New attorney for the corrupt system
Hubby and I decided to switch attorneys. The last one we had, was a big time attorney from Sacramento while the case was held in some small town county. As we know, small towns are corrupt. The ex's attorney is from that small county and knows everyone and buddy buddy. That whole thing. So DH got smart and decided to hire an attorney from the same county that has a reputation there. We went in and told her the situation that the mediator didn't even go through the police reports and just automatically sided with his ex's attorney. She responded that she knows what he's talking about and the reason dh was shut out was his attitude. He didn't kiss the mediators ass so she automatically tuned him out. She also said she was familiar with his ex's attorney and without being mean, and to put "nicely" she is tough and doesn't like her.
Anyway, so she is going to coach DH how to prepare for the next evidenciary hearing. She said his case is all mixed up since the system is corrupt and they have a biased against him but that it isn't too late. What is nice about this attorney is that she isn't interested in squeezing out every dime that she can. She said that she will be there for any questions and to pay as you go.
Apparently the county made a new regulation where the judge doesn't like for children to move around a lot. With us living an hr away from SD5's school... DH would commute an hr each way on Mon, Tues, and every other Wed (for teh 50/50 custody). The judge didn't like that. So it's apparent that DH is a good father to them.
I asked our attorney about us moving to the same county to eliminate the "moving the child around." Her eyes lit up and said it would do wonders for our case. Because then the judge can take into an account that he's a good father, willing to move within the county to provide stability for the kiddos, and then take into even more account how effed up his ex and criminal bf are. I wish I was exaggerating when I say his ex is no good but it is so incredibly sad. She used to be a meth head and has no maternal instincts. Her fiance is 37 years old with a recurring criminal record. He has at minimum 4 DUIs INCLUDING vehicular manslaughter. His license has been suspended and yet he still drives. His most recent implication being less than a year ago! He was charged with possession of codeine. On top of all this, he uses illegal steroids and has a bad temper.
We found out his background because the EX's attorney demanded a background check on me because the mother "doesn't know who this woman is that the girls are around." Joke on her since I am studying law enforcement 
*tee hee hee*
They are the girls biggest dangers sadly.
I'm more than happy to move. I'm getting closer to the girls and see them picking up my habits which is absolutely adorable.
SD5 changes clothes before going to mom and hands me back the bows and jewlery I put on her because she wants me to take care of her stuff saying "if I take it to my mom's, it will get lost and I want to make sure I have them when I come back."
The girls know I put a lot of time and effort into making them look pretty and they in turn appreciate it and feel good about themselves. Their mom puts them in rags. When SD3 came the past couple weekends, she's wearing shoes that have holes. BM can afford to buy them things and knows she gets clothing/items back that she sends the girls with. I don't want her thinking we want to keep the things she buys for them so I make a point to send everything back. Hell, I don't get much money but I go on ebay and sales and able to find them amazing things. Anyway, this past weekend, it was disgusting because the poor girls stunk! They hadn't had baths in 2 days even though they had been playing outside. Their hands and feet were filthy and their hair was a mess! Not only that but BM finally bought SD3 new shoes... 2 sizes TOO BIG!!! They were flip flopping around and the little one had blisters from the shoes rubbing her feet.
All in all, moving will be one of the best things for us. We get to leave the old life behind, in a way start fresh... we move to an area that has better opportunites of work for me as well. I'm just happy to finally get into a new home. It's going to take time but at least its a step in the right direction.
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Comments
That's great that you can
That's great that you can move. A lot of people couldn't, due to not being able to sell home, or not having a job in the other area, etc. I bet this will be huge in the judges eyes! Good for you.
MFM, Congratulations on
MFM,
Congratulations on finding an attorney with half a brain and some ethics. It is often impossible to find one with either much less both.
What most of the attorneys that we have dealt with fail to recognize is that they work for us. I pay them to deliver a specific result or to find a next best acceptable alternative. I don't want their opinion on anything other than how they are going to accomplish what I am paying them to accomplish.
We struggled with the Small town corrupt and idiot Judges, inept attorney, etc.... for years. Though we never lost in court, we also never really won either. We mostly won but that was not what we wanted. When the SpermClan would violate the CO and we would call our attorney to smack them around we would get a sigh and some snively BS about being reasonable, working it out, etc, etc, etc......
It did not help that SpermGrandMa is the house keeper for several attorneys and judges in the rural county and small town where SpermLand is located. We had significant SpermClan and corruption inertia to overcome. Fortunately even the idiot bottom 10%er judges that seem to end up on the family law bench could not totally screw up the decisions in my SS's Custody/Visitation/Support case because the SpermIdiot has few redeeming qualities and SpermGrandMa is a well known "cover my baby's criminal and worthless ass" manipulator in the county though she and SpermGrandPa do have a fairly strong network in the legal community due to SpermGrandMa's office and home cleaning services.
This went on for about 4yrs until I finally informed my wife that we would no longer fund her inept attorney continuously telling us "you have to work it out with "them" rather than taking everything to court". That attorney was under the mistaken perspective that we wanted anything other than to beat the SpermClan's toothless idiot asses in court often and brutally. We only responded to them when they violated the CO and when they did, we wanted to respond aggressively and consistently.
So, we went on a search for a good attorney who would work to accomplish our goals rather than try to feed us the placate the opposition purple cool-aid.
We actually found one in the state we lived in rather than in SpermLand.
During our first consultation he asked us four very interesting and powerful questions.
1) What is it that you want to accomplish with this action?
2) Are you doing this for your son or to stick it to BioDad?
3) This could take a while and be very expensive. Are you prepared for the expense?
4) If I do not think what you are trying to accomplish is reasonable or possible will you consider any alternatives that I present?
I gave him a retainer on the spot. From that point forward there was no "you need to work it out with them" bullshit.
We met with the attorney, he outlined how he would address the situation in order to accomplish our goal, he would write a letter to the SpermIdiot and tell him exactly what he was going to do, when he was going to do it, why he was going to do it and what the consequences would be if he did not do it.
Never again did we have a snivling placator represent us in court during our efforts to protect our son's best interests. When we did have to go to court in SpermLand our TX attorney would map out the strategy and we would represent ourselves in front of the judge.
Only once did the letters from our shark not do the trick and we had to go to court. We won that one hands down.
I am glad to hear that moving to the County where your Skids CO from is a good thing for you and your DH. We considered doing the same thing but chose not to in order to avoid our son having any more exposure to his SpermClan than the 7wks of long distance visitation that the original CO ordered. If we had moved there we would have lost the ability to move away without SpermIdiot or court approval and we were not about to abandon our son to the full custody of the SpermClan.
Your move to the county where the CO is resident will likely go a very long way to pulling BM's teeth and gaining traction even with the corrupt bottom 10%er family law moron judges. Hopefully you will eventually get full legal and physical custody and have the ability to move to locations of better opportunity for you, DH and the Skids in the future if better opportunity is elsewhere.
Best regards,