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taking a room

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 8:35am

Ok, so i decided to take one of the rooms for the baby. the 9 year old's spare room because i figured that she would give the smallest reaction and plus she doesn't have too much stuff in there.
i'm just going to put the crib in there, a little closet and then arrange stuff on shelves. that's it.

i figured this would be the only solution.. well i'll do it

the thing is, do you have any advice on how to deal with the SD's reactions? i honestly don't know what they could do. they could take the room back,they could ruin baby's stuff, they could ..idk. they're terrible girls and i have no idea what they would do.

since i'm doing this against dh's will he's not going to back me up and deal with them,because he agrees with them here, not me.

so how would you deal with it? they're not one bit scared of me. or anyone really.
i can't make them stop,shut up,anything, because they don't see me as authority and aren't afraid of me AT ALL.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 8:48am

I did read your blogs yesterday about the 3 girls and their 'owning' the whole upper floor. I, myself would not trust your Skids to be honest. Yes, you need and deserve the space, but will they harm the child while baby is up there?

You've 'taken' the space now so you'll have to wait to see what happens. Without DH's support and approval of this though, I don't think it's going to go down well. Your DH is an a$$.

If baby's stuff returns to the main floor, I suggest to set it all up between your bedroom and the living room. Yes, the living room. Not your typical or desired place to put a baby and supplies, but if DH won't allow upstairs (or baby isn't safe up there) I'd put it smack in the living room. Perhaps if DH isn't so delightfully comfy each evening because you've displaced his relaxing area (think recliner and/or sofa)he'll come to his senses and do something about his ridiculous daughters.

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:13am

But the baby stuff is in our bedroom. what's the point in moving it to the living room ? not like he will be bothered, he doesn't mind having it in the bedroom, so it won't bother him elsewhere

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:46am

Well, sure it doesn't bother him in the bedroom. He's not in there unless he's in bed. The point was to make things uncomfortable for him. Right now as long as he can squeeze his a$$ through to his bed, he's good.

You seem to do a lot of excusing and/or trying to justify this man's behavior. One would almost think you actually enjoy playing victim. You can't have any of the upstairs, you can't move, you can't have any say blah blah and on it goes. Is it sympathy you're looking for? Just a good vent? You knock down anything and everything. Ok, I 'get' it, for you the man rules the house, his children are very special and you? Well you are just the helpless obedient victim of a wife.

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:55am

well i guess i can try to make him uncomfortable. but i already decided to take sd9s room. if that doesnt work out then ill try to make him uncomfortable.

momagainfor4's picture

Submitted by momagainfor4 on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 8:50am

and he wants your baby to sleep where??
Maybe a few nights of keeping him up until 3am will make him realize baby needs a room??

I'm not sure I could stay with someone who completely treated me this way in an outright manner!! Much less have kids. but then here you are.

I don't understand why a kid that is only there eowe has to to have a separate bedroom?? Why can't the sd's all share a room?? The baby needs a room bc you'll need a place to put stuff. and to be up with the baby at night.

DH is being a class A stupid jerky mcjerkyton!!

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:14am

He thinks it's alright that the baby sleeps with us in the bedroom.

They're not there eowe, why do you think that? they live here

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:41am

its unfair to live in a house but not pay anything

we have a "household fund", we both give money in it and then we pay bills. he saves the receipts so they couldn't ask for more money which they do sometimes.

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 10:19am

well ok, i will pay for food and cleaning. well i usually do because he has no idea about it and he'd throw anything in and use it to clean

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:32am

Like a poster above said...move in yourself. How you could stand to sleep by a man that puts his kids above you and your childs needs is beyond me. I'd do an in house separation until your dh begins treating you like his wife and the queen of his castle. Quit paying the bills and save your money with the intention of moving out. Your gonna have to show this "man" that you DO have power...the power to decide you and your child deserve better. Until you start speaking up and respecting yourself why in the world would anyone else? You do this and your gonna find out whether or not your dh loves you and wants you to be his partner or if all he wants is a live in maid and sugar momma. Sounds like your taking the first steps towards respecting yourself. Keep posting and we'll help all we can

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 9:40am

what's sugar momma ?

erm, if i don't pay anything, i don't get anything. why would he give me food if he's the only one buying it ? why would he let me use internet if he's the only one buying it? why would he give me anything if it's HIS and I don't do ANYTHING?
Which i dont. i dont cook for them anymore because its just followed by tons of bitching. i dont clean SDs things. i dont do ANYTHING for stepkids and only some things for husband.
what logic does that have?
i sit around, contribute NOTHING, and he keeps giving me everything he buys? that just doesnt sound like a possibility.

and i said that i will have sex if i'm horny and won't if i'm not.
not that i'm horny now and want it now.

lucija's picture

Submitted by lucija on Tue, 08/06/2013 - 1:23pm

i'm not their mom. i'm only mom to my baby,not everyone in the house. THANK GOD

9, 15, 18.. well stb 18 and 15