Remember my mom was a single mother, who worked two jobs most of my childhood. So for the most part, all the things that I wasn't supposed to do, were sort of easy to hide. Would it have been different if dad was around? maybe. Dad was a preacher junky, who lived in and out of prison most of his life. Dad is also one of those that I learned my dos and don't's from. Major DON'T! don't smoke crack! Serious note, this is also the year I met my dad for the first time. The same year Wendell and I moved closer to my mom, dad came home. My nerves are through the roof because even if dad wasn't so much of a father I still respected him as a parent. He's not just an ex-crackhead but before he was a preacher, a Veteran, and the guy my mom loved enough to marry. When I gave the news to my mom that dad was coming over to meet for the first time. She made her way over to my place, bringing bags and bags of groceries and all of my siblings. I'm a born southerner so mama cooked the best dang pot of gumbo that day. 

Dad hugs me and kisses me, and hugs me more, and kisses me more. He's smiling and enjoying the moment, reuniting with his ex-stepfamily. After all the grins and hugs, my nerves began to ache. It is now time to introduce Wendell to my dad as my bf. I just turned 18 so of course, I think I'm grown. "Dad, This is Wendell my bf, Wendell this is my father Ray". Wendell: " Nice to finally meet you sir" Dad: "BOYFRIEND! That's a grown-ass man!" The only word that popped up in my head was" mutherfuckershitgotdamn." Dad just came home and he's going back. 

My father gave a look that was soul-wrenching. A look that pushed me to never defend Wendell again. That was the last He spoke of it that night, but it wasn’t over. I actually believe that wasn’t even the beginning of their new father and son-in-law relationship. Dad did not approve and everyone knew it, especially Wendell. My father did not go home that night. He didn’t care about a bed or comfort. Dad was a true prison bird so the floor in the living room did him just fine. Once the night fell and everyone went home and tucked themselves in. Wendell who I thought was a man was locked in the room, never returning, not even for a drink of water. I slept on the floor next to my dad that night. Before closing my eyes, I laid there with my head on his chest listening to the beat of his heart and the flow of the air through his lungs. It was a love and security I’ve never felt before. A love that I knew I didn’t want to let go of. A connection of a father and daughter that I never knew existed. I knew he was in my life to stay this time, and it wasn’t enough room for Wendell.

P.S…To Be Continued… 

MelV.