That's right. If I could get a do over I most certainly would take it. I should have told my husband and his children NO, no they can't live with us. Sorry, but raising your daughter and our 3 children is enough. But that is not what I said. I am forever regretting that decision. Everyday! My thoughts are so unorganized now that I don't even know if this blog will be readable to anyone. But I woke up today full of anxiety and resentment and need to start somewhere.

Here is an open letter to my stepson....
I felt sorry for you because your mother abandoned you. I felt sorry for you because you're mom was a junkie whore. I wanted to make life easier and more what a child deserves. But the damage was done and you ruined years of my life. Years of my children's life. You stole prescription pills, money, alcohol, cigarettes from our neighbors. You broke into a friends house and the cops had to bring you home. You took a knife to my new couch. You splatter painted your room "on accident". You skipped school, lied about going to your therapy sessions, you tormented your much younger brother so much that I had to seperate your rooms by opposite ends of the house. You decided you were gay, then not gay, now gay again. You shit in your underware over and over and left them in the laundry for me. You carved names in your new dresser. You purposely destroyed the little kids swing set. You ruined not one but 2 lawnmowers. You took new clothes and ruined them. New shoes and drew on them. You destroyed everything you touched. You are a sociopath and everyone in this family is afraid to have you around. When we visit family out of town everyone hides their valuables, liquor, prescriptions etc. You have embarrassed me for years. I have a dead bolt on my bedroom door because you were caught standing outside my door at 3 in the morning twice! You masturbated inside my favorite books and placed them back on the shelf. You shaved your pubic hair in my shower and left it.You are a bad person at the least. All the therapy in the world did not help you. I am glad I tracked your mother down and my husband forced her to take you. 5 years was way too long to endure you. You're 17, grow up. You will never be inside our home again. I hate you for how you treated your dad. He was the only one that truly loved you and you spit in his face. So long psycho!!!

I know it's harsh, but I am already remembering things I didn't even post above. His mother can finish the job she started.God help her.