I think I had a cry-baby moment yesterday. A lot of what I said is true...and I really can't stand SO's daughter, and no - she is not an angel. To say the least. So, while I understand that there are things 10-year-old girls will do...I think she doesn't get enough credit for the amount of damage that she causes while she's here. Even my own parents will just say, "MissE, she's a little girl - get over it. She'll do dumb stuff." Or whatever the excuse may be. My parents are happily married for 30+ years, so I don't feel they have an accurate handle on what life is like in a "blending" situation and they want to believe that she's just a poor little COD who would NEVER EVER do anything to hurt anyone else. SMH. If I had done any of the things she's allowed to get away with in our home (and theirs), my mother would've smacked me right across the face - without thinking about my feefees, mind you. I think they both feel bad for her, and that drives their edge to stick up for her when I'm losing my mind. Clearly - I've stopped going to them when I feel stressed out about it.

I also think that leaving my partner at this juncture would be doing my sons a huge disservice. My DS1 is so enamored with his daddy that I know it would cause him serious harm to have to "miss" one of us at times. I'm also not unhappy enough to share him and fight SO for time with him, that alone tells me that I really need to work on myself and my relationship. I know my hormones have me on a roller coaster of sorts right now, and I need to stop letting that define how I behave. I'm 26 but I'm not a kid anymore and I need to stop. I also liked the advice I got yesterday about realizing that my SO loves his daughter the way I love my sons and if I want him in my life, I need to just get above my feelings for her and play nice. I don't need to stretch myself as much as I have been and just be polite and kind while she is here...and stop doing the extras that make me resentful. She's not my kid, I don't want her as my kid, so why am I letting my SO pressure me into doing more than I want to?

I think that's a discussion he and I need to have, especially before we make any plans for the future. I don't think we can plan to get married in the state we are in, I think I need to work on myself and then I can better commit my heart. It's becoming more and more clear to me that I really haven't committed myself 100%, as much as I thought I had. I've always had an exit strategy...and that's something I need to address. I do have a therapist, and I'm going to be giving her a call.

Thank you, ladies!