And I have all of you wonderful STalkers to thank! Lord knows, if it wasn't for this site I'd be an unhappy mess sitting in a corner chugging some Southern Comfort. And crying. And probably vomiting on myself while muttering curses at the skids and their dad lol!

I read here every day, even if I don't post a lot, and SO MUCH of what you all share - good and bad - has shaped my role in this household and my BHT plan.

How do I train my husband? I flat out refuse to do his job (parenting) for him, and have tried to pry his eyes open to all of the manipulative crap his kids pull. Oh, and patience in piles because men are sloooooooww learners. Blow jobs work as excellent tools to reward acceptable behavior, I have found. It really isn't all that different from dog training (except I give my dogs treats and not blow jobs!)

Example 1: Laundry
DH and I both wash clothes, since it takes hardly any time to throw them in the washer or dryer and push a few buttons. Folding said clothes and putting them away is where we have a hard time keeping up. In the past, we'd gather the baskets of clean laundry, sort out what belonged to whom, and I would fold/hang my own stuff, leaving his clothing and both of the skids for him to deal with. Naturally, it would take him way longer just due to sheer volume. He would then bring the piles of folded clothes into each of the skids' rooms and put them away. Idiot.

Last night, he grabbed an empty basket and while we were sorting laundry said "Just throw the kids' things in here. They can fold and put away their own clothes. They're not babies!"

I can GUARANTEE that if I had actually jumped in and helped him with their things, he would have never had that particular lightbulb moment.

Next up: Training him to train them to actually wash their own dirties.

Example 2: Dishes
I hate dirty dishes in the sink, but I will not do skid dishes. Nope. I am not the maid. They are old enough to put them in the dishwasher themselves. It is mere inches away from the sink. When the nastiness piled up too much I would ride him to get them done. I guess DH had enough of dealing with crusty old mold growing shit in the sink because he has been on their asses about it lately. My sink has been blissfully dish free this week. It's a solid start and I hope he keeps it up.

Example 3: The Wallet
Skids think the money in this house is endless (I wish!) and that they are entitled to the best in life just because they exist. This has been a more difficult area to train DH in, because he knows Twuntzilla is broke and of course he wants to provide for them. I have been trying to get him to understand that providing for them DOES NOT mean providing them with underwear that costs $25/pair, and socks that cost about the same. ESPECIALLY with kids who inevitably lose said expensive undies/socks and then have the balls to demand replacements.

I will not fund this ridiculousness with my hard earned money. Nope. I don't even have $25 undies and I am a grown ass woman. If DH wants to pay for that kind of thing then he can do it out of his own "fun" money. Well, skid was whining about how he needed new socks for school, so DH went and bought him a pack of socks at TJ Maxx for $6. Score! Skid wasn't happy, but DH told him that when he gets his own damned job then he can buy luxury items for himself.

I have to say that I am lucky - DH isn't the sort to get defensive about his parenting skills, or dismiss me because I don't have bios (because I do have common freaking sense). He also doesn't think his kids shit rainbows, thank the gods. If he did, I wouldn't be here, that's for sure!