I'm going to admit... I'd been bitchy lately. Holy cow. I think I'm doing better now. My husband couldn't do anything to make me happy. Additionally, I don't think anything he would say or do would make me happy. I'm over it.
We're doing a lot better now and he is severely trying. He has friends coaching that is giving him an objective view of himself as well. This way he isn't feeling like I'm trying to attack him but someone who is outside of the box. It helps when others say, oh yes, he's a very abrasive or strong personality. But with me standing my ground, it's being a tremendous help.
For instance, he tried to get upset about me spending money on a particular item. He has bills to pay, and I have bills that I pay. He was upset that I had excess money as he struggled to pay certain ones. In essence I was confused why OUR agreement was such an issue. He finally broke down upset that he wasn't making more money than what he has and can't take care of ALL bills and that I should be free to do with my money what I can. In his mind, the minute we got married, my debt becomes his debt- that sort of thing. I never expect any such thing. It's stuff that happened before he came along. Just like his custody battle is his thing.
I know every couple is different especially financially speaking.
At least his approach to disagreements has been a tremendous turn around. Now if I can work on my end. I still have a tendency to shut out.