He said if he had to choose....it would be me hands down!!!
This set me off just before I left for work this morning....
The 30 yr old SD takes another stab at excluding me again!
She sent several e-mail with pictures- one of Grand-son on a toy motorbike, with the caption below....(youngest SD/BF and hubby/me all ride motorcycles.)
""OK - so Uncle Xxxxx, Auntie Xxxxx & Grandad aren't the only only riding these days...check out Xxxxxx's bike - and the tricks to boot 
I am soooo deliberatly, blatently, omitted!!!!! I doubt the grandkids even know my name!! There's no need of this crap....I've had enough!
She figures if she just completely ignores that I exist......that maybe I'll go away!!!
I just saw this right before I left for work!!!! So I'm hopping mad!!!
And the part that really really really pisses me off.......Is that DH didn't even address IT!!!!!!! He sent a nice little ..... wow the kids are getting big LOVE YA note . LIKE dissing me is perfectly ok by him!!!!!! GO RIGHT AHEAD!!! I DON'T MIND!!!
SO MUCH for I WILL MEVER ALLOW MY KIDS TO TREAT YOU THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!
oooooooooooooooo I'm SO MAD Now it's going to be an argument with him.. Especially if he runs right back to youngest SD with my complaints AGAIN~~
P.S
Well DH called .. I told him my issue with SD He started with "what do you want me to do/" I talked to youngest SD before trying to solve the problem...I got in shit for it ...so ..etc etc.
He said that I can't compare sister in-laws SD kids to his kids....cause his are not anywhere near as disrespectiful. I said "Yes I can. How do think they got to be so bad... because them dissing sister-in-law .. went unchecked for years.... That's why Sister-in-laws SD is the MEGA B$%^H she is today.. Your child ,SD30's heading right on down that path and your just sitting there letting it all happen." (Ironically ..he is appalled at how his neice/nefew treat their Stepmother.)
I went on to tell him...
"You already discussed this ignoring me thing with them when you ran back to youngest SD with what I thought was private conversation between us!!..... and what happened... She's still ignoring me!!! because She knows it bothers me..now!!! HELLO!!!!"
He said he's in a bad position... I said I know.. I don't want to put you in a position that you have to take sides or choose between me & your kids. But I have to bring this crap to your attention when it flies under your radar..... CAUSE I AM BEING DISSED .. She's been doing it for 5 years now...it's not getting any better!!!
He said that there is no choice between them or me. It's me all the way. And he was going to call SD30 right away!!! AND address why she does it!!!
She will either crank it up..... or we will come to some kind of understanding....
But unfortunately,I really don't expect that leopard to change her spots.....
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Her father had a talk to her...
She admitted that she in fact does have a problem with "Nanny "Lovin-life"". She would have a problem with accepting Grandma/Step-Mom...whether it was me or someone else..her Dad was with. She has problems accepting her mothers BF, too. (They don't live together, anymore and he doesn't attend any family functions,etc. To me it's a totally different relationship)
She says she doesn't mean to diss me, and claims that she really isn't aware of her behavior. She swears to God that it isn't me personally, it's just her!
I just couldn't understand for the life of me what I did to this woman! (At least I'll know not to rack my brain trying to figure out what I did..anymore.)
What I don't quite understand is that her "Dad" isn't her biological Dad and she's known that since she was 4, she knows her real Dad, and yet has no problem accepting "Dad" (my BF) as her Dad/ kids Grandad. So she should know first hand that you don't need to be blood related to be a family!! It's the bond that matters... The relationship you foster.
Yet knowing this from her own life experiences she won't include me or acknowledge me .... or has difficulty doing so..
I don't know if she will ever get her "issues" resolved.
I'm still feeling worn out over trying ..its been 5 yrs...
Her behavior/acceptance of me doesn't seem to have improved over time
I am soooooo glad DH stood up for me. I thought it was just going to be another argument. He presented it to her as if he had observed me being ignored... and went on to explain the list of ommissions/disses, explained just how much I do & have done for her/her kids. Explained to her that the things she gives him credit/thanks for....I am usually the one behind it and that it would be nice if she acknowleged me/thanked me as well.
Out of context... you wouldn't know that conversation was between a man and a grown woman .......
Well .... we'll see what happens from here....
It is nice
I think it is great that you dh stood up to her and said something.
That has to mean alot to you.
Good Luck
hang in there
Lovin-life...
Stepdaughter is very immature for her age. It would be a good idea if your husband sit her down and ask her why does she hate you or eliminate you totally. Maybe she was misled by biomom and that's why she acts that way. Get to the bottom of her reason. Tell him to tell her that you are a nice person and you all would like to see her improve on her relationship w/you and have your husband tell her how bad you feel when you are not included. Maybe she'll see light.
I agree on the assessment of
I agree on the assessment of SD's maturity. She is the child most like her mother. And, honestly, her mother is also very immature for woman in her late 40's...very irresponsible, morally-Promiscuous (internet-rondezvous), financially-bankrupt, childish, will cry crocodile tears to get what she wants, or have a tantrum, lie...like a 4 yr old caught in the cookie jar, ..the whole gammit.
He did call SD the other day...and she denied that she does it. Or at least isn't aware she does. He says he believes her...she was almost in tears on the other end of the phone. She says that it's not intentional..she has nothing against me. She says she's happy that I'm with her Dad. She admitted that she's having a hard time dealing with me as "Nanny Lovin-life" ...although he asked her awhile ago and she said she had "no problems with it". But now she says that she would have problems with anyone hr Dad (or Mom) was with...it's not me personally.
He thinks I shouldn't take it personally........ I explained that whether her actions are intentional or not. The bottom line is they ARE directed at me...they exclude me...they affect me...My feelings get hurt..She doesn't accept me..(or at least my "place" as his spouse)..it's hard to not take that personally!!!!
If I was a stranger she met in Yoga...I could be her best friend! She would know me for me...no other baggage!! But she refuses to give me that chance...after 5 years!!
I told him that I don't have it in me to try anymore....and with no-one trying....I don't want open hostility..
It to the point I don't even want to be in the same room with her..I've had enough of the shitty treatment. I'd rather go to youngest SD wedding with "thier mother" than oldest SD...because at least I don't have to pretend to be nice..when I don't feel like it!!!!
I'll see what happens.....