well...it's almost Halloween which means i will officially become a stepmother. and a wife...hahaha maybe that should be my first point. i know this is going to be the most difficult thing i will ever do in my life. i get sick to my stomach thinking about it. but, i am strong willed, so perhaps i can make it.

i've come to realize...which is hard for me because i always give people the benefit of the doubt, look for the best in people...etc., but the BM must be encouraging my step daughter to complain about having to do things with me. We took her to a pageant last night that my niece of the same age was in...a lot of my other little nieces were there, it was a girl thing, especially a little girl thing. she had a blast despite herself, but what bothered me was her initial reaction and her determination to keep the attitude going throughout the entire thing. when we got there she got mad because she thought it was going to be just her and daddy. when we sat down, she was determined to sit in between us, not because she wanted to sit with me, but because she didn't want her dad to sit anywhere close to me. she continually made him get up and go somewhere with her, and if i even looked at him she would yell at him or move my hand from touching his. anytime i would speak she would say things like "well, duh!" she gave him a popcorn ball and said i want YOU to have it daddy, only you, don't give any to HER. it's not that I don't understand her insecurities, and the whole daddy thing, but every single second she is around is filled with her being rude to me. now, having said all this, i try to reprimand her, i try to console her, get her to think positively and so does her father, but anytime something doesn't go her way, it's immediately, "can i call my mom"...so i've tried to talk with her mother. i told her about the pageant and that she had fun, and she blamed the father, said he led her to believe something else, which didn't happen, and always talks about how they just need to spend time without me. it's not that i don't agree with that to some extent, so i give them time, but the fact of the matter is that i'm not going anywhere. her mom encourages her to ask to spend time without me, and so when she returns home she gripes about us to her mother and her mother must be approving of it. telling her, oh, your daddy is a bad father because he won't just spend time with you. we live together, we are a family, where am i supposed to go? i give them time, but i can't just disappear when she is around. what the heck else am i supposed to do?