On another note, now I'M supposed to take parenting classes?!?
They can all just go screw themselves because I'm not going. My DH, his ex and her fiance are the fuck-ups. NOT me. I have a clean record. I'm the oldest of 8 kids and have taken teacher/student observation courses. I was peer certified and currently a mentor on a girls website. they can all kiss my ass. Corrupt mediator too.
Who ARE all these people who are changing my life without MY permission?! H included! Don't discuss with me what custody arrangements.
Like this past week... BM asked to keep the girls an extra day and H said ok and that he plans on taking them to visit their Nana in AZ sometime next month. They would email each other further about details. A couple days after this take H comes, fuming to me about how BM is a scheming beezy who threw a stink about him keeping the girls until Thurs (as opposed to the usual Wed exchange)... That he was generous to let her have them an extra day but that he would keep them til Thur. BM said he only mentioned about him keeping them longer for AZ. I corrected him saying that the BM is right because the way she relayed it was exactly what I thought too. Here's the funny thing, obviously, he says nothing to me about the Thursday and I've made my plans. He just ASSUMES, he's going to leave them with me all day Thursday. Seriously??? Why would you fight to have them on Thur if you're leaving them with me?! You're obviously not spending time with them! Nor did you ask me.
Thank you very much, you take your girls with you because I have a day. I made him take them. End of discussion.
I find it interesting how he wants to fight for full custody and guess who's the one gonna have to watch them during the day??? Yours truely. Does that even seem right? hell no... He doesn't ask me. And I'm certainly not planning my day around what he wants. I have my own rights. My own chores. My own things to do. yet, can I say, I don't want you to have full custody???
For him to switch it around and say, Oh, you want my kids endangered with a bunch of fuckups who may accidentally kill them? Knowing their mother and her bf are bad to be around...
As a fellow SM on here says, "Not my kids, not my problem."
You chose an irresponsible, dumbass to have kids with and now you want to take them away from her? Uhhh yeah, that's YOUR mistake. You knew from the get go how this woman was. You knew what she was capable of and you knew she was white trash.
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Glad you stood up for
Glad you stood up for yourself. You REALLY need to discuss the issue of full time custody up front. I finally had this discussion w/the bf the other day. Because more and more BM throws the SD at him or his parents-we're almost at 50/50, and she gets support and doesn't buy the girl any clothes, etc.
I told him upfront that our relationship would never survive if he had full custody-that had he had it from day one and had time to work on her behaviors it might be different. I also told him when we met I was full custody mom and he was NOT-that changing things isn't fair now and that had he had full custody then would we even be where we are now and pursued a relationship?
It seems to me that his parents are almost open to taking the girl on fulltime...whatever they want to do-BUT I told him not to expect anything more then EOW from me. I did not sign up for this change and I have enough trying to raise my kids fulltime. It was a tough talk and hard to place my boundaries-he was hurt at first but now understands-took him a few days to get over the "it's unfair I'm with your kids all the time, more then my own D"..but I repeated myself-this is how we MET and got into this relationship. I do not have it in me to raise another womans child. WE would NOT make it and I shoudln't feel guilty for admitting that. He's getting it. You need to be realy upfront, it will be hurtful to him in the beginning but it's NO way to start a marriage honestly.
You are quite the smart fox.
You are quite the smart fox. Good idea. Obviously, we don't have trial until Nov but he has cops survellancing (sp) them (he has friends)... bc BM's fiance has 4 DUIs with a count of vehicular manslaughter... he has a suspended license. Yet BM allows him to drive them around. Since they aren't outstanding citizens, there's a chance that they also have possession of illegal substances.
So while DH won't really discuss future plans regarding him having custody, there's a likelihood of BM losing custody before the trial... since they live in a small town and the cops are on a lookout now.