DH, my bio-DD, and I have been at home/quaratined since mid-March because of the pandemic stuff.  We've been *very* careful, mostly because DD's dad is MIA, so it's only us to care for her, and because of our own "healthy" health anxiety.

DH has been very clear with BM and Skids about this, and even missed several days of parenting time because BM was not having the Skids adhere to social distancing.  Our attorney sent a warning, in fact, once we had a formal stay at home order, because BM wasn't socially distancing and SS has asthma, so he was (apparently asthma is no longer a concern for COVID!) at high risk.  BM *and skids* assured us they had followed the rules, and we allowed visits to restart about a month ago.

Come to find out that they haven't really been following the rules at all!  BM is an essential worker, so she was still going to work, which we knew and didn't begrudge.  But it turns out that BM was taking the skids for visits with other people the whole f-ing time!  SD was literally dropped off at her girlfriend's house--without a mask--to use her "good" judgment about social distancing.  And all the while, skids came to our house and lied to our faces about it.  SD went so far as to complain that her girlfriend wasn't socially distancing, she was mad.  Both complained about how bored they were.

I am livid.

How much am I expected to give up for these f-ing kids?  I've already sacrificed a good chunk of my privacy. I've had to watch BM malign DH and treat him like sh*t.  I have had to deal with accusations, drama, and ugliness virtually non-stop for almost 8 years from BM and skids and others they have roped into their toxic dysfunction.  The financial sacrifices and stress are intense all the time.  And now this.  DH 100% realizes that none of this is OK, and is holding skids accountable but feels largely helpless to fix any of it.  (Although we suspected they were chornically violating quarantine, we didn't get confirmation until after they arrived yesterday, for example.)  We do a lot of coping and working around, but not much fixing.

I love my DH and I love us as a couple.  He's remarkable with DD and DD adores him.  I don't want to lose that, but I can't help but feel like these sh*itstorms are going to push me to a point where choosing my DH is impossible.  Maybe that's BM's goal, I don't know.

I'm mostly venting, though I'm always open to suggestion.