I HATE Being With This Disneyland Dad....(EVERY holiday/weekend Blows!)
So as I quietly grow in frustration, disdain, and resentment because this dude is taking on more and more responsibility of those skids, especially during the summers (and DURING what is supposed to be his ex wife's parenting time = weekdays) instead of letting her figure out what to do with them during the weekdays while she works.
I have suggested, thrown brochures around, etc that he send them to summer camps like most sane parents do with their kids during the summer. This is mainly because *I* work from home and I barely want his kids in my space during his weekend visitiations let alone DURING the week when I'm working or when I want a break from having to deal with them.
(They're here ALOT; every weekend; every holiday) And since he's a disneyland dad he seems to erroneously think their comfort comes before mine when they arrive in the house *I* contribute to financially. Those kids pay not one bill so I could care less about their comfort and if they want to be completely comfortable then they can go back to their mother's house.
To the point I told dude "Look! Most divorced parents SHARE/Alternate holidays" and had to literally FORCE him to leave his kids with their mother on New Years and on Mother's Day. Ridiculous!!! I feel like the change was only very short-lived because I think he's right back to taking all of her holidays (because he feels 'guilty' their mom is doing nothing with/for them on what are supposed to be HER holidays).
He had them Memorial Day holiday and here we are on July 4th coming up (mid week ugh!)
Normally, I would say something about it. But since I plan to leave him soon anyways I'm probably going to stay gone most of the day if his kids end up here on July 4th.
I am a single mother (with a now out of state deadbeat for my kid) this disneyland dad uses my circumstances to justify his disneylad parenting. The difference is I don't let kids dictate my life, I have no choice that I'm dealing with a deadbeat, and I could throw good money after bad but that is money I could put towards college planning vs legal fees. This dude CHOOSES to let his ex-wife use his kids to manipulate him into feeling extreme guilt for divorcing her and 'leaving' their kids.
When I met him, he presented himself as a part-time dad (with an exwife moving out of town and taking her kids) If i knew he was like this I would NEVER have given him the time of day.
Happy 4th of July! (as I avoid him and his kids if they end up at this house I pay bills in without my consent or knowledge)
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Comments
Deadbeat BM
You sound like me, hating summer with the SKs here non-stop. Only difference is we didn't have them during the week cuz BM worked. We had them during the week cuz BM didn't feel like putting up with them and wanted more free time.
I counted the days til school started. I feel for you.
Pretty much sums up this BM
Pretty much sums up this BM too. Whether she's working or not, she acts like she couldn't be bother by the kids she CHOSE to birth into this world. Just sees them as manipulation tools to shove it to the gullible dude who divorced her trifling a$$
What a sociopathic c*nt!
Sloppy Scheduled Summers with maladjusted bioparents are complete H3ll!
Let me see now ... He is
Let me see now ... He is depriving them of the fun of summer camps because why? I'd tell him that, as they are being dumped on you that you will deal with them as you see fit and that you are going to have a chart of chores for them to do every single day before they get to watch TV or use the WiFi. You also expect him to check on them and be sure they have done their aforementioned chores several times per day. You will also be cutting off WiFi, Netflix, etc. if they disturb your work by making too much noise or mess. If he doesn't agree with any of the above then he will simply have to take them to work with him.
100% Agreed!!!
100% Agreed!!!
I actually wish I could arrange weekend bag (with all his medications, his zit creme, and his protein shakes) and send him on the first Uber to his ex-wife's house and let all of them trauma bond together during his weekend parenting times (and any other additional times he wants custody).
he presented himself as a
he presented himself as a part-time dad
The problem with that 'presentation' is that the situation can change in an instant. The CP becomes incapacitated (injury, illness, death) and the NCP is suddenly a full-time parent.
It's understandable you find the Disney business and skids annoying. But it's also understandable that your stbx wants to see his kids. My DH didn't sign up to be a part-time dad and missed seeing his kids every day. I'm probably one of the few on here who never pushed "stick to the CO" and encouraged DH to see them whenever he could. Two YUGE differences: I didn't WFH at the time; the skids were fairly quiet.
