Christmas is coming up.. This is dh;s year to have skids...I will predict what will happen
Ok every year that dh's is supposed to have the kids on christmas day yuckopotamus tries her best to convince dh that he had them the year before on christmas day! Yep she will even use the same old things "the boys remember being at your house on christmas day last year" Or "my mom is having her christmas on that day" or my fav is this one "I am the mom and I SHOULD get them on christmas day"
Every year that she tries this my dh tells yuckopotamus that she can not go by what kids tell her and needs to read the CO! Then he will tell her that her mom needs to have her dinner when she has the kids as he will not give up his time and it has been this same schedule now for over 8 years so it is NOT a surprise. Then he will tell her that he is their FATHER and no different then a mother and if anything he should get more time as she has them more then him anyway...,
Never fails she will try to pull something I can see it now. So how many of you can predict that bm will do her best to keep the kids form their dad on christmas???
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If Crazo does she will be
If Crazo does she will be back in court again and the judge already told her he didn't want to see her there again for withholding the skids.
Every single time she withholds SO files and takes her back to court. We will pick up the skids at 12:00 on Christmas day. She will hate it and I will be smiling. Too bad, it is hard Crazo when you reap what you sow.
We have skids through New Years, and my BD will be home...happy happy joy joy.
I fully expect the
I fully expect the usual...crying calls to DH and when that doesn't work, crying to the children (7 and 10) that if they don't come home she's so lonely that she's going to kill herself. I am sure that as usual the kids will be ungrateful brats at my family Christmas, non-stop telling everyone how the presents they will be gettting from their "real family" will be much better and refusing to eat because it's all "gross". Finally, after BM has broken the kids into tear themselves because they are worried about her, miss her and wanna go home...we will find ourselves driving 2 hours in the snow in the middle of the night to take them to her, just so that before we make it half way home DH can receive a call from BM & SS's telling him that the SS's know he doesn't love them because he forced them to go home to her and they want us to come back and get them. GRRR...I hate our years with them. I keep hoping for something different but here we are 6 years later and every years the same. I'm still lobbying for a cruise this year instead.
My husbands ex girlfriend
My husbands ex girlfriend does the exact same thing with her 3 1/2 year old daughter. She tells her all the time that she is always sad when she is gone and even cries in her daughters shoulder when we pick her up. It is so pathetic! I just want to tell her "It is YOUR fault you are in this situation, YOU are the one who lied about birth control to try to trap your boyfriend, so STOP making your daughter feel like she isn't allowed to be happy when she is with us." No wonder my step daughter cries all the time when she is with us now. She feels guilty that her mom is sad and lonely while she is here playing with her sister (our daughter).
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OMG...that whole story is terrible!!!
Smiley if I were you I'd
Smiley if I were you I'd refuse to that crap! I'd tell my dh that either steps up to be a father and parent or they don;t come. Plus I would tell him that if he wants to drive them ho,me early to leave you out of it or he can have them there the WHOLE time or NONE at all. I would not be doing that at all. I would put my foot down.
Your dh is ALLOWING that to happen and he needs to put a stop to it. If not it will happen again and again and will never stop.
Wow, I can relate. Since DH
Wow, I can relate. Since DH and I have first been together, going on 6 years, we have yet to have SD for Christmas Day. At the beginning, DH and BM were still working through a divorce (She dragged it out to 3 years by waffling on custody issues). She said that she planned to have SD for Christmas and if we tried to stop her, she'd drag it out longer. After that, BM had a baby, so we gave up our holiday so that SD could spend Christmas with her little brother. During these years, we would send an email to "Santa" and he would come to our house early so she could have a Christmas at both houses.
Last year, we decided that since switching Christmases had fallen by the wayside, we'd allow SD to decide where she wanted to spend Christmas Day. She decided on our house, since she hadn't spent Christmas with her dad in years. BM guilt tripped her and told her "well that's fine if you want to go there you'll just miss Christmas" SD told her how things were handled at our house and maybe they could email Santa. BM told her "Whatever, I'm not going to wreck Christmas just because you want to go to your f***ing dad's house". Needless to say, after a lot of tears and guilt, SD chose to stay at BM's house for Christmas.
