How much are we supposed to give anyway? Help!!!
Today was a real treat. I got tickets for my husband and I to go to a college basket ball game. I have been excited all week. Then, out of nowhere, he asks "can we give the tickets to SD?" Now, if this was the only thing we have done for her than I would understand. However, already she has gone to a Detroit Lions game with her dad, gone to a college football game (my tickets), gone to a basket ball game (same team, the week before-I bought them for her), she will likely go to a Redwings game with her dad, and NOW I'm supposed to give up MY tickets for a game that her dad and I were supposed to go to? After she ruined our Christmas? (She had a fit b/c she didn't get the pet snake she wanted). I could just cry. I told SD I would rather rip them up than have her go. Seriously, how much am I supposed to give? Now he is pouting in the other room defaulting to his passive aggressive 'You don't love me' self pity party. I'm SO tired of this.
He's also mad because I told him today I don't want to do anything with SD. He can, I won't complain, and I will pay (I earn the $$). However, I just am done giving her anything. I'm tired of giving to a selfish narcissistic brat. I can't stand to be around her. What can I say, 3.5 years of hell and I just don't have any more to give. How much am I supposed to do for them?
He just took her to go get food (she won't eat what is in our house-she eats out constantly) yet again, spending gas money and food money that I worked my butt off for and again I'm not supposed to complain. How much more before I just crack? 
What do I do???
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Comments
go to the game by yourself or
go to the game by yourself or get a friend to go with you.
invite a good looking male
invite a good looking male friend with no children
What is wrong with your DH?
What is wrong with your DH? He wants you to give away your tickets? How stupid.
I think I would not be funding ANYTHING else for his kid. And maybe not him either. Does he not work?
No, he is on disability
No, he is on disability (which I helped him get). He does need it (he can't walk or stand well), but all I asked him to do was sit with me at a stupid game for an hour or 2 to make me happy. Man, they are both such ungreatful asses I could just spit. Then, he is in a sulking mood when I tell him I would rather burn the tickets and he tells me to put the groceries away (which I paid for). F*** him, I would rather they go bad. Why did I sign up for this? What the hell was I thinking?
wow. My DH is also on
wow. My DH is also on disability for a work related injury a few years back but he has never taken my income or my work load for granted. We do treat all money as "our" money, but all purchases are agreed upon togather. All special events/items are discussed before they are promised and after 6 years we still look for ways for US to spend time together.
Just because she really likes sports doesn't mean she needs to go to every game, especially if this was supposed to be just you and him. She can sit at home, and if he wants to be a big baby about it, so can he.
Hi caitin, I wish I had what
Hi caitin,
I wish I had what you do with your husband. I am beginning to think I made a big mistake-sad that it took me 3.5 years to figure it out.....
don't feel so bad about
don't feel so bad about waiting 3.5 years to figure it out.i was in a situation very close to yours and it took me 11 years and two babies at 40 to figure it out.just be glad that you finally did figure it out and don't waste anymore time.we can't get the past back,but we can claim our futures.God bless and good luck!
out of curiousity, is the
out of curiousity, is the disability a relatively new development or has it been an issue for the 3.5 years? just wondering if their may be depression issues on his part. Either I would say that you are definitely close to, if not at your breaking point and something needs to change. Hopefully DH's (and SD's) behavior
Thank you for the advice
Thank you for the advice everyone-I appreciate it!