How soon before you can leave? Let him spend the 4th doing things with his kids while you do something else with yours.
Yeah. It's my fault. I never
Yeah. It's my fault. I never thought about the what-ifs.
However, the injury/illness/death part I could possibly handle because I know that's not of his own choosing.
He literally claimed/bragged about how he was a part-time dad while secretly desiring full-time custody, expecting me to raise his kids for him, and CHOOSING to take over her role (not because she can't single parent) because he's riddled with guilt and can't stomach his kids living in 2 households/being products of divorce.
It wasn't until AFTER we lived together, his exwife moved her manipulative a$$ back intown a month later, pretended she couldn't parent, and he's here taking over her duties acting like he's a single baby mama (while still paying child support to the actual baby mama who does nothing for her kids because that's what his guilt enables).
I don't mind him SEEING them whenever he wants (matter of fact go see them everyday - knock yourself out) but what I do have a problem with is (after his ex-wife his used those kids to juice all the resources out of him) now he's too tired/broke to take care of this household.
After you drove around all day on your non-custodial partenting times/paid out child support money while doing 50% or more of physical custody..... do not fix your crusty lips to ask me to pay anything related to house maintenance because youre maxed out financially.
I also have a problem with skids BEING here in this house while I'm here because I never know when they're coming or going and he acts like they are pampered slugs who mess with my thermostat/stay up all night/talk so loud I can hear them across a 2k sq ft house/game all night/eat/sleep ALL day then don't clean up after themselves nor follow any reasonable rules I have set
I plan on quietly leaving him as soon as my second income opens up here in the next couple months. Might start working 3 jobs just to avoid them on the weekends (and whatever non-custodial days he tries to import them here without my consent) and build a nest egg faster.
As for July 4th - I totally plan to ditch them since he hasn't mentioned anything about them being here and I really want a QUIET, peaceful holiday where I'm not expected to cater to his kids when I don't even know they're being at the house on my day off.
Despite the difference, I
Despite the difference, I really do get it. BioHo was (still is to a lesser degree) a major pain in the arse. Actually expected me to start skid sitting when she wanted to ho out partying and DH was working. I did once for a few short hours because it was DH's weekend, but he had to work OT and wouldn't get home until around midnight. OT was a regular thing at the time, but that one night was an exception. BioHo expected me to skidsit forever after, but I nipped that in the bud as I typically spent those OT evenings with my Dad or sister.
My DH was a Disney Dad, too, but he... outgrew that phase. Fortunately, DH kept the thermostat at his (and my) comfort level and told the skids to wear a sweatshirt or grab a blanket. Nor would he have allowed that noise level. If the skids stayed up all night, he wouldn't let them sleep in, but rolled them out of bed for the day's planned activities.
Despite the difference, I
SAME here! Its the Expectation that grates my nerves.
Dude used my vulnerable state - me having covid - to have his kids dumped off here last minute on a Friday night to 'give his ex wife a break" while he was at work.
I agreed (he guilt tripped me and caught me while I was vulnerable/not enough energy to fight back) and regretted it. Those kids stayed up all f*cking night, I couldn't sleep when I needed rest the most, he worked overtime, I never saw a dime of that overtime money, and I was stuck with them for 4 hours more than I wanted.
Instead of trying to help me or have empathy for me while I was sick, these sociopaths loaded me up with work and treated my like an indentured housesl@ve.
There was absoulutely no benefit for me so I shut that down permanenently
Your DH sounds like he got with the program so he could stay married to you.....This dude right here must want to go back to single life, so Im going to give him what he wants and ship him back to his ex wife --- she can have this dude back running at her beck and call.
