When did you realize what you were dealing with..

Yesterday SO, myself, SD and 2 of her friends were at the beach. (I like to go every week in the summer on my day off) SO was sleeping, SD and her friends were doing their thing and I was hanging going through social media. I got up went to see what the girls were doing.. digging in the sand looking for sand fleas haha. Joked around with them for a few minutes and walked backed.

I sat back down came on here and read a few things.. and thought to myself.. BM has literally no clue about anything about her kids. Literally nothing. She's so lost in who they actually are that must be why she resorts to baby talk (when she does actually talk to them) and constant time hops from 10+ years ago.

She doesn't know their friends, foods they like, clothes they like.. just nothing.

After the fact that she honestly was going to miss SS17s graduation if it rained was just the nail in the coffin for me.

I have let BM make me upset for her extreme lack of involvement WAYYY to much. I have to let it go.

So... even though there were MANY things in between this story (first year of SO and I dating) but, this was my first really big WOW she sucks momemt...

I met SO nov. 2015, met kids end of Jan. 2016. Christmas Eve 2016 rolls along. This is technically our "first" Xmas together. SO had to work all day (8-6) so we planned that presents with skids in the am, I drop skids off to BM around 10, I met up with SO at his job around 11 and hang with him until he is out. He picks skids up on his way home. Cool right?

BM texts SO Xmas eve around 1pm and says how she will be dropping skids off home at 1pm Xmas day because her and then boyfriend (now husband) have plans......

Excuse me what??

I say to SO WTF?? She knew you were working right?? And didn't plan to have a dinner for the kids??! NOPE. Nothing planned and was just going to drop them off to me...

I was confused on how she seriously wasn't going to spend the day with them KNOWING their father was working and just going to drop them off to me (I had been staying at SOs for like 3 months 100% got rid of my apartment in nov. 2016) and I had not even know the kids a year at this point.

So I scrambled to buy stuff for a nice dinner etc. It turned out good.

At that point I knew.. I knew she was going to be a real issue.

I was still "cool" with her at that point and SO was still very much doing whatever she said.. but.. this is when things started getting south between BM and I...

MissK03's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

I knew ET was going to be

I knew ET was going to be problematic the first time I met her. She looked me up and down and turned away.

When I knew ET and I were never going to be on the same team was when she tried to take Christmas away from DH (about 5 or 6 years ago at this point).

When I knew ET gave up on her kids was when she married a dude she'd been dating for all of a month (so 2 years ago almost).

ET knows the surface level stuff about her kids, but she couldn't help either of them if they truly needed it. Not financially. Not academically. Not emotionally. I feel bad that THAT is the environment the boys grew up in, and it has only been in the last few months that I've realized how bad and disconnected as a mother she has been.

ET and BM should be friends.

When we were dating BM texted

When we were dating BM texted DH that she had decided to take SS(7 or 8?) off meds (add), without even talking about it and put him on a very special and expensive diet program instead. She just assumed DH would immediately adapt and pay for this. When DH texted that he didn't feel it was a good idea, she instantly replied with a vile string of profanities and vicious personal attacks. Not one attempt at a conversation about the matter just immediate rage.

Apparently though DH had 50% custody he had no right to disagree with her on anything...

that's the first time the lightbulb went off for me

Nope can't disagree LOLL.

I knew from day 1

DH had warned me, but if you haven't dealt with someone like this before, you kinda don't believe it until you see it.

BM ceased contact the day DH introduced me to the kids. She came to pick them up, we met, said hello, she was flying out the door with skids in tow and we could hear her screaming at them in the car the whole way down the street. She called DH 5 minutes later and started screaming at him, he hung up on her (she was still driving with skids in the car!). That day ended in a text message from her stating that he was not going to see the kids ever again and she wanted no further contact from DH. What a peach!

*tires smoking as they pull

*tires smoking as they pull away* I'm surprised I didn't witness that when we were going to court LOLL.

Had heard horrible stories of exwife from my cousins wife

Who worked same company as my husband but different office and inlaws.

the real kicker was after 5 plus yearsof her tkaing off with sd's and ceasing contact, she had eldest sd reconnect with daddy who parroted mummy was ok now and a good person

the reality? Sd's confronted bio mum on the inconsistent lies she spewed about me and hubby and claimed she was a born again religious woman. Oh and the fact she had eldest daughter on that very day or reconnecting remind hubby he owed her mum a free home to be transferred solely into skids name and not exwife because marriage #2 (the affair guy whilst married to my husband) is falling apart and she doesn't want him claiming from her estate but she intends to milk him for every penny.

i foresaw and countered this manoeuvre and hubby withdrew a large chunk of savings and bought a home in my country solely in my name so should he die, I don't have to deal with batshit crazy.

life must suck so bad that for bio mum, her exhubby (my husband) whom she was married to for 14 yrs and thoroughly enjoyed abusing abd tormenting him, got pennies in the divorce (half of profit from sale of home), judge agreed she contributed nothing to hubbys quality of life vs us being married 5 yrs and hubby buying a home in my name as a stay at home housewife raising our 2 young kids. But nothing she can do.

you can always outmanoeuvre unstable batshit crazy!!

