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just a question

lucija's picture

what do you think is an appropriate time to come home for a
1) 9 year old
2) 15 year old
3) 18 year old (whenever because she's 18 ?! or ?)

and the same question about their bedtime.

just wondering. my dh and i have different opinions on this and i'm NOT meddling with his parenting at least not in this department.. but i just wanted to know how you steptalkers feel about it. Smile

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

I am probably pretty old school here, so be warned:
1. 9 year old, home by 8 pm, in bed by 9 pm on school nights, home by 9 pm, in bed by 10 pm on weekends
2. 15 year old, home by 9 pm, in bed by 10 pm on school nights, home by 10 pm, in bed by 11 pm on weekends
3. 18 year old, home by 10 pm, in bed by 11 pm on school nights, home by midnight, in bed by 1 am on weekends

I think kids these days don't get enough sleep, especially high schoolers. SD used to fall asleep at her desk in school, even in grade school, because BM and DH would let her stay up all hours of the night.

Disneyfan's picture

15 year old in the house by 10
18 year old in by 12
9 year old in by 8

We don't do bed times during summer and school breaks.

Willow2010's picture

9 year old should not be out to have a curfew.

15 year old should be home by 8ish on occasional school nights and 10:00PM on occasional weekends.

18 year old should be home 10ish on occasional school nights and midnight on weekends.

9 year old needs bedtime by 9:PM
15 year old needs to be in bed by 10:00ishPM
18 year old had no bedtime.

I think also depends on a few other factors. This worked for my family...it may not work for all.

Edit to add...like Disney ...We don't do bed times during summer and school breaks.

Anne Boleyn's picture

If you asked FDH when I first met him the 9 year old would be allowed to stay up until she felt like going to bed or maybe 3AM. And we don't need curfew times for anyone because they don't go anywhere and are not social. Now the youngest is 12 and bedtime is 10PM school nights and midnight weekends and summer. Which I think is liberal for her age but better than nothing.

twoviewpoints's picture

Depends on why they're out and about. Nine year old should have certainly have a set be home time and I'd not allow her to be running with her older sisters (too much age difference). Bedtime non-school 9:30 to 10pm, school 9pm.

The 15yr old, home on school nights by 9 (but I wouldn't let her run every night). But is flexible. As long as she's in her room and quiet, I couldn't care less when she closes her eyes...as long as she's still up at 6am (school days) and 8am non-school days.

The 18yr old, as long as she lived in my home curfew would be 12am (unless she's still a school girl). I'd make exceptions for special events. Bedtime, no bedtime for 18yr old, but as with the 15yr old, I'd expect her to be mindful of other's trying to sleep. She'd have to be quiet and not running around the house.

But if you're wondering this because you want new/different rules because baby is also upstairs now, tread lightly. Don't make too many changes too fast. They won't accept the changes well if they think you're behind the change. Or they could resent the baby more than they already do if the changes come because baby is now in 'their' space.

As an aside: you haven't said how baby did upstairs last night. I'm still surprised after the 3 days you spent worrying about even asking DH/skids that the girls actually readily agreed. Congrats, on getting baby a room Smile I'm still not sure if you were just afraid to assert yourself or what. The little brats gave in awfully quick. I'd keep my eye on them.

hismineandours's picture

9 year old has no need for curfew-shouldn't be "out" without parents-bedtime-I'd say between 9-10p on all nights.
15 year old-I don't think any school age person should be "going out" during the school week-if she has a school event during the week her curfew should be whenever the school event is over-on weekends I would go with 12p
18 year old-if she's still in school the same as above-if she has graduated and is working and so forth-I would still say 10 during the week because there are others that are getting up and going to school and such during the week and still midnight on the weekends.

I am pretty flexible about "bedtimes" in my house. My kids are 15, 14, and 11. During the summer, weekends-I don't really mind how late they stay up. As long as they are not disruptive to MY sleep. If they are they have to go to bed and will be grounded to being in their room after a certain time for a week. Now that school is starting-10ish is the time that I want them in their rooms-I know they sometimes read and such after that and I'm ok with it as long as they are able to get up easily and pleasantly in the morning.