You are here

I just don't know if I'll ever be able to trust or like her again

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 2:49pm

Since our court date in September when SD9 and BM insinuated that BS12 and BS14 were having inappropriate contact with SD9, I just haven't even wanted to be around SD9. I honestly don't want to have anything to do with her. I thought time would heal some of the hurt I feel. But I don't think it's just the hurt from the lies that were told, it's the mother bear in me wanting to protect my kids. I don't care that she's only 9. All it takes is one false accusation and my sons' lives would forever be changed. And the fact that both BM and SD9 think it's ok to lie, these kinds of lies can destroy innocent children. And the sad thing is that I think how I feel will eventually destroy my marriage. It's so sad that I can see it and yet I don't think there is anything I can do to stop feeling this way about her. And I know he can't possibly understand because she's his daughter. Both he and I are in an awful predicament.

Comments

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 3:10pm

You are absolutely right Fire. I need to give it much more time. It's just hard to convince DH that much more time will make it better. And I don't hate her. I just hate what she did to my family. And I guess I'm somewhat mourning the family I thought we could be. I honestly thought the more she was with us, the more her mother's brainwashing would be alleviated. But I think she's too far in to save and it makes me sad for her. And it makes me sad for DH because he knows how this will ultimately end. SD9 will either disappear from our lives as she gets older or she will destroy our marriage. Because sadly enough, this little girl will not stick around if she has to share and she hates sharing her Dad with me and my boys. That's one of the reasons she lies about us. She has told me that if she had it her way, me and the boys would go away and now she has proven at what length she will go to to make that happen. And as far as my boys are concerned, I try to make sure they go to their dad's when she is with us.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 3:09pm

I don't know how you ladies do it with minor children of your own living in the same household as skids!! In my case the Bm works for CPS and she started making false accusations less than a year after we moved to be "closer to the skids" (TM)

These kids were brainwashed from day one so they were never polite, fun, happy children. They were encouraged to be rude lying animals by the BM when at our house. After they colluded to make a fake CPS report with mommykins, any hope of feeling even slightly luke warm toward them were dashed to pieces. They later admitted that they "lied to make mommmy happy." Nice. Way to go BM; they are now long PASed out and according to FB still mom-bots all the way. They were more upset that they got caught lying than actually putting their father on the NYS Child Abuse and Maltreatment register without cause. Sucks!

Protect your boys!

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

Submitted by notmyfirstrodeo on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 3:14pm

I'm so sorry thinkthrice that you had to go through that. But thank you for sharing. Sometimes it helps just to know I'm not the only one dealing with such an insanity.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 3:30pm

I completely understand how you feel. I am very surprised that we skated by without BM brainwashing SD to make some kind of false accusation.

And had she done that, I would feel the same way you do. As it is, I do not trust my SD22 because she lies and tries to manipulate my husband but my husband does not completely trust her either, so he does not fault me for how I feel. He knows if I never saw her again, it would be no skin off my back.

What happens if the next made up accusation is against your husband? Maybe then he will understand.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 4:04pm

Also remember that CPS goes after the "low hanging fruit" so it's much easier to be a tool for the vindictive BM to put the screws to middle-class dad and call it a "successfully closed case."

Most REAL abuse occurs in lower socio economic groups that would be politically incorrect and far too dangerous to prosecute, so CPS usually looks the other way in those cases. I say this because the BM in my case IS a CPS worker one county over and I support CPS (IT-wise) in my county. Have seen it first hand.