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Disneyland Parents & "The Kids Are In My Possession" BS

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sat, 10/28/2023 - 12:11pm

One major thing that burns me up about Disneyland parents is how they seem to think they're these magnificient parents just becuase their kids are being raised by grandma/wife/auntie/the house half or more of their parenting time

Disneyland dad: "Yeah I'm a great dad!"

Me: "Dude, your kids are being raised by grandma/wife/auntie/the house. You're not even present"

Disneyland dad: Doubles down....."But the kids are in my possession though" 

 

This dude here will leave his kids for 3+ hours to 'work out', tried to leave his kids at this house while we go on dates (um no im not about to be rushed out of my date bc your kids have no chill), tried just about every other weekend to have his ex wife drop his kids off 'early' while he's still at work

I have refused to raise or be responsible for his kids while he's at work. 

So now it's down to the house raising his kids, which in his simple mind is okay because 'those kids are in my possession'. 

It's just mind-boggling how I get accused of trying to 'get rid of his kids' when literally his ex-wife (who cannot stand that he works two jobs to pay off the debt they racked up together during marriage but isnt asking her to repay and pretends not to understand that he needs to work to pay the debt plus her child support plus the household here so she needs to take care of those kids until he's available from work) tries to get rid of her son and dump him off in a house unsupervised for many hours while dude works. 

Comments

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sat, 10/28/2023 - 3:54pm

Not that I'm aware of ..... thank goodness 

Although when I leave I envisioned (I won't actually do it though bc I'm not trying to actively involve those kids any more than they're already involved) setting the key on his sons desk and the engagement ring on his daughters desk. 
 

His mini spouses (led by the beastly layaway plan breeder) want and need this role/man/house/drama more than I do. 
 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sun, 10/29/2023 - 11:41am

Part of me feels like I should keep it since HE lied about being a capable spouse. 
 

He's not. He knows he's not. He knows he is heavily child centered and most women with some self esteem are not about to marry that. 
 

The other part of me wants to give him the ring so he will leave me alone now and after this is over. 

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Sun, 10/29/2023 - 10:28pm

'Under Wisconsin law, an engagement ring is a conditional gift, the condition being the marriage. If you do not consummate the engagement with actually getting married, under the law, the ring must be returned. The leading case in Wisconsin is Brown v. Thomas, 127 Wis. 2d 318, 379 N.W. 2d 868 (Ct. App. 1985).'

Also, Hon, your soon-to-be-ex is a money-grubbing fella'. His outrage over being dumped, combined with his selfishness, will make him far more confrontational than if the ring were returned. Please, don't make your departure any more difficult than it needs to be! 

Stop Sorry to read that your control-freak, wealthy relative is getting involved in your life but, hey, you're a tough cookie and should be able to manage him/her and remember, we're always here for advice and support.

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Mon, 10/30/2023 - 6:33am

I didn't realize there were such laws just etiquette 

I suppose if it meant gaining peace I'd just forgo the ring but I am taking ALL of my possessions 

Hes gonna have to refurnish the entire house lol. 
 

Im hoping my control freak family member will just help without being a PITA. I have managed to dea with that behavior for a while and I try to navigate as best as possible. 
 

Thank you for the advice and support. It means a lot and I am greatful. 
 

 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 10/31/2023 - 9:00pm

There isn't much that they can really do to manipulate other than guilt you and generally be a PITA. 
 

After you move into your new place, block NFM and regulate that interface.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Mon, 10/30/2023 - 12:38pm

Gads. Give it back. Leave it somewhere meaningful, like on top of the toilet. *crazy*

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Mon, 10/30/2023 - 7:14pm

~ Leave it somewhere meaningful, like on top of the toilet. ~ ROFL

 

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Sun, 10/29/2023 - 10:43pm

 

Under most circumstances, Ani, I'd agree with you. However, Lilly's soon-to-be-ex is a cheapskate who would 'go to law' if Lilly kept the ring. The guy also strikes me as a loose cannon who may get very nasty, given a good excuse.

Having just read Jacqueline Rose's  'On Violence and on Violence Against Women', I'm probably a tad more anxious about the fates of women leaving jerks than I would be otherwise, nome sayin'?

 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Mon, 10/30/2023 - 6:36am

True. 
 

Unfortunately I've encountered some unsavory men throughout my life and realize that women are more likely to be abused/victimized by unsavory men when they're most vulnerable (ex. ending a relationship especially if the man feels rejected) 

Some of these Men can turn unsavory at anytime so I don't put anything past any of them. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sat, 10/28/2023 - 7:54pm

The mistaken belief that overpaying CS on purpose to the HCGUBM makes you a great dad.