Well I took a week off of writing to see if I could come up with some ways to vent or to work the issues in my life out in a different way.
We recently redid both kids bedrooms-H painted and acted like the job was finished, so I spent the entire week washing clothes, putting them in the new dressers, closets, putting away toys, organizing everything. He never lifted another finger.
Since I changed my ph # BM hasn't been calling. Then I was advised by atty to give her the #. Now, BM will not respond to us unless she is called. I requested to have SS one day over Spring Break (after all someone who lives with mom and dad w/no job surely has no $$ for a vacation or even a small thing, like bowling or a movie) to take him to a Skate Park. I was going to get a sitter for the little one and just have time for him and myself. He reacts well with one on one attention. I got an e-mail yesterday telling me Sorry. Jake and I are pretty busy today. You can have him an extra Satruday night this weekend if you want to.
Ok-it is our weekend anyway, we just weren't getting it because of the "holiday" of Sp Break.
Last night DH calls BM to ask her to get together with him next Saturday afternoon (by themselves) so that they can talk before going to mediation. We don't have the money to drag this out. She agreed, but made sure to repeat about three times how "great" ss is doing now that she is picking him up from school everyday. Yeah, he is getting 100's on his HW. He is getting 50 and below on ALL class work Tests. DH met w/Teacher this week and the teacher said the only reason he is passing him is bc he sees on his transcript 1st semester 3rd grade all A & B. He lived with us during that time period. After the switch beginning of 2nd semester-the grades went way down. Right now he has 5 F's. On his repart card 3 F's.
She just keeps repeating that. I know what she;s getting at. She either goes every other week, or keeps things the same. She wants CS fig at minimum wage for her since she is voluntarily unemployed. Bullshit. We'd be out of our home.
Here lies my issue.
Say that happens. I have no choice but to leave. Things are not always great with my marriage but no one promised they would be. We would not be able to feed our kids while her parents provide for her and SS and she uses CS to buy a new car. She has already voiced she needs a new one if she is going to be taking him to school each day.
We cant afford this mediation. We can't afford anything. Our marriage can't afford to go through this.
On one hand I think we should walk away. Then we'd get raped in CS. Plus he told the lying, sneaking, failing SS that he could move in any time later on. Wrong!
One the other hand I think she should agree to our every other week deal. She is looking at some serious issues at court if we go there. She lied about her brother receiving a 675,000$ settlement about 10 years ago when a DR gave him the wrong anesthesia and he had a seizure in the operating room. She said on her Discovery that no one in her family ever rec a settlement. I got the paperwork from the court that issued the settlement. She knows this.
She stated that she has no bank account other than the one that she has right now. She forgot she turned in an interest statement for a bank account where apparently the $$ from the settlement is kept. Her parents keep it for the Son, he is now MMH. She is living off of money she was given. Funny, as soon as he got the $$ she had new boobs. Then, her car was paid off. She owed about $13,000 on it. She stated in 2006 under oath that she was a student at on online university. We asked her in the most recent discovery to produce those documents for school and she said she was never a student.
She stated she has no monthly expenses for herself or SS.
I am really thinking about leaving. Even if he does get his son-I don't think I want to be around for the atermath. It will be like a flaming ball of fire is headed straight for our house. My girls deserve so much more. At one point things were so bad here due to stress bt the H and I that I thought about letting my 6 year old live with her grandparents who would have taken me for custody, and I didnt care. I just didnt want her around this anymore. 5 years has seemed like 10. 10 will seem like 20.
I found a wrinkle under my eye the other day, could be from tanning. Could also be from stress. I have also been losing my hair, which is naturally curly and sort of thin so soon I will be a bald Step Bi*** with wrinkles all over her discolored skin. I feel like falling over, like just curling up.
I know I can't and I won't but I still feel like I want to and now I have to stop typing even though I have so much more to say. I have to get ready for our trip to the Zoo!
I have many things to be thankful for, just going through something that I know nothing about, and feeling anxious that this could make or break us.