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bad stepmom?

new evil stepmom's picture

Submitted by new evil stepmom on Tue, 01/30/2007 - 4:02pm

I feel terrible, my 12 yr old step daughter drives me crazy. I feel like I am always short and curt with her just because I am sick of her thinking she knows everything, she argues everything I say, says no to everything and then tells us how it is supposed to be done. I can't stand it, she is also very disrespectful to her dad. I try to set rules for her in the house and she does them for the most part except the keeping the room/bathroom clean rule. She even gets paid if this one is done - it doesn't have to be deep cleaned just picked-up, no clutter. Then at the end of the week she wines that we didn't give her the money for keeping her room tidy.
Am I resentfull, mean or is this the way all mothers feel/act about 12 yr old daughters?

Please help, any advice for me?

Comments

new evil stepmom's picture

Submitted by new evil stepmom on Tue, 01/30/2007 - 4:41pm

My previous submission sounds mild, I did not express my true feelings because I am afraid to, but inside I can't stand her - and that makes me feel very bad. I have not confided in anyone about my feelings.

Anonymous's picture

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 01/30/2007 - 5:24pm

This may help you to understand why you feel the way that you do. But you know what, there probably isn't a mother alive who hasn't really found that there was a time frame that their daughter's were very annoying as they grew up. This may subside...I wouldn't say that the daughter's behaviour is that unusual though for an adolescent girl. Talk with some and take it easy on yourself and the young girl too. You can get through this!

sheila's picture

Submitted by sheila on Tue, 01/30/2007 - 5:56pm

I wish I had something sound to offer you. I think for the most part, once those hormones kick in, most kids are difficult to be around and frustrating to deal with. I am in no position to tell you what to do, as I am dealing with a 17 yr daughter of my BF and if I were being honest, I would have to say I can't stand the sight of her. However, my situation is very different as she intentionally causes problems in my relationship with her father and just will not give it up. Whole nother story.

I would encourage you to seek some therapy for yourself....and then maybe at some point, to include SD and husband. I think you are more frustrated than anything. The fact that you are concerned tells me that you are certainly not evil. You care enough to want to talk and to find some resolution. I commend you for that. another option that has worked for me on other issues is read read read. Learn all you can about what you are involved in. I am sorry that you feel bad and have not shared your feelings. I think this is s safe and supportive site for you to get some good advice and encouragement. Hang in there.........learn all you can about pre-teen and teen years. Blended families are not easy. FOr me, sometimes I feel like i am being "forced" to care for someone that I simply do not care about. I don't wish her any illwill, I just do not trust her and don't see any possibility of a future relationship that I have no trust to base on. I cannot fake feelings that I don't have. You are entitiled to your feelings as well. Try not to feel bad about that. It's ok.....and admitting them is the start to finding solutions.

Good luch to ya