Dh pleased SD can barely read?? What??
So dh gets an alert from school with a progress report card for feral homeless looking child sd9. Her reading ability was recently tested and she is barely at a 1st grade reading level and is in the 3rd grade. Dh looked pleased that she could read. Seriously?! I realize that you have zero expectations for your spawn but come on!! My dh is a smart guy and loves to read and learn science and mechanical things. I have always had a love for literature and reading so I just do not understand not recognizing that the child is so far behind. I am mostly disengaged but I told dh that she needs her phone shut down more and put a book in its place. He looked shocked that I thought this was a problem but agreed to shut the phone down for another hour in the afternoons. At least he’s willing to do something about it even though he doesn’t understand it’s a problem. Ugh!! These rediculous uncaring bio parents! How does a child who can barely read turn out in life? Not well if you can’t read!
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A nine year old does not even
A nine year old does not even need a phone, much less to be on it all of the time.
Not being able to read reasonably well, is a great hindrance in life. Is that what your husband wants for his daughter?
Agreed about the phone but..
Agreed. I’m not getting my future children a phone. But this child needs one so we can track where she is at when she is at bm. Bm drops the child off at random “friends” houses on her watch and sd needs a way to contact us if she is in a troubling situation. We literally have no idea who these people are that the child is dropped off with but dh says he doesnt want to do anything about that so not my problem either.
I would have such a hard time
I would have such a hard time staying with someone that cared so little for his children. Unless the girl seriously has a learning disorder.. it's borderline neglect to allow them to flounder so much. Schools have too many kids with "real" problems.. to deal with.. she will fall through the cracks.
It is amazing how even
It is amazing how even negative things can magically be made positive, isn't it? This was a huge problem with my formerSO and his son. In school - doing poorly, but HEY at least he is passing (barely, like they just move him on to get them out of his classes). At his MMA classes (because every teen with violent tendencies should attend fighting classes) - acting too aggressively with younger/smaller student - but HE WON. His poor hygiene - at least he got in the tub - no matter he pooped, didn't wipe before getting in the tub to marinate in it. It went on and on.
Look, I get trying to look for positives, but twisting a negative into a positive is insane. I would sit and scratch my head like...did I hear that wrong, am I thinking about this wrong, am I crazy? NO. I was not crazy. FormerSO was raising his son to be a despicable person, just so he didn't have to face "my son isn't perfect".
Dh is showing improvement in parenting
this is actually an improvement from when I first arrived. He does continue to improve and has said that if we have her full time after our court date later this year then he will follow my requests and directions to improve his parenting in all areas. He was raised feral by his alcoholic father and literally has not seen a functioning family before so this is all new to him. He has a long way to go though. It’s disturbing to me that a parent doesn’t seem to notice that the child is behind. For a smart man he is really dim in the parenting area.
Frankly, there is no reason
Frankly, there is no reason for him to wait until after the court date to start parenting adequately. He should be starting right now!
DH needs to make an
DH needs to make an appointment with the teacher to discuss his child's reading level. Her reading level is way too low for success. She needs more than access to reading material. The teacher can suggest specific things he can do to improve. (Plus, concern about and action to improve academic progress can sometimes look good to the judge.
Great idea!
Thanks for the advice! That’s a great idea! There is an online reading website from her school that she is assigned homework sometimes. To start off with I’ll have him force her to do some extra reading work on there. He won’t talk to the teacher, I’ve tried to get him to do that. Baby steps is how i do it with this guy.
If she is still reading at
If she is still reading at 1st grade level then regularly reading aloud to an adult or reading together will be important to help her progress and to build her confidence and enjoyment of reading. Finding books that interest her that are at her reading level may be a challenge,.but perhaps your local library may be able to help suggest some suitable reading material. If she has no learning disabilities or other impairments then regular practice will help her rapidly improve.
Great idea!
Thank you! I’ll have her read aloud to us in the evening then. Dh works on his laptop and I knit and watch the news so instead of having the news on I can have her read aloud. Wow we sound boring lol I remember my sex and the city days before step-hood came along....so different lol
Ugh, been there. I have a suggestion
DH was unhappy but had a "what can you do?" attitude towards YSSs abysmal reading skills. BMs response (for reals): "He's just not a reader."
SERIOUSLY?!
At least DH listened to my logic that you need to be able to read to learn anything else.
Your SD is the same age YSS was (and at about the same reading level). I bought this book: Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Reading. It's really cute and is all about how to get out of reading. Has some "cheat" chapters that are only a page long (so if your parent tells you to read a chapter, this one is short). DH then gave YSS a set number of pages or chapters to read. The book was all about not wanting to read and how to get out of it, and very engaging. So guess what? YSS read it! He got better at reading. And now out of the three kids he gets the best grades! (My mom used it to teach a kid to read, too.)
If she's really bad, like possibly at kindergarten level: Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. (I used this one to jump start DS.)
Lol I’m getting those books!
im totally getting those books! Thanks so much for the advice! Glad your dh listened to you. These “parents” are so stupid when it comes to identifying and caring about the skid problems it’s ridiculous. I’m pregnant right now and I’ve already been devouring parenting books and looking into schooling and education for my unborn child. Whereas it must have never occurred to these bio parents to pick up a book or read an article on how to raise productive children. Their solution is “I was raised feral and I turned out fine.” Did you really dh? I am still teaching you how to properly eat with utinsils and how to properly cut up your food.
Newsflash dear hubby
your kid actually can’t read if she is at barely a year 1 level
Does she have reading
Does she have reading disability? Your DH has to meet with teachers and discuss what’s going on. He doesn’t need full custody to do just that