Infuriating BM never ceases to amaze me (venting)
DH's new CO was signed on 10/3. It's super specific, especially about holidays and who drops off where, and those kinds of things because BM likes to push the envelope if it means denying DH access to the skids.
CO states that unless otherwise noted, holidays begin at 6 PM and continue until the start of school or 9AM. DH and I looked at the CO this week, since Thanksgiving is his this year. The Thanksgiving holiday period begins at the dismissal of school and continues until drop off the following Monday. So DH notices and messages BM that Thanksgiving is different, and asks what time to expect the kids to be dropped off (she's required to drop off due to PA that cause visitation refusals).
BM comes back with all holidays start at 6 PM. DH referred her back to the CO. She keeps arguing about it, even though the CO is perfectly clear. She is just hell-bent on limiting the skids' time with DH for no reason whatsoever, and it's so frustrating.
We have a call in to our attorney, in hopes that he can speak with hers about this (as well as her "refusal to consent" to allergy re-testing for SS), but I'm just so frustrated. Is this what our life has become? A never-ending series of having to fight for DH's rights to his kids? Clearly the answer is yes, but geez!
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To answer your question, yes
To answer your question, yes this is what your life has become. She will never stop finding stuff to fight over and it will never be over no matter how specific you get in the Custody Order. That's the unfortunate truth I've learned. If you don't agree with what she wants, there will be fighting; if you agree she will look for something else to fight over, if you ignore then there will be a fight about how you aren't communicating. That being said if the CO is word for word what you put in the OP then I agree with BM that he will get the skid at 6pm the day she gets out of school until the following day 9AM.
Our custody order says pick up for Holidays is 6pm the night before the holiday and ends 6pm the day of the holiday. So BM might think its that way too.
BM is obviously holding on to
BM is obviously holding on to whatever control she has. And yes, she will continue to do it for as long as she can. I had to deal with one like this. I had to go to talk to OH's lawyer at one point bc she was trying to get more money out of him after finding out that he had:
- gone on a vacation (it was local and I had rented a house on a lake and invited him to come with me)
- had a new tattoo (it was my birthday present to him, he wanted one, I paid for it)
- had bought a gift for me, I don't remember what it was but WTF???
- had a new iphone (it was actually a used iphone I gave him when I upgraded mine)
I can't even remember the other garbage she spewed out. All of these things she knew about because her kids were connected to us on facebook and she would snoop, or they mentioned things in passing. So because of her pettiness, we had to hide things from them. It's what started my decline in relationship with them, because I started feeling like I was being a pawn in a game and they were trying to pump information out of me.
Our struggles with BM didn't end until the agreement ended, sorry to say. Pray she finds a man to keep her occupied and gives her someone else to harp on. My OH's ex has never had one since they divorced.
"The Thanksgiving holiday
"The Thanksgiving holiday period begins at the dismissal of school and continues until drop off the following Monday."
seems pretty clear to me. Thanksgiving is different than other holidays. Starts when school gets out on the day the school break starts (in my town, that would be Tuesday) and ends when school starts on the Monday following the weekend.
What am I missing??
The specific language is: 3.
The specific language is:
3. Holidays will be shared as follows:
a. Holidays: holiday parenting time shall supersede the regularly scheduled visitation unless otherwise indicated, holiday periods will begin the night before the holiday at 6:00 pm and will last until 9:00 am the morning after the holiday, or the beginning of the school day the morning after the holiday, as applicable.
If a holiday period falls during the Mother’s scheduled parenting time, the mother shall transport the children to their Father’s residence at the beginning of the holiday period and the Father shall transport the children to the Mother’s residence or to school at the end of the holiday period. If the holiday falls during the Father’s scheduled parenting time, the Father shall transport the children to their Mother’s residence at the beginning of the holiday period and the Mother will transport the children to the Father’s residence at the end of the holiday period, if applicable.
Thanksgiving: the parents shall alternate, with Father having even years and the Mother having odd years. The Thanksgiving holiday period will begin on Wednesday, when school releases and will last until the following Monday morning at 9:00 am or the beginning of school, which ever is earlier.
so they are in school next
so they are in school next week m-w? then it sounds like she needs to drop them off right after school, unless he can pick them straight up from school.
if they're not in school wed, then i'd go with 6p.
wow. if dumb@$$ ever
wow. if dumb@$$ ever bothered to exercise visitation, that wording would NOT work. our schools let out normal time tomorrow and are closed the whole week, school not starting back up until 11/28. so in essence that'd be like ten straight days.
what's the actual visitation schedule? eowe? eow?
ps - i'm liking the fact that your bm is court-ordered to do the drop-offs!!! }:)
Hold her to it and if she
Hold her to it and if she refuses file a contempt charge or whatever that's called. She'll get sick of costing herself money and being a pain in the a$$ to herself. If you follow it to the letter she'll get the picture eventually.
Now that you've posted the
Now that you've posted the exact terms of the CO, I think your SO is right. I find it weird that Thanksgiving is given its own special circumstances but whatever-that's his order to follow. Reading it now I understand it to mean that once the kids gets out of school Wednesday, BM is to drop them off to their father immediately after.
What is the BM fighting for exactly? Are they arguing over who picks up the kids or the time to pick up the kids? The time is specific, but who transports them is kind of vague. It says BM is suppose to transport them to their father for his holiday but it also says his time starts when school lets out so if can pick them up then he should.
Be careful that BM doesn't try to check them out (before school is over) just so she can control the situation and say "school lets out at 2:30, its only 1 so I am keeping them until 2:30 then I will bring them to you" I strongly agree with getting the lawyers involved for clarifications. Make sure its clear that your DH will have the kids picked up when school lets out and BM is not to intercede at any point to prevent that from happening.