Good god...the heavens don't want me to vent-I've written a book twice and it got deleted-i'm trying to text bf back with something nasty and my phone messes up. I'm so frustrated!!!

I wish the damn stepdemon didn't exist. I don't know that I can continue this relationship honestly because of her. I'm tired of him not standing up for himself when he says SD decided she wanted to be with him two weeks...and possibly two more weeks in July. So wait, you let a f'in 10yr old decide FOR you, and BM and your parents call all the shots....when you know 50pct of that time will be spent here in MY home-eating my food-my hospitality-my tv, my sons space and sanity-so in essence they ARE dictating MY life also-because you/her want to come over here....so if I say no I'm not being a team player in the relationship right?? I get NO say on the dates but the responsibility? and my kids getting bullied intermittently? What tells me this would be any different if we did live together...all of a sudden he's going to build a backbone and fight back? He doesn't do it now-..THEN he tells me yesterday he has her this wknd which is supposed to be our kids free wknd. I don't know WHO decided or how- I bitched at him that those days are crucial for our relationship right now. He hinted that w/the boys gone she's not hard to deal with at all-I said it's my kids free wknd...he was hinting about the two of them chilling w/me part of the wknd and then we could try and go out the two of us Sat evening. YEAH HELL NO....YOUR wknd that YOU allowed to be swapped w/out asking me but you want to make it MY responsibility also? Don't I have enough?? Don't I deserve free time w/out a kid asking for something all the time, wanting attention, being in my space/face?

I do more time/responsibility then the damn three of them combined-him, his ex, my ex....yet I'm the doormat to get shit on because plans are made that I have no say so? I really really think I should just do my own thing all wknd and let him see and his parents what it means when they can't count on me or my home to keep SD entertained.

I kept them away Mon/Tue-last night we THOUGHT it went well-but my son tells me this am that at one point at neighbors trampoline SD kicked him in the legs over and over and wouldn't stop when he told her to. Yet she acted all innocent and "I defended him from this other kid"..now my son is intimidated to speak up in front of her because she always denies and lies about it-she ACTS sweet and does things out of sight of us. I swear I want to beat her myself....I sent him a text about it this am...and I'm sitting on my hand from sending a nastier response to his "that sucks I'll talk to her" yeah like that's worked SO well in the past-I'm so close!!! I can't have my kids bullied in their own home. I may have no choice then to go back to not allowing her over again. It may mean we can't continue together but this is bullshit.

You know when you have the urgency to scream and get things off your chest and somehow you're tongue tied? Yeah...like that.

So I texted and sitting on send this: Talk 2 her, thats worked great I'm sure she'll stop. You agreed to this wknd so you handle it leave me out of it, i will not be a doormat.

Is this crossing a line, is this me fed up? Do I hit send? I'm so mad right now at BOTH of them and his parents and BM.