It’s been awhile since I posted. Thanks for all of the support, ladies. I took my hiatus because Erik and I fought so badly one night over Andrea’s behavior (or lack there of). I just wasn’t sure if loving Erik and Jacob was worth putting up with Andrea. I’m still not sure, but we are trying some new things, and hopefully they will work. This email will be a bit long, in order to catch everyone up on things.

Last Monday (the 13th) we got an TM from Andrea that said “for water play.” We were confused so we TMed back and said “what for water play?” She replies with “too bad you didn’t bother to ask Jacob or I about the books, they were in the show & tell box.” WHAT!!! What the heck does that have to do with water play? Of course in Sunday night’s barrage of bitchy emails from her she said she didn’t feel the need to produce the updates when we ASK, and she will give us whatever information we need. But in this TM thing she said we have to ASK!! So we sent her an email asking her which it was … we were going to have to ask or was she going to tell … wait, I forgot … with her, it’s “don’t ask don’t tell.” LOL

I think I shared about Jacobs inappropriate behaviors at school, but just quickly … Jacob was yelling at his teacher, telling her to shut up, not doing what he was asked, then throwing a temper tantrum when he’d get in trouble, lying, crawling over (and under) the girls’ bathroom stalls, showing himself to another boy, and farting in another boys face. For some 4yos this may not be cause for alarm, but for Jacob it is … even his teacher said to us, “this isn’t my Jacob.” We had some behavior issues the weekend of the 10th too, sent Andrea an email, but of course never heard back.

On Wednesday the 15th Andrea called Erik to tell him that Jacob had been having accidents for the last 3 days. This had not been a problem before we got him, but he did wet his pants 3 times that weekend. We told her that in the email, but of course she hadn’t read it yet. They decided they’d brainstorm and get back with each other. Erik was very concerned, so he tried to call her back after we talked – she didn’t answer. She called back right at 7:30, and said “oh, I didn’t think you wanted to discuss this any further.” Hello!? Did they not say “I’ll talk to Katrina, you talk to Ian, and we’ll see what we can come up with?”

Anyway, that was the night we got into a huge fight. We presented a whole bunch of issues to Andrea, not blaming anyone, but making suggestions. She blew every single one of them off. So, Thursday morning I called his teacher to see when he was having his accidents. Last time (in May) it was between 5 and 5:30, just before Andrea would pick him up. He’d never have an accident on the days we were to pick him up. His teacher said they are happening at random times. I explained how we had tried to talk to Andrea about the behavior issues, but to no avail. So, I asked if we could do a parent teacher conference, and she said yes … she happened to be free that evening.

So, we showed up around 5pm, waited for Andrea. Overall the meeting went well. Of course several of the things we mentioned that could be the problem, were brought up by his teachers – gee, we aren’t as dumb as she thinks we are. Anyway, at the end we all sat down with Jacob and Friday he had a 3-star day. The biggest thing the teacher said was probably causing the problem was sensing tension, and overhearing conversations. Gees, that’s 2 of the 3 things we brought up.

About 5 minutes after we leave the school, Andrea calls Erik … she chews his ass for not letting her know ahead of time that we were planning on doing this, and that she felt ambushed. Erik apologized for not letting her know we were coming, and explained that we figured if she knew what we wanted to do, she would not let it happen. He told her she’s never been open to communications before, so why would she think she would be this time around. She said she didn’t think it was fair that we didn’t invite Ian – again, Erik said, “same thing, and this isn’t about Ian, it is about Jacob.” She kept bringing it around to be about herself and/or Ian, and 2-3 times Erik had to say “this was about Jacob and what was in his best interests.” Of course where was Jacob the whole time this conversation was going on? IN the back seat, listening to every word she said. Or, she always has the DVD player in the car, maybe she put his head phones on … yes, she even lets him watch that thing on short trips (we don’t).

Jacob has been asking to play soccer. Well the fall schedule came out and there is a soccer camp this coming week, so we enrolled Jacob in that, and for fall soccer (on Saturdays). We had tried to talk to Andrea about it before doing it, by TMing her and letting her know that Erik would like to talk to her about soccer for Jacob, would she please call Friday night. Erik called around 7:15pm to congratulate Jacob on his 3-star day, and they chatted. When they were done Erik figured Andrea would talk to him about soccer. NOPE!!! Jacob handed the phone back to Andrea and she asked if he was done, he said yes, and she said “well, okay then” and hung up the phone. She refused to talk to Erik about soccer – typical.

So, we sent her an email advising of the soccer, telling her that there would be two more days of “soccer camp” when she gets him back, and then the games start on October 6th. We said “we hope you’ll take the opportunity to be involved in soccer.” We are guessing she won’t, and we will advise the coach as much. We will probably show up to each game, since I’m sure she won’t bother to tell us that she is going. We told her we’d give her the schedule when we get it.

Tonight, Sunday night, we got a nasty email from her about the parent-teacher conference … how we didn’t include Ian, she can’t trust Erik, he lied to here … we decided we were done playing nice. First, she doesn’t have time to read the emails and respond to the ones that actually have to do with her son – like the soccer one, but she has time to send him a bitch out email. NICE!!!

Anyway, so that’s the drama with her … shortly after I sent the Hiatus email Erik and I decided last Wednesday that we weren’t going to talk to her anymore … she doesn’t respond to our update emails, or any other emails for that matter, she hangs up on him on the phone, etc … so we just weren’t going to say anything to her. We are still going with that tactic … we aren’t even going to send her “our” update email after we have him, unless there is a problem that she needs to know about – and even then we are going to scrutinize.

We did respond to tonight’s bitchy email, but we weren’t nice. We don’t plan on sending anything unless it’s a response to her. It’s taking all the self control I have not to “reach out” to her. URGH!!! Anyway, our basic plan is to live our lives when we have Jacob the way we normally would. We aren’t going to ask her for any more extra time.

Okay, it’s almost 12:30 and I’m finally tired, and OMG!!! Erik isn’t snoring!!!!

Take care ladies, and thanks again for all the support.