okay so SD(15) came home from BMs again today(BM actually did take her back to finish visit after her drama, ),As usual there were promises and plans- a shopping spree, six flags, and all that- they were supposed to be camping during the 4th so we couldn't take her to do our traditional thing cause we have had her the last several years in a row- mostly because BM rarely does anything for any holiday- except a self pitty party!

so the spree was reduced from a few hundred dollars(funny- BM now owes us atleast 1G in med. bills)into about 50 total, then SD got to do nothing for the 4th- sat in house on the day cause BM was in bad mood after loosing her ex to another women(ex usually means there would be no loss,huh? but they only divorced for other reasons), then six flags never happened either, and SD was holding BMs hand trying to keep BM from acting like a psycho about her ex getting a GF---- yea let the fun begin!!!

So I am a little peeved right now, I was really hoping this time could be helpful to SD, not detrimental to everything she has been working so hard to figure out for herself through therapy.
I know BM is selfish, and really doesn't think before any action, but since SD has been trying for over a year to improve her coping skills, and deal with her life issues(yes I am aware we are all part of the issues but I have a pretty good idea of who's volume is biggest) and everytime SD goes there BM draws her into BMs drama, and continually wants SD to be more concerned with BMs problems- even though they are so self created in my opinion cause otherwise she has nothing to do- she might have time for a job if she weren't making a soap opera for herself!
I am not shocked by all this but it's just ridiculous how two months ago BM was all freaked out that SD (all complete lies- but BM was likely talking to the little voices in her head when she heard this) wasn't going to therapy(hello- I sent you the bill- check the dates she's there almost weekly unless there's not a time slot for her- but that would take some common sense) and hadn't been on her meds(funny, I am the one who orders and fills SDs weekly case- uh she's been taking them),but then when she has SD she fills her every moment with BM bs!

I wish she would pull her head from wherever it is and see what she is doing to SD in the long run-
on the up side SD has decided to be more proactive in her therapy and admitted flat out she wants to figure out what goes on with her feelings before she does become an adult or go to college cause she knows these problems will not become easier then(yea- she listened to me tell her that I was screwed up for a long time as an adult because(in part) my family just tried to get on with life as usual after my moms death when I was 14, I never recieved therapy for anything and man was it hard),I really feel this is a turning point for SD, and am so proud of her for just saying what she feels she needs for herself!!!!

I feel like I /we are pushing a boulder up hill/ mountain and without BM trying to roll it over us it would be easier!
I know BM cares about SD,but she seems threatened that SD will be successful "with us", or that we are doing a better job than her---- how narsacistic can you be- its about SD not BM to us and if BM stopped trying to see it her way then SD would have it alot easier.

WOW THAT FELT REALLY GOOD TO GET OUT!!!
THANK YOU ALL