How do other step mom's deal with being ignored from SD 18?
My SD 18 ignores me 90% of the time she is in the house with me. My DH claims she stays in her room even when it is just them home. Of course her cellphone use confirms this. When she does come out of room and occupies the same room, she will stare at me. I ask her What? She says oh nothing or sometimes it is a comment of a flaw she see's, or she will be replying to a text on the phone in which we pay for. She only comes out of room to eat when both her father and I are home and when she does the dishes at 9pm loudly as if it was to irritate us so the TV has to be turned up. Dh says thats just what kids her age do but finds it annoying when she texts him a question from her room? I feel like all she is here for is her bed, a place to do laundry, a meal when she has no money, and a place to shower if she has not spent the night somewhere a shower is available. Counting the days until graduation and then can only hope for the better.
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She sounds exactly like
She sounds exactly like Stepdevil14 when she was still coming over. SD14 did everything yours is doing. She'd leave the living room the minute I walked in the front door. I told DH to watch her and he observed on several occasions that she promptly got up from the couch or chair and took herself to her bedroom within 3 minutes of me coming in the door and taking off my shoes. She claimed "she just wanted to be in her room and it had nothing to do with me". HA, whatever. Then why are you perfectly content to sit in the living room with dear daddy up until the exact minute I get home?
We got to the point where we ignored each other. DH wanted us to be this big, happy family, but clearly his daughter did NOT want that to happen after she consistently rebuffed my efforts to include her.
Hope things get better for you soon!
That's exactly what she will
That's exactly what she will do, get up from where I would normally sit and go to her room the minute I come home. She does NOT hide the fact she don't like me, she claims she respects me, but she does not. If I do not keep bedroom door locked when I or DH are not home, she feels entitled to go in our room, of course help herself to my makeup, clothing, or whatever else. Well now Bedroom door stays locked. I have read a text from her BM told her, anytime there is two females in the same house, it almost don't work. Seems to me she should be teaching her to be more respectful and not how to be the Alpha female. In the mornings, I see Dh off to work, she will stay in room until its the last minute to leave for school. On a recent occasion, her BM texted me rude and nasty things for her(BM) being asked to leave from my BIL down a couple of houses by my MIL, anyway, I asked SD if BM mentioned to her about episode and SD replied no. As I was taking SD to friend's house to get hair done for prom, I went through phone and on the same day as BM insulted me, she sent copies to SD who in turned lied to me saying BM and her have only talked about prom. I do not think this young woman knows what respect is. Ill just keep treating her the way she treats me...ignore ignore ignore I try to be bigger person, its hard having an 18 year old trying to show you up on everything like its some kinda competition. I just don't give a crap drama queen
I could have wrote this
I could have wrote this entry, right down to the texting DH from another room in the house.
What do I do with SD17, pray for June 2014 when I have told DH that either she leaves and she has no place to go he is welcome to join her, but 6/30/14 I am done and no longer supporting a child who ignores me in my own home, interacts with me like she is DH mini wife, and is over all inconsiderate.
Ive gotten the "it's just what teenager girls do"
My response, a teenager yes, an 18 year old adult who is graduated is not the same.
Hang in there.
Thank-you AnaR, this is why I
Thank-you AnaR, this is why I joined here. To gain insight and to vent. I see I am not alone. I am NOT a wicked step mom, I am a normal human being. Thank goodness my Dh does see alot of the crap and for the most part handles it. It does help that he and I are on the same page. He knows it's not jealousy on my part, and I know for sure it's not. SD on the other hand well I truly believe she wishes her BM had alot of my qualities and because BM does not, I am the target of her bad moods as well as my animals. How would anyone else handle this? Running away is an option, but not for me.
Well I have seen her "drop"
Well I have seen her "drop" my ten pound Boshi on several occasions and asked her not to do that cause her little legs could break, spank her to where my dog is hand shy now. God knows what my CH kitty has endured. I revived my calico when she was born and she is a special needs cat. That cat is MY BABY! She has survived 8 years with love but, sometimes I worry if she gets mistreated but I have not actually seen with my own eyes. I purchased Dh a female boxer and SD tries to claim it as her own by taking it to bed with her every night and in the morning poor boxer may have an accident cause SD will not take her out as soon as she awakes, make up and hair more important.
Good advice, good advice!!
Good advice, good advice!! I'm taking notes