I just got my copy of "A Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife" and so far I have to say it's an awesome book. I'll be reviewing it and commenting on things I read as I go.

This paragraph struck a bit of a chord with me because it's how I've been feeling for a while.

"I'm just not as free as I used to be, "says Grace[...] "No more hanging out at the gym, or Saturday afternoon movie marathons. Sometimes I get resentful about the ungodly amount of time we spend with the kids and the way their schedule impacts mine. I have so many more limitations on my life due to all these people: the kids, the ex-wife, the ex-wife's husband's ex-wife. It is one thing to share your life with one guy, but it is quite another to share it with a random group of people not of your choosing-particularly given the fact that up until a few years ago, the only beings I had to contend with on a daily basis were my coworkers, my friends, and my cats."

This is so true for me. Granted I was married before I met David, and I was living with someone right before we started dating, but it was still all about me. I could do what I wanted to do and I didn't have to take a child into consideration. I could get upset about something and scream at my significant other, the cats, or no one in particular and not have to worry about making a child cry or frighten him or even about making him worry. It's not the same with a husband/boyfriend because they understand that you're upset or frustrated and they'll deal with it so long as you don't say something that is completely out of line, but a child doesn't understand this so I've had to learn to vent quietly.

I have also learned to value a quiet house. What a commodity that is! Alone time is at a "high price" when you're a custodial stepmother, or even being able to talk to your significant other without having ears constantly listening! I miss the times when it was just me and my cats, but I know I would miss the little booger even more.

And yet another great quote:

...I have discovered that I have a much lower threshold for bad behavior from my stepsons than my husband or his ex-wife do. I think something happens to parents when they give birth to a baby: I cal it the "You're so cute you can do no wrong" bond. When you parent someone else's child, you simply don't have the same bond. A snotty attitude combined with a "You're not the boss of me" comment takes on a whole new meaning when you're the stepmother.

This is a constant struggle with me. As much as I swear I have learned to be patient, every time my stepson acts up I feel this *thing* bubbling up inside of me. It's this, "he can't do that!" thing that I can't even describe, and I have a desire to put a stop to it right now but when I do I get told that I'm too hard on him or he's only a child let him be a child. I have a problem with expecting this child to act like a grown up. Granted he's going to be 10 and he acts WAY more mature for his age, but I have to remember that he is in fact only 9.75 years old. I have had many talks with my boyfriend about this, I have talked, cried, gotten frustrated, and I have learned to let this go because in the end I feel as if I'm the one that gets shot in the foot and I'm tired of it. Usually in the end it turns out that I was right all along and everyone sees this, but it just takes time for them to see what it is that I see and I have to remember that they need to learn things on their own as well so giving them that space when they decide not to listen to my advice is a good thing. I've learned to say it once and leave it alone, and then when they figured out that what I was saying makes sense, then I get the wonderful "I told you so" gloating moment, of course without pushing it too far.

I think this is pretty much my wrap up of Chapter 1 with my little commentaries and personal views on it. A hearty conversation on these topics and more insight would be wonderful!