He sees you as THE solution,
He sees you as THE solution, which is a bunch of hooey. Marrying someone with kids does not make you the automatic fill-in when he works and BM works or parties or is subjected to alien experiments. After all, what would they do if they didn't dump on Lily? Hire a babysitter, foist them on a friend or family member, or not do what they want and have to parent..
ETA: I disengaged and left all of the work on my DH: cleaning, laundry. He eventually got tired of cleaning up after the skids and started making them do it. And the skids did not shrivel and perish from a little work! *shok*
That's exactly what he
That's exactly what he thought.
Since I raised my kid so well, what an extra +2 gonna hurt?!?
"Um sir, those are not my kids....And if I am able to help you I will, if I can't you need to accept NO as the final answer. The only person who should be expected to take care of those kids is you and your manipulative c*nt ex-wife. Come correct!!!"
Spot on!
Spot on!
Not your fault at all.
Your DH is the perpetrator of the failed family invasion of your marriage/life. PERIOD. DOT.
It amazes me how many SParents try to take on fault and then hope their way into countless years of blended family misery and wasting their lives. I am a pragmatic optimist. It works for me to adjust accordingly and require the others in the situation to deliver to clear simple standards. They behave, or they suffer escalating states of misery. Their choice. Standards can adjust as events unfold. Those in the situation adjust to those changes. I am optimistic that if they comply, everyone will be far happier.
The solution is simple IMHO. Set clear standards of what we will accept from our mate and their failed family progeny and enforce those boundaries. This is a hill to die on and is the hill that our mate and their spawn should have to continually climb to retain us in their lives. IMHO. Comply, have a reasonable existance. Faile to comply, sugger an escalating state of abject misery.
EXACTLY!
EXACTLY!
I was telling my aunt about these challenges (especially when he allowed his ex wife to dump his kids her while i had covid and wanted to rest one night in a quiet house....i never banned them from the weekend visitation I just wanted them to come in the morning or him take off work that night; he was more concerned about his ex-wife getting a break, being to p*ssy to tell his kids WAIT, and too narcissitic to think about anyone except him/his spaws/his ex) (my aunt was a step mom) but her husband respected her and placed their marriage first as a decent spouse should. Her step-kids hated her 'strict' rules and chose to live with their mother who quietly received her 2k/mo child support
My aunt was like 'my god your guy is so uncooperative and inconsiderate!'
Treating his non-contributing, lazy, non-bill paying kids like mini-spouses who run this operation (especially on weekends when they come into the house *I* pay bills in) IS a hill that he has died on. I've already made up my mind I don't want to have any long-term relationship with him.
Powersulk
SD17 Powersulk has been powersulking her way through the gloomy summer days.
Shes supposed to be with her mother this week, but Im so hoping she goes next week so I dont have to worry about her powersulking through the holidays. And my birthday.
Those skids can powersulk all
Those skids can powersulk all they want
I hit the ignore button when they pull their attention-seeking sulking stunts over here.
Disneyland dad swoops in to coddle and rescue but even he gets fed up and tries to ship them back when they have pissy attitudes.
The summer just barely started.
Up the misery, make her summer progressively intollerable until she either does not return, or adapts her behavior.
Either way, it is an improvement over the current state.
Take care of you.
Same issue when I met DH. The
Same issue when I met DH. The only holiday BM insisted upon having was Christmas Eve and because DH was supposed to have his kids on every Christmas Day from 10am to 6pm, we never saw my family on Christmas. DH's family also insisted upon celebrating Christmas Eve even though Skids weren't around, so we spent our Christmas shuttling kids around to DH's family, who weren't gathered, but still insisted upon seeing skids.
BM then wanted DH to take every Thanksgiving, so she could go away with her then-husband (now ExH #2), even though the CO said they alternated. I put an end to that because there was no way I was skipping every holiday with my family and I wasn't paying to take skids across the country to join us (and then shortening my visit to accommodate their school schedule).
