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Here's a twist

mama_althea's picture

I live for the weekends in that they are a reward for the hectic work/school week. I hate that SD is a feature of every single weekend. I know it sounds bad just saying it like that, but don't feel like going through the whole lengthy justification right now. I know most of you get it.

This weekend I'm going out of town with one own-biokid and the other one is going to his dad's. Should be a welcome break, right? Well, my twisted mind is bothered by the idea of SD luxuriating around my house basically unsupervised and without my presence. I should be glad I'm not there to see what's going on, but I'm not liking the idea of her having free reign and access to my home, pets, food, electronics...whatever. Maybe it's the selfish only child in me coming out. Instead of being glad SO and SD will have one on one time (which I do promote at least part of every weekend), I'm disgusted by the thought of her playing him around all weekend like a puppet.

Minor sub-topic: I'm also a little perturbed that the circumstances of this weekend provide for my own free hotel room- daughter will be with other students. SO did not have the remotest thought of coming with me since he has SD every weekend. Oh well. I'll read or watch movies by myself and eat snacks in one bed and sleep in the other (phobic about crumbs in the bed).

Comments

mindex's picture

Hey, enjoy the " alone" time and bring anything and everything with you that you do not want SD messing with!
I hear ya sister !
My entire movie collection and CD collection is in the trunk of my car, along with my i pod touch, the "good" towels and my nice pans from the Rachel Ray Collection that I do not want MY SD's ( age 16 and 19 ) to ruin while I am not home.
And I am not an only child !
Just a tired StepMom who worked hard to have NICE things and wants to KEEP them that way !
With your most prized possesions in a safe place, you can R-E-L-A-X !
Min

ThatGirl's picture

Try to enjoy your time away. I know the feeling, tho! As much as I dreaded being home with skids, leaving home and wondering what trouble they would cause actually seemed worse. It's too bad SO can't skip a weekend with SD to spend it with you. It stinks that the two of you can't have a weekend alone.

alwaysanxious's picture

maux- I've wondered about our Skids. They MUST have some sort of social problem that they cannot make friends. SD15's school mates have told her that she always looks like she's mad and her friends have even told her she is not nice to people sometimes. She changes friends a lot which leads me to believe that people get sick of her attitude. The other day she asked me "was my dad like this when he was in school?" Its like she wants validation for being an asshole because her dad was.
At some point they have to realize its NOT everyone else, its THEM.

What 20-something doesn't have friends to go out with, besides their dad???????

mama_althea's picture

Thanks, ladies.

Saturday there's a Dad & Kids activity he can take her to for several hours, but other than that I predict he'll be at a loss what to do. SD spends more time hanging out with my son than with SO on the weekends. He likes to spend his weekends repairing stuff in the garage or yard, so SD will just kind of punk around, whine, complain, and chase my pets when my son isn't around. Secretly (well except for spilling my guts here) I hope she annoys the crap out of SO this weekend.

cant win for losin's picture

I get you completely! My BF spawn is at my house (bf moved in with me) one weekend a month. I am not here that one weekend a month. All the while at the beginning of this new arrangment it drove me nuts to think of this kid at my home with my clueless not very good supervisor BF.
It helped me staying busy. Visiting my fam, hangin with my sis, etc... I came to realize, what i dont know, cant hurt me.
If shit gets broke, BF will replace it. If its not replaceable, heads will roll. My BD and BS have pad locks on their doors so the kid cant get in there. I make sure the junk food is either put away, or i purposely dont buy any that will be there on that weekend. BF can buy his own kid junk.
Pretty much, my house is "boring" anyway.
At first it bothered me, but then i thought "hmm, bein away from my own house one weekend a month and not knowin what the kid is doin is a hell of alot better than bein around him."

hismineandours's picture

Yes this disturbs me too-my ss13 is pretty craptastic to me so I dont much enjoy being around him. It has motivated me to take off at times during the weekends with my kids and I definitely know the feeling. I enjoy being away from ss, but I dont like the idea of him in my house without me to keep an eye on him. My dh tends to do his own thing and also sleeps alot so that means ss would just be treating my kitchen like his personal buffet (which is one of the biggest gross out factors for me-I always wonder if he touched the bread, the lunchmeat, the grapes, etc, etc), I wonder what blankets he used and peed on, was he in my room? lying on my couch with his nasty unwashed body? I know it sounds mean but at least when i'm at home I am able to monitor things a little and prevent some of these little disasters from happening.

cant win for losin's picture

Indeed hismineandours. When i come back on sunday BF has already left to return the spawn, and im scrubbin down the house. Lysol this, bleach that, washin this, disinfecting that.
On the extra gross stuff, i make sure i point it out to BF and make him clean it up. Ex..dried boogers n snot on my couch!

mama_althea's picture

Yes- monitoring. That word didn't occur to me before

Even though I'm not all that engaged with SD, I monitor everything. Like keeping track of which potato chip bag the crumbs fell out of her mouth and back into, that she's not chasing the animals, which blankets and pillows she put her dirty feet on, what she coughed on (perpetual second-hand smoke cough, I think, but nobody gets it checked out), going in my room and/or rifling through my stuff.

SO is so clueless and doesn't see things that I see. I know it makes me sound like I micro-pick. I don't know, maybe I do...but if there were any boundaries, manners, or basic hygiene involved, I wouldn't feel like I had to keep an eye on things.

Most Evil's picture

Can you possibly board your pets with someone while you are gone??

I would hate to think of anyone tormenting my sweet baby (dog) ... I would kill!!

My vet keeps them very cheap and I know she will at least be safe there!!!