She wanted him to owe her

She wanted him to owe her FOREVER! BM didn't think I was going to make it.. that's what I honestly think. That's why she played nice in the beginning.

Yes thats it, he owes her forever for the privilege of a useless

Uterus that reluctantly managed to have 3 kids whose pregnancies she tried to sabotage.

The divorce means its over and you get on with your lives. She actually had eldest sd repeatedly tell my husband that she didn't think her marriage was gonna survive. My husband's response to that message was ignore. He didn't dignify it with a response.

why should my husband even care 1% that her marriage is falling apart? She treats people horribly, she's a lying cheating whore!! She has whats coming for her because she deserves it!!

if my husband never told eldest sd at age 23 that he had no concerns feelings or responsibility towards her mum because 1) she is married and her husbands problem and 2) hubby is married to me and has 2 young kids with me who are his responsibility and concern, sd would non stop parrot bio mum and stepdad bs!!

The fact sd's are on bio mums side to remove us by having daddy transfer assets like he's an atm when his first priority is to care financially for his minor kids, I wasn't gonna tolerate a marriage with that nonsense.

Hubby has guilty daddy delusional syndrome. I told him the fact sds had sought to remove us off his estate proves it. His retirement money and insurance payout from his job is solely assigned to me. Because skids would all be adults if he died on the job.

We were living separately

And dating. Bm had a problem from the get go with ss and dh visiting at mine, rather him 'babysitting' ss at her house on his time.

She had many other problems, but the first time I realised what a total cow she was, was when she was first challenged by dh about bad behaviour. He sent her a text to the effect of why are you bad mouthing me to lifers brother in passing, over a change in arrangements you happily agreed to? I don't appreciate the world being told I'm pushing my son out'

Well she came to collect ss that evening and wheelspun the car away at high speed. Childish, dangerous, and hates being called out

When SO started calling BM

When SO started calling BM out on her actions she almost every time would start CRYING like a toddler getting in trouble. Pathetic.

When SO started calling BM

When SO started calling BM out on her actions she almost every time would start CRYING like a toddler getting in trouble. Pathetic.

Met DH 8/2000. XMAS 2000 I

Met DH 8/2000. XMAS 2000 I bought presents for his kids, I had met them briefly once or twice. I thought it was a nice gesture to get them a little something. Nothing major, they were 8y/o and 4 months old at the time. BM threw the gifts in the garbage. That's when I knew.

It got progressively worse from there. Sometimes I sit and ponder, why did I endure all those years of BM drama, all those fights, all those soul-crushing encounters, and problems? At the time - it was a power thing. I refused to let her win. I refused to allow her to destroy my relationship with my DH. That is why I stayed in the relationship. Fast forward - it's been almost 21 years. Skids are done and gone, BM is nonexistent and DH and I have remained strong. I am glad I endured and didn't give up. I love him, he is a beautiful human being and now we can grow old together.

Of course she threw them away

Of course she threw them away.. Ughh don't want the skids liking you..

After bankrupting DH, Satan

After bankrupting DH, Satan left him for Mealticket, who she'd been having an affair with for over a year before they separated. DH and I started dating a year after his divorce was final.

Shortly after we started dating, she called DH at work. She was in his house and wanted to know if he'd had a girl over. She reprimanded him for seeing someone without consulting her first. She said she was going to take out a Restraining Order so that my son and I could not go into "her" house, have contact with "her" dogs, or have contact with her child, in that order. Since she didn't have a key, I immediately changed the code on his garage, and when DH informed her she was no longer allowed on the property, she threatened to have us arrested.

In that conversation, she told DH I was getting close to him because I wanted to get my hands on her knick·knacks she still had stored in his house. Later in the same conversation, she referred to me as his sugar momma. DH and I both make a lot of money.

She told him she was going to let me know what an abusive man he is, as if I'd have a conversation with her crazy azz. Twelve years later, I'm still waiting to see the abusive side of this smurfy man.