BM also refused to give DH extra time he asked for, but always wanted him to take extra weekends so she could go away. Before I met him, she used to just not come home on Sunday, so he had to take time off on Monday to stay home with skids or bring them to school (he started work at 5am and BM moved skids 45 minutes away after the divorce, so no way he could work and get them to school with less than 12 hours notice). She used every excuse, her flight was cancelled, she missed her flight, she had a meeting in the morning she forgot about, etc.
Then after we met, BM proposed that DH take skids for the entire summer. In their CO, she was responsible for all child care costs (because she makes about 3X what DH makes), but skids never had child care because her husband at the time was a "stay at home dad". DH thought about taking them for the summer for a hot minute, but I pointed out to him that a) we were not paying to provide child care and b) he does not get paid vacation days from his job. DH had the right to two weeks of vacation in the CO and BM used to tell him what weeks she was giving him and then if he signed the kids up for camp (on his own dime) because he couldn't take time off, she would pitch a fit and say it was "unfair" for him to send the kids to camp on "his time."
Some women just like to be in control and don't really want to be parents.
The COd long distance visitation schedule rescued us from the
hell you live.
Winter visitation was ~week and alternated on start date between even and odd years. Even years they got SS from the day school was out until 12/24. Odd years they got him from 12/26 until the day before school started after new years.
Often they did not take Even year visitation because the first day school was out until 12/24 when they had to return him was only a few days. Even during Odd numbered visitation years they would periodically refuse visitation for some bullshit reason or another. So, we always had SS on 12/25 which was built into the visitation order. We also had TG every year since visitaiton was only Summer (5wks)/Winter (~1wk)/Spring (1wk).
Our situation was not one we purposfully built. It just unfolded. DW had left SpermLand with SS for university after HS graduation. She already had full physical and legal custody. At that time, there was no visitation order. Since she had full physical and legal and had already left SpermLand the court issued a confirmation of DW's full physical and legal custody and invoked a long distance visitation schedule.
Our situation was not rife with the huge number of variables that COs with local visitation tend to have. Minimizing the influence of a toxic opposition is far easier when they are 1200+ miles away and have only limited visitation as well as them not having the resources or motivation to effectively influence a change.
DH's CO said he had skids
DH's CO said he had skids from Christmas Day at 10am through December 26th at 6pm and that BM had them for the rest of the break. Then BM used to insist DH take Skids for Christmas Break, because it "wasn't fair" that she had to be in charge of them when they were not in school. DH did that until he asked for some changes to the schedule to accommodate things he wanted and BM flat out refused, so then he told her that we would follow the schedule and he wouldn't cover the weeks BM wanted. Would he have liked to see his kids more, yes, probably, but seeing them at the whims of BM or when she needed a babysitter became a stupid game that we just stopped playing.
Then one weekend, DH had to cancel his visitation at the last minute because he was admitted to the hospital through the emergency room on Thursday evening and transferred to a bigger hospital with a life threatening reaction to medication. First, BM tried to claim that he owed her $2000 for cancelling because she supposed had travel plans that she had to cancel (this wasn't true, because she didn't mention this until two days after he was admitted to the hospital and also there is nothing in their CO that says if you cancel a weekend, you owe the other parent). Then months later she demanded that DH take an unpaid week off from work so she and her then-husband could go on vacation during the school year. She said DH "owed" her because she "accommodated" him while he was in the hospital. Just another example of why I insisted that DH follow the CO religiously, so there would be no further negotiations on what was owed to whom and what wasn't. Dealing with BM was like dealing with a toddler...constantly "negotiating" over things that have no reason to be negotiated and then stomping her feet and crying when she didn't get her way.
Idiots like this BM should not be allowed to think. That is what
the CO is for.
BM is the CP, she does not get to dump the SKid on the NCP at will... unless the NCP tolerates it.
DH needs to keep a copy of the CO rolled up and ready to beat the snot out of the BM with any time BM twitches out of line with the CO.
Grrrrrr. This BM is toxic and sadly, bio dad is facilitating BM's shit.
