She runs luke warm & cold with me! Since they were older when I came into the picture, I have always kind-of left the ball in both SD's courts as far as what kind of relationship they were comfortable having with me. I don't throw myself at them...lets go here..let's do this..call them to chat..push a relationship..or anything but I have made many, many gestures towards them over the last 5 years or so....!

She called last night....Every time I answer the phone and get that "IS MY DAD THERE?" it drives me crazy. Never, ever, ever, ever how are you...the kids?! I have done nothing to this person...accept deliver her father by plane....for a visit for the first time ever!! Loan her my vehicle, look after her child, buy chirstmas/birthday gifts for her & her family. Try to talk to her to get to know her & she me. (After 5 yrs...I don't bother anymore) AND MAKE HER FATHER THE HAPPIEST HE HAS BEEN IN MORE THAN 20 YEARS!!!!! My GOD!! How horrible!!! I must be punished!!!!!

So you want to be a stepmother?

Excerpted from Games Divorced People Play, by Dr. Melvyn A. Berke and Joanne B. Grant.

"Surveys and research suggest the following:

"If the new parent is a stepmother, the probability of the marriage surviving and marital happiness are reduced.

"The role of the stepmother is considerably more difficult than of the stepfather.

"Stepmothers are less likely than stepfathers to achieve close ties with their stepchildren.