Before I continue let me just start off by saying I never thought I’d be blogging on a site for bio or step parents. When I was in middle /high school I used to blog a lot if you will. Anyone remember LiveJournal? Haha. I love writing, and I always forget how relieved I feel after. I used to write about everything. EVERYTHING. Makeup, friends, how mad I was at my mom, my boyfriend etc. Your typical teenage shit. And look at me now. Complaining and blogging about a choice I made to be a “stepparent.” But I sure am glad I found this site. #lifesaver

So anyways this is pretty much a continuation from my last blog post. I wanted to make sure I covered most of the background before I start getting into my rants. And I could type forever so I’m trying to section everything out so it’s not one long post. Because who even wants to read that?

So like I said, here we are a couple years later. Close to 3... SO and his daughter both live with me. One of the very first things I told him was that I will never discipline her. I will never tell her what to do or anything like that. Why? Because he is her parent and that’s his job, not mine. Also because I don’t want to take the chance of her being that typically bratty kid and saying I’m

not her mom or any of those snide remarks. Y’all know what I’m talking about. I don’t know how I would even react to that. But side note, I realize I go back and forth between saying his daughter and SD. SD is much easier to type but in reality I always refer to her as his daughter. It doesn’t feel natural to say she’s my step kid. That’s normal and ok right? 

Anyways, we have her on the weekends. Both sides are pretty flexible on switching or having extra days, no issues there. 

When she was first here she didn’t have any chores. Keeping her room clean but I do not count that as a chore. I did everything around the house. And this is how I am always. Cleaning is sort of a stress relief for me. Plus I just like things being clean. So then I started noticing myself getting annoyed because I would be doing all the cleaning while they both barely did anything. One of the responsibilities I gave SO was keeping the yard clean from the dogs. Then eventually he passed that as a chore to his daughter. Rightfully so. She cried about it at first and I ignored it because that was his thing he needed to deal with. He needed to learn how to teach her responsibility etc. Which goes back into a previous post about him having her so young, having a lot of help and never having her truly full time. Fine, it became consistent. 

I can be honest. There was and still are a lot of weekends where I’m just annoyed of the both of them. And it really surrounds the whole cleaning and chores category. SO and I both talked to her BM about chores. SD has even told us in a complaining way about what she does at her mothers house. Far more than what we ask her. Plus add in 2 younger brothers. As us oldest children in a family, we already know the responsibilities of having younger siblings. So we all agreed me and SO should definitely start giving her more responsibilities around the house. At first this was a hard pill for me to swallow because I didn’t know how I was going to let go. What more responsibilities could we give her that would be easy enough to handle while still being impactful to the household? Small things, we made it work. But here comes the irritation. SO was not consistent with holding her accountable. And it was something I felt I shouldn’t have to constantly remind the both of them. Especially him because he is a grown adult! And again this goes back into me not getting too involved in telling her what to do etc. Which sounds ridiculous, I know. But more on that later. 

So.. here’s my fault. Certain things, I will not ask for. I will assume you can read my mind. I assume all men are physic. So I assumed he knew what I wanted. Then after many weekends of being annoyed we kind of figured things out. Then we started openly discussing what the expectations were from everyone. It would go good for a while then it would go right back to nothing. I would ask so many times and nothing. Then here comes Miss salty again. I got tired of asking for help so I basically just straight up said, I’ll do everything but I when I’m in the middle of cleaning, don’t be in my way. Don’t be sitting on your guys ass doing nothing cause that’s only going to piss me off. Do something, anything. Find something to do. Leave the house if you must. Again things would change and go right back to how they were. I tried being passive aggressive, I’ve tried asking nicely, I’ve tried being a total bitch. It would work sometimes but that’s it. This went on for a long time. And I can honestly say that was the only thing we argued about. And it wasn’t even arguments more like bickering and disagreements. 

This is where I must break and continue another day. I finally found a place to vent that I have so many thoughts running thru my mind.

Once again...to be continued.