Well, mixed blessings result from the hearing, and I can thank my DH for pointing out what I had missed. We didn’t get what we wanted, but we didn’t lose anything either. The judge didn’t even let BB say one word.

BB was barely on time as usual, wearing her frumpy clothes, a suit that didn’t fit right and looked like she slept in it. Her hair looked ratty and she didn’t have any make up on. She once again sat in the back of the courtroom, pursing her lips, while she sat there obviously uncomfortable, while we laughed and joked with our attorney.

After waiting for an eternity, we were the last to be called forward. Our attorney gave his opening argument, which lasted quite some time, pointing out all the problems of how BB doesn’t do this, that, or the other thing (you all know the story), and pointing out that she is neglecting SS. The judge did not allow BB the opportunity to refute anything our attorney said. When BB did try to say something, the judge held her finger up. BB tried to say something again, and the judge said “NO” in a very stern manner – like when you are telling a dog not to jump up on you. The judge didn’t even look up from her paperwork to address BB.

The judge then starts denying our motions, but made it perfectly clear that she understood DH’s concerns, and that there was no legal recourse – this went on for at least 10 minutes. There was no statutory authority to authorize her to grant our motions. She did point out, very clearly, that BB did need to communicate with DH, and that this was clearly a high conflict case, and email communication is the only way for them to communicate. She upheld the 48-hour response time, telling BB that, that is what the parenting plan says, and it needs to be followed.

Simply put, BB said she was going to “call DH out in court once again.” We had a perfect stranger talk smack about BB for 10 minutes, in court, on the record, pointing out how she is neglecting our son, and when BB tried to defend herself she was put in HER place. She directly addressed DH, and didn’t even look BB in the eye. The best thing was what the commissioner said to DH, “I understand your frustration, and I understand what you are trying to do here, but there is nothing I can do.” Did we lose, or did we win? Depends on how you look at it. Actually, SS lost because he is the one who wants to spend more time with his daddy … he is the one who sees daddy’s house as “home” (when he only spends 6-nights per month here), he is the one who says, “I want to stay with you forever daddy, and never see mommy again.”

You would think, since we didn’t get more time with SS, and BB gets to put him in private school, that she would have been on cloud 9 when she left. She was so pissed that she didn’t get to say anything, I don’t think she realized what happened. She didn’t hang out and gloat, like she did last time when technically she lost, I wonder if it’s sunk in yet? Probably not – she’s not the brightest crayon in the box.

BB may think she won because SS will go to private pre-school, BUT … she can’t afford it (we barely can), she will now have to pack his lunch every day, the pre-school doesn’t give the kids naps, and she is a stickler about SS getting his nap – he can be quite whiney when doesn’t get his nap. HE HE HE HE, she is the one who will have to deal with it … she let her stubbornness, and her desire to hurt DH, override her common sense (if she has any), and in the end, the only one who loses is SS.

Our one mistake may have cost us what we were asking for … local court rules have page limits, and the way the commissioner interpreted them is NOT the way attorney or I interpreted them. So, the commissioner didn’t read our Reply. Our attorney said night before the hearing, that our Reply strongly spun the case in our direction … unfortunately, commissioner didn’t read it. Lesson learned …

We will follow the parenting plan to the letter of the law, and expect her to do the same. As we have learned from our fellow SP’s with older SKs … the kids always figure out the truth in the end.

~ Katrina