I feel for you- No kid should have to deal with fighting like that over holidays-- Shame on BM (mine AND yours!!)
This year has to be different
This year has to be different - I have my own son now. So, I've already decided that while I know SS's & BM's behavior will not be better I will not let it effect my Christmas this year. In the past I've let them ruin every Christmas I've had with DH but this year if they want to all be spoiled generally self-centered people more power to them. I plan to focus on my child and my child only. DH is on his own with them and the insane pandering to them and their mother. For now, I'm just bracing myself for the insanity around me and preparing to if I can't fully ignore it atleast pretend that I don't mind DH essentially spending the entire day away from DS and I so that he can cater to SS's and BM. Christmas used to be so wonderful...now it's typically the worst day of the year for me.
would refuse to let my dh be
would refuse to let my dh be away from his other child to cater to the bm..I would let him know that he has another child too and if he can;t be there for him then he can go back to bm.. Sometimes you have to put it like that to them before they can see what they have been doing.
I would go so far as to say that if he leaves any time on christmas eve or christmas day to cater to them then he can stay away or stay with her and them and if that is he going to do then not to bother coming back. I would mean it too. I always mean what I say and follow through. You have to make them know you mean business and will not put up with that crap. Once he sees you mean it he will stop may not be right away but he will know where you stand and you have to put you foot down hon or it will never change. If you want it to change you have to tell him that you will no longer accept that behavior from him or he will be gone.
i know it will hurt hon but if he loves you he will change if not he won;t but it will tell you where you stand. and if it were me I'd want to know where I stand and if he doesn't love me enough to stop that bs then I will not stay.
Your son deserves his dad just like the other 2 do and it is not fair to him for his dad to be gone on christmas b/c he is catering to someone else!
I agree there should not be
I agree there should not be fighting like that and put the kids in the middle. But one thing about yuckopotamus is that she doesn't say anything to the boys she just tells dh that the boys say this and that when they don;t have a clue.
One other thing is that santa ONLY comes to our house every other year and that is one thing that the yuckopotamus and dh agreed on is that santa will only visit the boys once per year like the rest of the kids in the world. That was a very big surprise from yuckopotamus that she agreed to that however I really think she agreed to that b/c she really thought she would be able to convince dh that shed should have them every year.
She used to try to convince dh that he couldn't afford to have the boys and at first he would agree until I pointed out that in the CO it states that if dh has the boys for a week at a time he get his CS cut in half. So her excuse went BUH BYE!! With my help dh started to see through all her BS and was able to start getting his kids and not let her keep them form him. Of course it was MY fault I take LOTS of credit for that. I will tell her that too, yep it was MY fault. LMAO }:) }:)
Former yuckopotamus realy did
Former yuckopotamus realy did say that for the first 3 years for summer visits and spring break and christmas and any other time she thought dh should not get them.
I was jumping for joy when dh repeated to her what I had said. I told dh that it seems that when ever he has the kids for more than a weekend yuckopotamus tries to convince him that he should get them. so when he told her "it seems as though any time I have them for more a weekend that you try to keep them from me." she flipped! it was soo funny... But he kept saying til she finally for the most part shut up.
Ahh Christmas. When it came
Ahh Christmas. When it came time for the custody agreement to be reached, my H thought he had it in the bag, as BM didnt celebrate Christmas and SS had always been with him and/or his family on Christmas days in the past.
So of course they get to the item of Christmas and... BM says she now celebrates it, Christmas will switch year to year. The order was put in Oct 2009, so that Christmas was ours. She complained that SS cried because everyone had opened their gifts without him. And yet, the following year, her year, BM told us to keep SS into Christmas. Saying itd be better for SS to open gifts with his sister, our BD than in the house with all the other kids. I too wonder what will happen this year around...
Ok every year that dh's is
Ok every year that dh's is supposed to have the youngster on Yule day yuckopotamus experiment her best to convince dh that he had them the year before on Yule day! Yep she will even use the same old shore "the boys remember creature at your house on Yule day conclusion year" Or "my mom is owning her Yule on that day" or my fav is this one "I am the mom and I SHOULD get them on Yule day" merry christmas || new years status