So I haven't yet given him the letter...I was kind of waiting to see if he brought up us getting together w/the kids, but since he hasn't-I'm waiting. I will give it to him soon though.

So up until yesterday all was good w/him and I....I think after him hearing the boys ask about her coming over and me not answering he was getting the 'hint' that I"m not ready for it yet.

Yesterday he came over to see me and I could already tell his mood had changed as it ALWAYS does day before visitation... and he's grumpy, kind of standoffish, cold...He turned me down a few times throught the night saying he wasnt in the mood (which NEVER happens of course unless its day before SD visiation or DURING visiation---we all know skid wknd always ends up being no sex wknd-grrrr).
He wasnt' being mean but definately pouting. He mentions earlier that evening hat Monday is SD's bday. I said oh wow, yeah I thought it was coming up. THAT'S IT-i said nothing more. I also told the boys loudly that we had a one-two day project cleanign the toyroom out so i can have the carpets cleaned (hint-i'll be busy).

When he's getting ready to leave we're cuddlign in bed, I was trying to be all cozy and asked him to stay..he's like nah I've gotta go...guess I'll see you ummm....wednesday then. I didn't respond. This means he's pouting because i haven't yet 'caved' to having SD back, or that's his way of telling me how long she's staying or pouting because it's her bday and i'm still not caving

This tells me he must have found out yesterday that this is till when she's staying(yes SD and BM unilaterally decide this for him-if says no his parents will say yes and take her, so he has 0 control over visiation and extended visits)-BUT I DO LOL

First off-and I didn't say any of this--I alreayd told him that it's likely Sun night the kids would be going to their dads until Tue. So i'm thinking why doesn't HE PLAN and do something and we can come over for a bit if he wants maybe on Sun afternoon. I am NOT spending any $ or having a party or anything at my house-i'm sure her mom already has something big planned for her. No need for doubles.
I'm sure he's hoping I will offer MY HOME and services to host something for her. NOT HAPPENING> Not after last years crap.

But yeah-here comes the hell, just like eow, some bullshit drama about his visitation time...he's in a bad mood, or I am, or they pull last minute "oh I'm staying a week"...or something. It just always goes to shit.

I'm sorry-but I'm standing firm-he cannot get the idea that because HE allows them to decide FOR him how the visits will go..that I will agree to it also. NOT HAPPENING_NOW or EVER-it used to, not anymore.. And so far it LOOKS like I've escaped another weekend of having her around me and my home!!!

I sent him a text a little earlier saying just that...that if him or his parents were doign anything for her bday we could come attend. If we do I'll give her a card and maybe a small gift from the boys and I. Other then that-I am DISENGAGED ladies...I'm not the nice host and do mommy things to get f'ed over w/her attitude. He's read the disengaged article so he knows where I'm at.