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It's not my fault she's gay

Stpmum11's picture

Submitted by Stpmum11 on Tue, 09/13/2011 - 6:52pm

So my ss5 and I are very close. Me and my husband ( his dad) have him during the week and the bm has him on weekends. His mom has been dating a girl (a butch girl) for a couple of years now. Now ss5 has been asking me questions about being gay, like is it ok or is it wrong etc. So me being the open minded person I am expalined to him that sometimes people of the same sex fall in love and that it's not ok to make fun or tease a "gay person". So ss5 says to me, My mom has a girlfriend" is she gay? I said maybe. Now Bm calls husbands phone screaming mad asking why I told her son that she's gay! Like she wants to hide the fact that she is either bisexual or gay. My thing is if u want to hide it, why is the girl living with you? Why do u have an open relationship around your son? And most importantly why are u with a girl if u don't want to be considered gay? By the way she's had a history of being with girls even before she met my husband ( her ex). Maybe it's because she still thinks her son is 2 and oblivious to the things she does. Now am I wrong for telling him the truth?

Comments

mlmt1128's picture

Submitted by mlmt1128 on Tue, 09/13/2011 - 6:55pm

Wow. I have seen some narrow minded people, but usually they are not gay/bi themselves! Did she think he would not question why she had a girlfriend eventually?? Maybe SHE should have told him instead of making him go to someone else for answers. She obviously have some issues with herself.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 09/13/2011 - 7:08pm

Great answer and a wonderful example of how a viable adult parent would and should answer this question. No embellishment, no judgement, just direct factual answers.

Facts are not good or bad they are just facts and even young Skids should be given the respect of hearing the facts in an age appropriate manner of course.

If BM does not like the facts of the situation she created, tough shit. Your Skid deserves to have his questions answered in a direct factual manner. Any one does for that matter.

My SS came to me with similar questions regarding his Bi-Racial two youngest SpermIdiot half sibs. He asked if it was wrong that they were black, etc, etc, etc.... I answered his questions in a similar manner to how you answered your SS's questions about his mother being gay.

Best regards,

anita...sigh's picture

Submitted by anita...sigh on Tue, 09/13/2011 - 9:34pm

Personally, 5 is a little young to even be questioning sexual orientation. You have to wonder why.

I've dealt with this issue personally but dealing with teens. When it comes to anything regarding BM, I simply tell them they would have to ask her because I don't know. Keeps you out of a lot of trouble.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 09/14/2011 - 11:29am

My personal opinion on this is that if the Opposition Parent has a history of not communicating with the child on anything but video and fantasy card games that it is the duty of the responsible parent to answer the child's questions with the available facts.

When my SS asked us why my wife and his SpermIdiot were not together, we answered with facts. As SS got older and asked more questions we answered with facts, showed him the documentation stipulating the facts.....

We would not conject or give our opinions we just referenced the facts and told SS to ask his "Dad" or "SpermGrandParents" on the next call or visitation.

Of course DipShit and SpermGrandMa blew a gasket when SS would ask them specific questions when he was on visitation.

The crown jewel of my SS's fact based knowledge of his SpermClans troxic crap was when he asked his mom and I if either of us had been married before. My wife had not, I had. We shared this information with SS. Then he asked if DickHead had ever been married. We tole him "yes, you BioDad was married once." SS said that DickHead had told SS and the three younger SpermIdiot half sibs that he had never been married.

We shared the facts and even showed him a copy of the marriage license where his SpermIdiot had married a 16yo (Dick Head was 23) two weeks before the court date for the origninal Custody/Visitation/Support hearing. We also showed him the divorce ruling from several months after the Custody/Visitation/Support hearing.

On this occassion, when SS asked, we did offer our opinion of why his SpermIdiot had married and then quickly divorced the 16yo Statutory Rape victim he was mollesting at the time of the court hearing. We explained that spouses can not be forced to testify against each other and that his BioDad had married a 16yo so he would not have to go to jail for Statutory Rape .... He asked waht statutory rape was, we explained. We reiterated repeatedly that this was only our opinion and if he wanted an experts opinion that he could call our attorney and ask him.

We also recommended tnat SS call his "Dad" to get his answeres to these questions.

Kids should know the facts and truth of their family situation, presented in an age appropriate and fact based manner.

IMHO of course.