Here I am again, venting about SS10 and the delusional bios attached to this child!

*This is a long one* 

Lets just say I put a end for SS10 to e-learn his schooling in this house... Why? Because both bios don't seem to understand that their spawn requires serious adult supervision while he is remote learning!!!
 

Since, he's started, he doesn't know how to login (blame bios for not showing him, they do it for him), he doesn't complete his work and homework, he logs off early, he mutes and take off the camera during learning sessions and basically doesn't give a crap about school, at all!!! 
 

I refused my services to help because bios seem to believe that little "responsible" SS can do it on his own. (Sarcasm) Teachers have been in contact with BM advising her of all the things going on. She, I have to admit is "somewhat proactive" about his schooling, BUT... There is a bit, both BM and DH feel that no matter how many times they talk to good ole SS to get his shit together- they actually believe and trust he's actually going to do it. This is where both their lack of parenting is atrocious! They make this kid responsible to do the work, get online and pay attention and with the HOPES he will participate, engage himself and also do his homework as soon as remote learning is done for the day!!!

ME: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHAHAHAH!! 
 

He does not do any of that and sure hell never gets his act together! He goes right on his phone after school and doesn't do his homework and feels he can get away with not doing it. 
 

Yesterday was a great day to advise DH, he will no longer have SS10 here to do his schooling!! 
 

This is how it all went down: Since it was raining DH and I are not working (we run an exterior business) therefore we are home. It is his responsibility to get the spawn up, get his behind ready (at least wake him up to wash up, brush his teeth and hands) and have him ready to sit his lumpy ass in front of the computer to login remotely for school... (SS school starts at 8:30am) Why on gods green earth is DH still sleepy at 8am and I inform him "nicely" that he should wake up his spawn and get him ready for school. DH is groggy and responds "in a few minutes." Me: Uhm no! You don't get to have "few minutes" this is his schooling and you should get him up and ready and make him a bowl of cereal too so he isn't hungry all day while he's online!!! Clearly DH doesn't care and wait his "few minutes" which is like 15 mins. So now, I'm like COOL I'm done, I tried and if he doesn't give a fuck neither should I. Then I hear and watch DH get up and then takes SS almost 10 mins to get up. NOW, DH is getting upset that his pride and joy didn't listen to him or heard him say to get up and he has no time to fully wake up and get ready for school nor eat... WOW! what a winner I got! DH plops kid in chair opens laptop logs him in cause again, showing this child how to do it himself is so hard. Now, I'm up from all the bullshit commotion. All the while, my own daughter has to do remote learning, as well, she is a junior in high school. I know she's up, I heard her get up take a shower, I heard her in the kitchen fixing herself some toast and made an egg and went right back into her room so can be ready. NO PROBLEM ON MY END, I raised my child to be responsible. Moving on, so I check in on her and say good morning and ask if she is ok and ready for school, we have small talk and then I let her be and close her door so she can gets the crackin on her school day. Back to "The Boy", he's just sitting there half awake and I can hear the teacher log on and say good morning, of course nobody says anything back and I feel bad because it's dead silence, nevertheless she continues.
 

Before I continue on the day about "THE BOY", the day before BM FaceTimed DH and SS and they both had a "serious talk" with SS about his lack in his schooling, his attention to school, his participation  what the teachers told her about him muting and turning off the camera during school, how he logs off early and etc.. they aren't yelling at him, but I see SS starting to cry because basically he got caught up and didn't think he would know, since they speak to the teacher and both parents are talking to him. Now in this talk they are expressing to him "you need to stop doing that and engage and start doing better". I'm like "Wow, putting it on him (well technically it's all on him) but what are you, as his parents, going to do to put an end to his bullshit?" Are you going to sit with him and make sure he's doing what he's suppose to? Are you going to do something like: take away his phone and games, as a consequence for his bad behavior and action when it comes to school? Like what are y'all gonna do to be on top of him and consistent with him about his education and schooling? Because all I hear is you guy STILL expecting him to just start "acting  responsible". Which will never happen until these two idiot start parenting and showing this kid some type of consistency and consequences for his lack of and so forth...

Back to the boy now- so I'm doing dishes, I look over and see SS, again has the computer on mute and the camera off. I hear the teacher calling his name and he isn't responding. I left that shit alone! Not my problem. Then I see he turns on the camera and places a smiley face emoji in front of his face so he doesn't show his face. I'm appalled at this point... Where is good ole DH? Glad I mentioned that he went back to lay down to be up on his phone, after he logged SS for school... So I grab his ass from up out the bed and dragged him over to SS and the computer- SS really quickly tried to hide what he did- but too late he is caught! I said to my DH- THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR SON UNSUPERVISED DURING SCHOOL! LOOK?! DH see the smile emoji and his teacher is calling his name and asking for him to take it down. DH IS PISSED!!! He takes down that bullshit and turns off the mute button gave his kid the biggest look of death and told his ass to get back to school and pay attention. Now don't get me wrong I know DH wanted to elaborate more but he's on school time so he's just festering his thoughts up until he can have "another failed serious talk" with SS. But, that's not the problem- the problem is DH and BM still leave this responsibility for this child to get his shit together on his own, when In fact, it's there freaking issue to supervise this kid!  It's already apparent he cannot be trusted, he is not responsible AT ALL or enough to be left alone unsupervised!!! DO YOU THINK THESE TWO IDIOTS GET IT BY NOW??? NOPE!!!   
 

Im at the point I'm done seeing this bullshit take place in my home, I'm sick of DHs lack of parenting happen here when I'm the only one who sees this (besides my BD16) and I shouldn't have to say anything but I'm sick of biting my tongue when something should be done. 
 