My DH didn't sign up to be a
My DH didn't sign up to be a part-time father so you can bet your butt he got his kids every chance he could. I honestly do not know why it's so difficult to fathom why people want to see their kids more than EOWe.
Unfortunately, too many step parents do not take into consideration that the NCP could become the full-time CP at any time. If full-time skids is a deal-breaker, live separately or look for a childless partner. (Could you honestly respect a parent who abandoned their kids?)
For my DH and me, it was a clash of completely different parenting styles. I'd raised my 3 stepchildren like I was raised: military household, rules, expectations, etc. Despite being in the USMC, DH was soooooo not raised in a strict household - he had few rules and fewer expectations. My mistake was trying to parent his kids. While I didn't always like his style, a large part was the Disney Dad (who we all know went AWOL). Pre-, during, and post-Disney Dad, one thing remained constant: DH is a rock. Solid, steady, dependable. Each of the skids has remarked on that at some point... how the 'Ho House was a circus and 'Ho a nightmare, but they could always count on DH.
I often think Disney Dads get caught up and have no idea how to stop being a Disney Dad because their biggest fear is their children will hate them and no longer want to see them.
No I couldn't be with a guy
No I couldn't be with a guy who didn't want his kids.
I'm just saying.....
He KNEW (and concealed the fact that) he had a hard custody schedule (ex-wife either flat our refused to pickup or dropped those kids whenever she wanted) and did not tell me the truth about her behavoir until AFTER she returned back into town and had to face reality. And unbeknownst to me, rather than pay sitters/nanny/send to camps, he was secretly looking for a gullible woman to HELP him raise his kids full-time - uncompensated.
If I knew he had full-custody, wanted full custody, and was running a "beck and call bitch service" (love that term btw) = then no I would not have dated him.
And to be honest I will never date men with dependent kids or batshit ex-wifes again.
I do want to live separately.
I don't disagree with you
I don't disagree with you Aniki and we even moved closer to SKids so DH could take on more parenting time. He proposed taking on 50/50, which you would think BM would be open to, since all she did was complain that she had to do all the parenting. I also agreed, after much conversation with DH, to take this on, even though taking it on would be an extreme hardship for me. However, as will not surprise many on this forum, when we moved closer, BM doubled down on restricting time and told all who would listen, including skids that DH was "trying to take the kids away" from her. The EOWE time with skids also become unbearable, because DH was constantly navigating the dynamic of he would actually parent skids (e.g. stop them from fighting with one another, tell them to stop being mean, rude, destructive, tell them they could not do something that was not age appropriate, etc) and they would run off to their rooms to call BM and cry about how they hated our house and wanted to go home. BM would respond by sending DH angry text messages (she was not allowed to call on the phone unless it was an emergency) about how Skids were so uncomfortable around DH. We even got multiple threats from a lawyer about how BM was going to take DH to court for "traumatizing" skids. The main "trauma" was actually DH not allowing Skid to skip his weekends with DH.
I also stopped accommodating schedule changes at that point, because DH rarely got the additional time he requested and requested changes always came in at the last minute (for example, a Thursday late evening text asking if DH could switch weekends to the upcoming weekend because BM was going out of town). From the start, I was careful to schedule any activities or events for DH and I on non-skid weekends to allow him to maximize his time. Even vacations requested by DH well in advance and within the timing of the CO were rejected by BM, who viewed herself as the one controlling the calendar. She would also regularly schedule things over DH's weekend and not tell him. We'd find out when skids just didn't show up and he would contact them to find out when / if they were coming. I also don't believe it's my job as a SM to manage another woman's drama and it feels like all this was just BM trying to spread her chaos into our home and maintain her relevance with DH, neither of which were for the benefit of skids.
