Hello, I so need some advice if anyone outthere has any ideas please. I am a single mum of two, I work snd I had been out of a relationship for two years following the break down of my marraige. The man that I have begun to date I have known for years he is 15 yrs older than me. He is a bit of a wild card but has such a big heart. He has been through major hard times in his life, as we all have but he unfortunatly lost his first wife at the tender age of 28. He Has a son by her then 6yrs later met and remarried his now x wife and they have a daughter aged 18. He thinks the absoulte world of his daughter and visits her 4/5 times weekly. He is a great Dad, his daughter is very lucky. Here is the dilemma, he picks his daughter up at his old home which was his outright and his x claimed it. He then takes her to his flat. He then drops everything to run his daughter about, even if it is within walking distance of her home, he will drop her of whenever she needs if he can. He works two jobs, not because he needs too, he likes to. At the weekends he spends a couple of hours at the old home with his x and the daughter on Sunday and maybe during the week he will stay to spend time with his Daughter. He spends Christmas, Easter and family occasions with his x, the son who lives with the Dad and his Daughter. They have been divorced for 6 yrs. He pops in and out of the old house to see his daughter whenever she needs really. I just got my head around that but, he also visits his x when the Daughter is not here but is, not always, open about this with me. We have been together for almost a year and we have had several conversations about how, when he visits his x wife it hurts but I understand that the Children come first. I get on well with my x, however what I do not understand is why he visits his x when the daughter is not there just to deliver something he could give his daughter when he sees her the next day, at the old house. He is also very idependant and does what he wants. He cold have visited me instead of the x, I was here alone at home and he knew it. He never stays for dinner with me, never suggests we go out for the day when he is on holiday from work because he is with his daughter. He also had an oppurtunity to stay with me one night when my children were not here, he has stayed a couple of times before when the children are away but this time he declined as he was tired. As I said to him, it is rare to get time alone together and if you are tired then go to sleep but stay with me. In his defense he does snore bad and he did mention that he didn't want to wake me, I could have sleeped in the next room if need be but he didn't feel it fair if that was to happen. But then it is fair to vist your x so much? I feel he is a little contradictory. We dont go out much because of circumstances, we have been out for a couple of meals and a couple of his work doos but that is all. I have had words with him recently about this inate urge he seems to have for his own life. I mentioned that if he did not want to commit, that is his choice but I can not do casual, I love him way to much just to have a little piece of him. We said we would talk about it after a few days away from each other. His response was when we did catch up and I asked him if commitment is what he wanted 'well, I am here arn't I' , typical old school he is! The other thing that happened is the night he was to catch up with me he was out in the day with his son, knowing he would be late over he text me to say he did not know when he would be here. fine, however, it got to 9ish, hadn't heard from him, text him, he said he was still on the road, fair enough, went into town phoned him later he said he was not home, thing is I was passing his house at the time, guess what he was there. He said he lied because he wanted a shower etc before he came over and did not want to get moaned at for being late. Now, I accept what he tells me, but I would not moan simply because he had to shower, all he had to do was tell me. So on several occasions he has not always been honest. I feel I am caught between a rock and a hard place, he calls me daily, visits me thusrday pm for an hour and fri pm for an hour and then sat, sun evening but he just seems so non commital. He is going on holiday alone, I have my other son with me and cannot afford a holiday so I can't do much about that but I would love for him to say, you know what, I want to be with you, let me stay here. His argument is well we were apart when I booked it! I would love to know your thoughts, I need another perspective thankyou.