Therefore, I pulled DH in our room and told him if he cannot supervise his child while he has school he can no longer do his remote learning here!!  It is up to him, as his father, to be consistent with him and it's apparent he can't be trust and responsible enough to get his shit together! I shouldn't have to be the one to point out to you that he doesn't give a fuck and he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Clearly, you and his mother place this responsibility on him way to much and it's both on you two to get on top of it and him! I'm not this child's mother and if I was you better believe your ass this kid would get his shit together, when it comes to school. But since I'm not, I'm sick of watching you two boneheads leave it up to your "innocent" child to get it together when he shows both of you, time and time again, that he won't! What in the hell are you two doing to show this child that his bad behavior and actions require consequences??  What are you two showing him that you are engage and showing how important school is, when all you do is sit him front of a screen and leave him alone? He still lays up on his phone almost 13hours a day. He doesn't do anything but be on a phone, eat junk, never showers, I never see him brush his teeth, nonetheless change out of his dirty ass clothes, that he wears two maybe three days straight- and you know what this shit happens in this house under this roof and honestly- I'm sick and tired of watching the lack of parenting on your end. I would and could never allow such bullshit happen. I'd limit his screen time and make his ass do something else: like go the hell outside and play, or better yet he has all these toys and thing you bought for him and they never get touched! I would have his ass shower daily and make sure sometime throughout the day that his teeth are brushed (whether it be the morning or at night, but at least it's done) changes his god damn clothes everyday so he isn't in the same clothes for days straight! SHOW HIM HOW TO LOG ONTO HIS SCHOOL APP FOR REMOTE LEARNING for starters, until he gets it on his own without help! Make sure his ass is up in enough to be ready for school and he's eaten because otherwise he won't eat until they get a break for lunch! YET IM WATCHING NONE OF THIS SHIT HAPPEN AND I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! He is your child and you should WANT to limit his scree time! You should want a well groomed child and etc. WHY IS DOES IT TAKE ME TO YELL AT YOU ABOUT THIS!!??  AFTER TODAY, his visitation and his schooling is to be done somewhere else! Then if you someone else to put it on or have someone else be the responsible person for this child, because you seem to not be able to handle the job ITSELF- than be my effin guest! But I refuse to see and watch this nonsense take place under this roof!! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER AND WANT BETTER VS ACTING AND SHOWING YOU DONT GIVE A SHIT! He's a child not an adult- he's not your friend and you can't always be the "cool dad", this child requires consistency, structure, manners and respect. To which he lacks it all- and I blame you and his mother for that. I'm the only one who cares and yet I can't say shit because you two idiot get offended when people see how much you are both setting this kid up for failure!!  
 

I won't be surprised this child fails 5th grade! He's lucky he got a pass from 4th grade, I almost guaranteed he failed but by law they made sure all kids moved forward in their grades! 
 

Lets just say DH was quite irate and yet also very ashamed (he started to cry) and you know what I didn't feel remorse at all! I shouldn't have had gotten to this point of anger towards him about this little boy! I'm his life partner and when I see certain things, as a mother myself, that he doesn't see for himself I should be able to discuss it with him like an adult. But that doesn't work and he can't handle it and he gets defensive. I use to walk on eggshells in the beginning just to talk to him about SS- before when he started coming around he had no table manners, never knew how to wash up before or after meals and yet- after trying to discuss is delicately with DH he still was on a defense! Like dude! WTF- this is your child and he doesn't know proper table manners?!? And yet when trying to have an adult conversation with you about it you get pissy? This isn't about him it about you and trying to do or show some positivity within this house for a growing little boy it's should appreciated that someone who cares about you and him and to see I want the best for his upbringing, but evidently you don't!

DH- left with SS and went to MIL house, after he was done with school, for the night, and personally I didn't care. MIL called me the next day and wanted to speak to me about what happened. I told her what happened, even how BM and DH conversated with SS, again, about his schooling and yet he went right back to doing what he wanted. I informed her about how DH allows SS to be on phone all day everyday and never limits its, how SS still has to be told to clean up after himself and stop being a slob, and etc. Yet, the moment I say one thing and yet I do it in such a way that it's not confrontational, i don't have a tone and I'm basically doing it a form of asking nicely- I'm still treated like my words mean shit. The fact that this is my house and I refuse this type of behavior and lack ofs to constantly happen and I get treated like I have no adult status- is beyond disgusting and I wasn't brought up to be treated in that way and I don't believe I should have to witness this under my roof! MIL agreed that it is not conducive to have to witness this and she even knows how her son and my SS are because I kicked them out before and they stayed with her! Should couldn't handle it and how she seen it with her own eyes how he just lets this child run the show and yet no one can say a word. Therefore she understood why I don't want either them here during his schooling or visitation. Until he (DH) can get his shit together with SS and show he can be a consistent parent and under this roof- I will have them come back slowly but until then IT IS A NO FOR ME! 
 

I know everyone will have their opinion of me- and how I may have been rough and etc. but when is enough ENOUGH?!? I tried and tried over so many years to talk and play the role and not say anything, but when it's under my own roof and I care and love these two and try hard to be the best wife, mother and step mother, JUST to get treated like I don't matter. Well, yeah it's gonna happen in some form of confrontation with my DH. He's a damn adult and if he can't handle it then he needs help. I've been willing to go to a counselor and therapy for the betterment of us and our kids, but when it's not consistent, then it's not good for me or my peace of mind, sanity and health. 
 

SORRY NOT SORRY!