One skid - actually the one who said he was "traumatized" - has now seen the light a bit and seen how DH is the more reliable parent, but at this point, after a decade of hearing that DH "wasn't their real father" (not that he wasn't their bio father, just that stepdad (now exH #2) was their new father figure) and how DH didn't have the right to tell them what to do and DH was only out to get BM, Skids and DH do not have a strong parenting relationship. Some of it falls on DH, but most of it falls on BM who has successfully alienated Skids, even if not enough to keep them away. One now seems to see DH has a piggy bank (he even tried to convince DH recently to pay him (skid) CS directly instead of paying BM because, in skid's telling, "none of that money comes to us", clearly not understanding how CS works).
IMHO it is not every now and then that is the issue with either
Skid involvement in a visitation family or SParent involvent in every BP/visiting SKid interface. The dynamics on the CP side are very different.
The issue is all SKid all the time and that being a detriment to the marriage that the SParent has with their spouse. Even kids in intact marriages have their place and the parents have theirs with relationship focus times.
My DW was the CP with full physical and legal. I had no issue with that. We had a great life as a family of 3 from SS age 2 until now with SS nearly 31.
Even with my unicorn blended family experience where the opposition was distant geographically and only intermittently impactful to our family, my DW struggled with extreme guilt when SS was on SpermLand visitation and my family was taking a family vacation or we were doing a significant experience without SS. I had to finally tell DW that we had to engage in enjoying our life even when SS was on visitation and that I would no longer forego doing that. I also shared that my expectation was that DW would participate with me, but... I was participating whether or not she was.
She did participate. THough the first event was a struggle for her, we ended up having some great experiences during SS SpermClan visitations. I engaged in repeating those things if I felt SS would enjoy it. We did a few things twice, the first time just DW and I or the two of us and my family. Then the three of us would do them when SS was with us. Because the visitation schedule was long distance, most of the time SS was with us and did not miss much.
I never considered SS to be invasive to my marriage or our life. He was part of it all from day one and still is.... More than 30 years after we started dating.
I often times thought living
I often times thought living AWAY from the b*tch would help tremendously but I honestly think as maniuplative as that c*nt and his spawns are....they will find a way to make life hell, juice him for all his resources, even long distance.
When I first met him he claimed his exwife was moving out of town and taking those kids with her.
My first thought was 'GOOD!!! I don't want to deal with her sh*t nor her spawns on a regular"
Then a month later her dusty a$$ was back, kids in tow, pretending she can't parent her way out of a paper bag to save her life. And now here this dude is scrambling to prove himself to be the better parent, running a 'beck and call b*ch made manny service", overcommitting to these kids to absolve his guilt for divorcing their mother, trying to use me to replace her, and all other sorts of blended family f*ckery that he causes.
My kid is in last year of high school so one thing he actually has a clue about is that I will be safely peacing out within a year or less.
He can cling to his overly needy ex-wife and kids, run his B & C B service, and operate out of a state of guilt and delusion but I won't be around these people much longer to engage in any of it.
Living far from the opposition certainly can help IMHO.
Unless the parent has no testicular fortitude and fails to enforce zero tolerance for behavioral bullshit either from their spawn or their X. In those cases, distance only minimizes the crap when the SKids are with the opposition parent.
In our case we did not have to suffer the EOW/EOWE/Local visitation shedule bullshit. We had SS full time. He lived in our home, our family, and our standards of behavior and performance. Visitation was long distance and 7wks/yr. 5wks summer, 1 winter, 1 spring. They had zero ability to influence SS's real world or our family beyond the crap they would load SS up with during the limited long distance visitation periods. Those we addressed with zero tolerance when SS would return home. We did not allow for anything but immediate integration back into reality and compliance with the behavioral and performance standards his full time reality expected. Interestingly, the drama was rarely when he was home. The drama was there, in SpermLand. Invariably initiated by the SpermGrandHag or the Spermidiot. They did not like that SS was informed, much smarther than them, and increasingly confident in calling them out when they lied to him or otherwise tried to manipulate him.
