because of these monsters and my husband's refusal to see the truth, I still have to suffer.
This is a blog that I have decided to start so I can vent. This is my therapy in a way; so that I can be heard.

Comments

whatwasithinkin's picture

can I ask you something I just hope I remember to come back and read the answer:

Im sitting right where you have been SD18 will be driving by summer.
and lives here with her grandparents after she left our home at 17.

SD15 lives out of state and will be here for 6 weeks this summer. So the question is did you tell your husband she wasnt coming in that she can wait curbside?

If so how did you broach that conversation and how did it go with your DH?

rainbow bright83's picture

It was during a huge fight about the SD. I'm talking like I didn't speak to him for 3 days. I wouldn't answer his calls, wouldn't acknowledge him when he was home. But I had told him if he left out the door there would be consequences because a wife should never come second. this why and how the conversation went.
My DH was about to go see her after she just had her baby but he told me he didn't really want to. So I asked why he was going. He then told me how he didn't want people saying he was a bad dad and blah blah blah. I went off on him. I told him how his kid would tell other people how he abandoned her and wouldn't talk to her. Then I went off about how all this little shit does is talk crap. Finally I said I'd be damned if I let some little bitch be the cause of a divorce. I then laid out my demands:

1) This is MY home. Me and MY children live here. She wanted to play house so let her go. She is not allowed in my home. She stays outside to visit.

2) If he wants to spend time with her he has to do it on HIS time. Not MY family time. Which means that if I'm out shopping, running errands, visiting my mother then he can go to HER house and visit her. But when I'm home its MY time.

I told him that when I married him I didn't sign up for all this bullshit. And that it wasn't fair for him to expect me to have to deal with some teenagers crap when I have nothing to do with her in the first place.