You are here

Relationships with the stepson

LemonGrassLove's picture

Submitted by LemonGrassLove on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 11:18am

I've come to the realization that I do not, in fact, like my step son. And I feel awful not like a three year old but this kid is violent and unpredictable because of the things he's seen with his mother. During our visitation we got him a toy car from Goodwill, we've decided that buying toys for way more then they're worth is stupid so if they're in good shape we get them second hand. This car has a little guy inside and this little guy pops up when it hits something then you push it down and you can do it all over again. He didn't have this car more than 8 hours before he took a wand of bubbles (think night stick of bubbles) and beat this car, breaking it into about 4 separate pieces. This was hard plastic, it wasn't some cheap toy. I'm sure someone, somewhere spent a pretty penny on this car and he managed to break it within just a few hours of having it.

When he does stuff like this it makes me not want him around my 6 month old son. It makes me not want to spend all this money fighting for a kid that SO seems to like about half the time. I know he's going to turn into the kid that everyone forgets about and that's sad. But I am not his parent. I have tried taking care of him but his fuck tard of a mother has screwed that up. She has screwed up any chance of him developing an emotional connection with anyone. He is going to be one screwed up kid and frankly, I want absolutely nothing to do with it. If she wants to screw him up, she can deal with him. I don't want to be bailing him out of jail or pick him up from school when he gets detention or anything! I don't want to deal with their screw up!

And there is no way I can tell my SO that I don't like his kid. SS just doesn't have anything in his eyes. There is nothing there.

Comments

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 1:42pm

I think it might be good to speak with his dad about feeling tired and exhausted, and you are afraid maybe it would translate to you resenting his kid in the future if he doesn't step up. You want everything to work out but you need his help, because he's the man and he fixes things and protects your family right? You want SS to grow up healthy and smart and a well adjusted adult and that means his dad has to be a wonderful role model and trim him and help him become that person you know he can be.

It might make you throw up in your mouth a bit, but hey, stroking a guy's ego is better than bashing it! It might open up the way for better communication. It isn't your job, but try to get him to see it without being confrontational.

Easier to catch flies with honey...

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 5:01pm

"If she wants to screw him up, she can deal with him."

- I completely agree. My 2 SKIDS (girl8, boy10) are SOOOOO screwed up and brainwashed by their mother that it should be considered child abuse! I, too, have a baby in the house and my SKIDS are fairly rambunctious/violent and I don't like them being around him - or even my equally rambunctious 5-yr-old! The SKIDS have adopted BM's fucked up view of reality (since they were 18 months and 4 yrs old) that I don't think there's any way for them to live healthy productive lives, which is sad because their father believes they can. I, for one, do not just by hearing the way they talk and their opinions of things...But I guess you can't stop someone from HOPING things will take a different turn.