Not that we did not have some of the kid growing up, teen boy brain farts, etc... We certainly did. But overall, we got off fairly easy in raising SS. He was a pretty good kid, and is an man that his mom and I are very proud of.
^wow......he can send those
^wow......he can send those kids to the moon and back on his time if he wanted to. that's none of her business what he does with them during his parenting time as long as he does abuse or neglect them.
And yeah these c*nts would rather resort to all sorts of below the belt tactics to control another household than to get a clue and a life
Beside leaving Disney daaaaay
Can't you rent a desk somewhere. To work from. Away from SO and kids. May give you a new look on life.
He has to be forced
To deal with HIS kids one on one. Only then will he possibly see the light. Why can't 11 and 15 yr old "job shadow" with dadddddeeeekins? Doesn't he want to pass on the legacy of his employment to his progeny? You need to up the "quality" and quantity time for him.
Can you leave to a coffee shop and work remotely there when daaadddeeeekins comes home so he can spend time with his precious wonders?
Yes I set up at Starbucks
Yes I set up at Starbucks sometimes on weekends during his parenting times
Then he complains that I'm 'gone all day'
Well yeah 1. I don't like sitting around the house all weekend like bumps on logs 2. I am trying to avoid his kids who disturb my peace because they have no concept of indoor voices 3. I am trying avoid seeing his Disneyland coddling parenting style that burns me up when I cant say anything or change it so I leave them at the house
I also told him - back when he kept trying to force me to be responsibile for his kids that he claimed I'm jealous of - he needed to adjust his work schedule to be present during his parenting times or take his kids to work WITH him.
Let him whine
Practice your responses:
"I want you to have quality time with the kids."
"Looks like you had a wonderful time with (insert demons names)!"
"You know (demons names) are really craving your attention...it would really be good for them if you (insert random activity e.g. fishing, hiking, kayaking)."
"What's for dinner?"
"I'll bet the kids would have a GREAT time doing (insert random activity) with you... they will LOVE it!"
Practice acting like an outsider looking in and don't take the emotional bait. Be persistent.
Him: "You're just jealous of my kids!"
You: "You may be right (chuckle)!" (refrain from rolling eyes-- hard as it may be)
Anticipate the "you don't like my kids." "you knew we were a package deal when you met me." (TM)
Silently think of responses you would love to say:
"No I don't like your kids and it's no wonder. "
"For a package deal you sure do dump off your parcels quite often."
IOW don't take anything he says seriously.
OMG- Hilarious!....Gotta
OMG- Hilarious!....Gotta laugh to keep from crying
Ss lives at home. He just started a full time job
sd's live in next state in a home my husband owns. Eldest sd works and youngest sd is in final year of high school. When sd's reconnected with dad, it was after 5.5 yrs of disappearing and cutting off all contact and even when we had outings, i refused to have it revolve around them.
if we were spending that Saturday eating out for lunch and do grocery shopping then hubby would ask me which shopping mall we'd go to. If it was a family engagement or wedding etc and we were staying in a hotel mid-trip, if i wanted to go shopping with kids and go to starbucks for a coffee etc which is normal routine for me, i did that.
if sd's wanted to do something else they were free to but i wasn't gonna change my plans because of them. Now often they'd tag along and in same shopping mall wanted to get a few things but there was never a whole compromise completely for them. We accommodated them and they'd follow whichever restaurant we went to etc.
there is no way hubby would sell a watch the skids during holidays and cater/pander to their needs. Nope!! Even my husband knows since they don't give us respect of our time, efforts and energy, then choose to change plans last minute, we wouldn't cancel any plans we had. If it were something they'd tah along to then they followed what we did or waited till we finished whatever plans or errands etc we had.
fact is they need to understand the world goes on without them and the world doesn't revolve around them
Same
Went from getting SS on the weekends. Literally every weekend (which I thought was bs because she got a free weekend all the time and didn't even work), to him now living with us full time because she decided she doesn't want to parent anymore.