July 4th / Summer H3LL with DisneyLand Dad (Part 2)
Disneyland dad refuses to tell me (in advance or at all) when his weekend parenting time starts/finishes so I rarely know when I have to share my space (that I pay bills in) with his obnoxious loud rule-breaking kids.
His dumb a$$ is like most idiot disneyland dads (overindulging, can't say no, lets his kids make unreasonable demands, etc).
What pisses me off is how he never follows the court order, doesn't bother to get court order updated since their circumstances have changed, and he takes ALL of the holidays and ALL of the weekends.
He's supposed to have them on weekends only (since his worthless exwife moved back intown to use her kids to run me off) but instead he allows his exwife and kids to make demands (coming to this house all the mf ing time) and now that it's summer (complete with sloppy summer schedules) his guilt is kicking in full force.
I'm pretty much checked out of this relationship and one custody weekend away from calling off my engagement to him.
Anyways Im DREADING July 4th because it's mid week - he's off work, I'm off work and most likely his kids will be begging harder than drug fiend panhandling for their next hit - to land inside this house. I DO NOT want to host them until the weekend. Having them here every weekend is more than enough and I don't want them invading my space, being annoying, not following my rules weekends PLUS random summer weekdays whenever he is too cheap to pay for camp/too p*ssy to assert boundaries/feels like running his BB&C service.
And I feel like since he had them on Memorial weekend its now his ex-wifes turn to host them but he's most likely going to be too p*ssy to assert some boundaries/keep enabling his ex-wife's manipulation tactics he's too gulible to notice.
Normally I would assert MY boundaries and demand his exwife take her holidays instead of him. However, since I plan to leave him in the next couple of months (once I get my GTFO nest egg built) so part of me is in flight mode and would rather avoid them if they're here without my knowledge or consent on July 4th.
FML!!!! Hope I get a Skid-free 4th of July.
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Also adding: He asked me what
Also adding: Yesterday, he asked me what my plans are for the 4th
He seems to like to gather his intel to see how I can service him and his kids. And yet again refused to inform me if he is taking what I believe should be his ex-wife's holiday.
So I told him I was hitting the casino for the buffet LOL
A place where I think my kid can go (since she just turned 18)
So I am basically hinting to him that I am planing to engage in 18+ activities becasue I expect advance notice if his kids will be at this house/he wants group activity AND I expect him to stop enabling his manipulative ex so she can take her kids as she should on some of these holidays.
If he wants to keep ignoring me, keep operating out of guilt at my detriment, keep getting fleeced by his ex-wife and kids, I'm engaging in HARDCORE disengagement
#ftk
No more. No more of him failing to ask you prior to the arrival
of his spawn.
No more.
No more of you tolerating him failing you and your marriage.
No more.
No more of him.
End it now. For your own quality of life.
No more sacrificing yourself on the alter of SParental martyrdom to this failed man, failed mate, failed father and his invading spawn.
No more.
Take care of you.
Trust and believe.....
Trust and believe.....
I've already "quiet quit" this relationship (fake nice until the final departure so he doesn't try to sabbotage my exit)
Lining up my GTFO funds as we type
#reclaimingmypeace
Make Yourself Some Plans
Go to the casino with your kid. Or anywhere. Tell SO he's welcome to attend. And leave it at that. And every time he asks what your plans are (as you know he's gathering intel so you can watch his kids), always make up something that gets you out of the house or has you super busy with your work. On events, tell him he's welcome to attend with you. Or, he can stay home and entertain his kids...LOL.
I wouldn't end the engagement until you are ready to walk out the door. You'd open the door to more troubles if he finds out early. Best to you.
Excellent tips!
Excellent tips!
Yeah I planned to give a fake invite....Something I know he will be too lazy to want to do or his kids will be too picky to want to do lol just to shut him up and so I wont get accused of intentionally avoiding his kids (I'm avoiding his ex-wifes demands her kids be at this house 24/7 and his guilt riddled disneyland parenting but unfortunately his kids are caught in the crossfire).
Good for you!!!
Escape is imminent. No advice other than encouragement, and get thee out of the house. Have your own fun untainted by him and his brood.
Definitely do anything you
Definitely do anything you can to be out of the house when they are around. Summer break has started and I have booked extra hours in office. I went to the office today and will go wednesday to be out of their way. The only thing im dreading is tomorrow because the office will be closed but hopefully i can pretext some shopping. I have been asking them what their plans are and hinting to go to the parade but they refuse so that means it will be another day off at home with everyone and I refuse to be around that!
Continue to get out of the house either by booking more work or pretexting activities with your child
Did they come?
Did they come for the 4th? I too would peace-out of this situation. I would not be able to have no control of my home, never knowing when they were coming and never having a say- just expected to drop everything and have them when they or DH decided. Your wants or needs are obviously not being considered at all. I'm sorry this is happening...you are absolutely making the right choice, but it doesn't make it suck less. Just imagine your life with someone who will actually consider you in decisions and put you at the top of the priority list!
Thank heavens they did not
Thank heavens they did not land inside this house. (Mid week, on what I believe should be his ex wife's holiday)
I slightly perturbed he didn't set a boundary with her and insist she take her holiday but I suppose you can't force people to act like better parents and I'm just glad they didn't end up here until I supposed to deal with them (the weekends and every other holiday)